Foreverisacastironmess123

Lol Wow, did this movie ever take an about turn in its final act! I was enjoying this perfectly well as a drama about a man fleeing physical and mental abuse at his beautiful lover but the unbelievably ridiculous and out of nowhere sci-fi turn the plot takes just completely obliterated all of that, the guy was a robot or something? It didn't work and was just completely unnecessary and meaningless, it was would have worked fine enough if he'd have been hallucinating or something because of hunger and some weird sneaky sh@t the creepy little therapist was doing, I was enjoying the drama, the lead actor was quite good and sincere and it was to me poignant and pretty relatable when he was wrestling between sticking to his guns and calling his boyfriend to teIl him where he was, you don't generally get that brought up very often in movies when it's two guys involved. But when he very unexpectedly starts spouting alien gobbledegook at the end well, the damn movie is rendered pretty much worthless! The twist is just so very hackneyed and amateurish and just completely sends the movie totally careening and flying off the rails and it's one of the worst most poorly done plot twists I've ever seen in a ton of movies, sadly it's one to avoid because instead of being the drama with dark edges it was clearly meant to be, it tries to be a little too much and succeeds at nothing... What a total drag man!

Yikes! So this is a scary movie, just not in the good horror movie kind of way, it's just scary bad. I never particularly enjoy the ones that are this incompetent and cheap and amateurish on most every level you can think of, it's the kind of bad where you have to turn your brain off just to get any real enjoyment, and that has its place with B-movies that are actually fun and entertaining, but this movie is just rotten and it harmed me physically, I got headache! Except for making you laugh once or twice maybe, it doesn't have any good qualities. I must have caught like five sentences while watching it because the way the lines are delivered my brain just went nope, you ain't watching that! I'd already checked out mentally before it even got to the ten minute dialogue scenes because frankly the acting is the least of this movie's problems. The movie would have been better without the reporter character because he was the worst, they were all poor actors but he was a sack of potatoes in front of the camera and whenever he was on screen the movie went from a one to a negative-one, he was an energy sapper. It should have just focused on the Native American chick fighting the ridiculous motorcycle-roaring sasquatch. The sasquatch just looked so bad and cheap like a dime store Halloween costume that has too much chest showing lol. Power Rangers monsters were more impressive. It was also the writing, the mixing of horrible practical effects with even worse cgi, apparently this movie couldn't even afford to use a real net, and it was always doing that thing where someone would go outside and it would be nighttime when it had clearly just been daytime, in the scenes where you'll get people's limbs flying all over the place, in the next scene they'd be attached, just sloppy and mostly very boring to me.. In closing this is not a so bad it's good movie, not really, the genuinely fun ones aren't usually such endurance tests to sit all the way through. I'm all for cheesy horror but I'd rather drop an anvil on my foot then watch all that again. Thank you Suburban Sasquatch, my soul hurts. 🎃

Oh this one is just precious! It's really the entire experience of the movie that makes it freaky, it all has a real uncanny valley type thing to it, like what you might imagine the world of one of those bizarre 90s PC horror video games that had the live action cutscenes might be like? To put it mildly it's more silly than scary, and it's a 'movie' that you have to either get on board with right away or you're best to just shut off quick! It's so hilariously lame, like a bad, cheap TV movie or even a Christian movie, one that's trying much too hard to be all serious and scary, but there's not even any gore and what little violence they're is wouldn't give anyone nightmares unless they were about three, no nudity, no swearing, and the vibe and acting is really cute how much they're genuinely trying and how sincere some of those actors were playing their parts, and some of them are so perfunctory and flat that you just know they had to have been friends or family of the crew helping out by playing bit parts! I find it an absurdly lovable movie, but it was crying out for some black comedy, it's all a bit too seriously presented. I do believe Birdemic had more involving characters to it. I find that really funny in the movie too, there's something about the flat yet earnest line delivery that just makes me want to crack up, for me it definitely nails the so-bad-it's-good thing. I rather like it for what it is though, something of a new guilty pleasure for me. The only part I really didn't like as much was how stupid the plot gets as everyone goes on a monster hunt and there's a witch with magic and everything? Also there's a ninja.. So in the closing while this is definitely a bad movie that never ever pops up and grabs you, it's also bizarrely charming and funny and very oddly enjoyable, a good-bad flick for sure! "Thank you Mrs. Timson." X 🎃