andrew-87-904401

The fifth and final Daniel Craig Bond outing. How did we get here? Casino and Quantum perhaps should have been one film. Craig's era only really got going properly with Skyfall, three films and 6 years in. Too much time was spent rebooting and reestablishing. By then, it was also presenting him as old and past it. But Skyfall was otherwise magnificent and should probably have been the first film. Spectre followed, tying everything up, and establishing an overarching storyline. While Blofeld was only in that one film, his presence was magnified by a partially successful linking of all four films, bringing the series to a satisfactory and upbeat conclusion. After what felt like a definite end, where could they go from here?

No Time To Die is spawned from a throwaway line Madeline Swan makes in one of Spectre's duller scenes, not something I'd ever cared to explore further. The first 5 minutes is that story - her story - before normal service is resumed, and we're back to Bond and a spectacular Italian opening sequence.

As before, Madeline is sullen. She has a secret, but it's largely irrelevant to anything going on. Their relationship lacks the chemistry he had with Vesper and, more worryingly, becomes so domesticated I was expecting them to pop into Tesco. The presence of a child also feels wrong and awkward in just about every way. Bond was was always escapist, sexy, adult fantasy. What happened?

A decade after Skyfall, the film again plays on Bond's age, which the most significant new character, Noeme, mocks. Unlikeable, abrasive and charmless, Bond takes a back seat to her - literally at one point - losing his identity. He's old, retired, forgotten, has no title or sex appeal.

Series regulars, Moneypenny and Felix, are sidelined and discarded. The film's best new character, Paloma, is underused. Her chapter is classic Bond, aside from her disinterest in him - his second rejection in the film, making this easily the most sexless film in the entire franchise.

One regular that would not have been missed was the ubiquitous DB5 - again! Moreover, Aston Martins are everywhere in this story, diluting their impact and specialness.

The central plot is contrived and confusing. The main villain is weak and cliched, doing one thing, then another, with no real believable motivation behind any of his actions. He doesn't have the maturity or gravity required for the role and his age is inconsistent with Madeline's. There is an enjoyable chase in Norway, but why is he there? What's the point? Is he out for revenge or conquering the world? But it gets worse. The all-powerful Spectre is comprehensively dealt with by him. The alarming ease with which this is done - almost as an aside - completely undermines Bond's four-film long journey. Why wasn't Bond dealing with Blofeld and Spectre?

The finale is weak and contrived. The long-take staircase scene has been done before (Children of Men, Atomic Blonde). Enhanced by a Hans Zimmer score, it does build into a moving ending. But it is downbeat and leaves you feeling disappointed and miserable, if not depressed. Not something I've felt with any other Bond film. It would work better as a stand alone thriller.

This film is completely unnecessary. It doesn't tie up any loose ends or take the story forward. That's not to say it isn't entertaining, it has much to recommend it, with some wonderful, big budget set pieces. But the initial disappointment I had after my first viewing has never gone. It is an awkwardly engineered bolt-on, a deconstructive, box-ticking exercise with a directionless story that serves no real purpose except to undermine what's gone before.

The Craig era should have ended with Spectre. It felt like it had. As he famously said after filming, he'd rather "slash his wrists" than do another one. "All I want to do is move on," he continued. If only he had. A Bond film used to be the go to staple for some light-heated fun and excitement. This one has no time for that.

The film follows four threads, all equally directionless and boring. Nothing happens, it's slow and tedious. The dialogue is forced and awkward, it feels like a play. The script is absolutely terrible with no story. It's quite nicely shot, but the snow looks fake and it doesn't feel cold - you can't see anyone's breath. If you're a fan of all involved (I am) and like slow-burning films (I do), consider giving it a go, but for anyone else, it's a complete waste of two hours. How or why this ever got made is a mystery to me. Pretentious, self-important, dull and pointless. This is a film without merit.

Familiar ground: a dystopian future with an oppressed under-class. The future aspect is relatively unimportant and probably only a decade or so from 2024, but makes for some colourful visuals. There are countries in the world that could host something similar now. I'm not sure where it's meant to be set, supposedly London, but because almost everyone was black, possibly South Africa.

The story is a dreary, vague and slow drama. There are few original ideas, plenty of cliches and you feel little connection with any of the characters. I didn't understand much about the rules of the society - how it became like this, what it was like before, what options there were. The world is moving away from this vision, poverty has been in rapid decline since the Industrial Revolution and continues to reduce, so there is a certain cynicism to it. If you're going to do this, at least be interesting or entertaining.

I have no idea why or how this was made. It was very unconvincing, feeling like a student film with a big budget. Depressing, unoriginal, pointless and very boring. Don't bother.