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Reviews
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Not bad but not great; teen agnst mixed with lore abandonment
I would not call this a masterpiece nor visually stunning, anyone that would rate a movie 10/10 is delusional. Very few things in this world are 10/10. At best this is a 4 - 5.
For what ever reason the director choose to expand or rather elaborate on the Lore thats in the books while at the same time Ignoring it completely. There's a huge part from the ending thats just completely missing. I especially hated how they made Chani seem like an angry little bish the entire movie, or omitted the part where Paul marry's her and all but ignores Princess Irulan.
I also feel like they did Dave Bautista's character Beast Rabban pretty dirty in this second part making him seem like a true bad ass only to be seen cowering in this one.
The fight scene between Paul and Feyd was extremely lack luster; yes the pacing was good, the cut's were good, the camera work was good, but it lacked the psychopathic over confidence that Feyd had in both the books and the original movie.
The visuals in this were atleast passable, the tone over all, the pacing were all good! And thankfully there was no horrible shaky cam bs or quick cuts to hide the fact that people cant act or are so out of shape they cant move. My only issue with the fight scenes is that these idiots keep exposing their back and doing (editx) spins like they're a (editx) ballerina doing a pirouette; its highly unrealistic, extremely dangerous and would never be done in a real fight. You never expose your back or your flank and you never leave your adversary standing behind you.
More and more I feel like movies are made for the lowest common denominator those with low emotional intelligence.
4/10 - 5/10 mostly flash low substance.
Borderlands (2024)
Its a Movie; Its not horrible but its not good either
It just doesn't translate for anyone thats ever played literally any of the Border Lands games its not going to connect. Borderlands was a run and gun fps game with crass humor, violence and gore while the movie is void of anything that resembles anything remotely close to fun. There's a few lines that got a laugh but was quickly over shadowed by the reshoots, lack of tone and plethora of bland and boring exposition.
The character casting despite having an almost all star cast was completely wrong for this movie despite even Kevin Hart (as Roland) keeping his normal frantic humor not present at all during the entire run time. Even with Kat as Lilith doing her best to had some charisma felt like a miss.
The Entire Borderlands games Series was built around something like 40trillion different guns and we got like 5 in the movie.
This was clearly marketed to pre-teens and kids under 10. Instead of being R-Rated and marketed towards Fans and the Cult Following that Borderlands has gained over the years which in turn would of gave the movie better marketing from word-of-mouth.
The Kicker for me was the utter lack of characterization of Krieg without any of Jason Douglas's signature lines for the character and not so much as a Cameo from Chris Rager or his Voiced counter part Torgue.
Krieg's best line (one of):
Over here, my sweet meats, your prince of justice and genocide has something to say: Gone are the days of the tentacle and the age of the gods and mercy is far away... We are fighters of the middle, the second act in the three-part MEAT play, AND I WILL WIN BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!
This movie is a flop as most Video Game adaptations are.
Be warned; Don't waste your time or your money if your a Fan of the Series you wont be happy if you do.
The Abandon (2022)
Nothing new
If you liked, 1997 The Cube. Or 2002 Cube 2, 214 The Signal and 2018 Bird box you might like this.
It really just smashes all of them up together and throws in an actor thats 'supposedly' a soldier.
Whom ever is writing scripts for movies these days just cant come up with anything original its always the same seven plots. This movie is 'Voyage and Return' where the hero gets taken to some far off place has an experience that becomes integral to the story.
Filled with the most cringe, ear raping, annoying sound track and the stereotypical xenophobic "not going to listen to you because your arabaic/muslim" then takes the next 30+ minutes to finally get the point of what is literally smacking him in the face.
But yes lets makes another 'syfy horror' movie about some far flung alien race that is so incredibly advanced that they control both Space-Time and Gravity! They they are going to cross the Galaxy or Traverse the Universe to come here!? Total load of crap! That would be like us Collectively going to the most remote part of the solar system to knock over an ant hill right after we goto the Sentinelese to wipe them out.
This new generation of writers cant do anything other the prey on the most archaic and basic of human fear; syfy used to be about hope for the future and discovery like 2001. Honestly this kind of trite garbage doesn't even warrant a two Rating they couldn't even be bothered to do some basic math that would be found on a bathroom stall at MIT.
The set looked cheap af as well which explains why this didn't even go to theaters with its 4.5million dollar budget and only made some 100k world wide they probably blew the entire budget on the 45second CGI scene.
The TLDR;
Cringe, annoying, loud ear harming, non-nonsensical, trite junk. Dont Bother!
Madame Web (2024)
Horrible campy acting not even Ms. Johnson could save
I had a feeling starting it but with Dakota Johnson in it we figured we'd try it. It started out well enough but went down hill super quick.
It was bad and I mean REALLY Bad!
The acting was super cringe, flat, campy and just so cliche that I literally was asked wtf are we watching.
Im not sure if its the writers fault, the directors or the actors but you folks really missed with your own target audience.
You propose these 'bad ass super heros' without any of the hero journey. You want us to like characters you have to make them likeable, not inept, flat and two dimensional that can barely be called a person.
Its honestly a wonder how these corporations can even stay in business when they shell out for these hollow films and cancel the ones that fans actually liked.
Deus (2022)
Horrible; Soylent Green in Space
Its soylent green in space if it was a lower budget, thrown in with a couple of well known actors to carry this stinker. As much as I love claudia black I wouldn't of watched this if it wasn't for her at all and thats only because of Farscape and Stargate. The Entire first act is very low budget with nothing really to it. The 2nd 2/3 atleast has some minuscule action thats mostly just CGI with little to nothing else outside of a over done physical acting by Ms. Black in the "med bay" thats little more then a table with lights on it most of the set pieces are similar. Im honestly just not sure if the British can do Science Fiction.
Reacher (2022)
I dont Give 10 Stars
Since ive been on IMDB I think of give two other 10 star ratings. Probably something from the late Robin Williams and something from Keanu Reeves. I dont give 10 stars for the simple reason that very few things hit hard enough to warrant it. There's always something keeping any given movie or show from it; be it Acting, writing, filmography, action, pacing what ever some thing always falls flat and it pulls you out of the 'escapism' like guys firing guns and never reloading or firing three rounds and then reloading for the 15th time. While I haven't read the books from what I can tell not only does it stay true to the source material at excels at it. Maybe hollywood will learn from this? Probably not. Like everything else this show will probably be cancelled within a few seasons for some bs made up reason even though the vast majority of people have favorable responses to it. If it wasn't for this show I probably would of cancelled my Prime membership a while ago.
The Black Demon (2023)
You might like it if your brain dead or have low IQ
Unconnected plot points for an inconsistent creature feature film with all of maybe 10seconds of actual creature time. Add in a heavy doss of Extremely low emotional intelligence and child actors that are sobbing one second and then completely fine the next followed by a next scene where the movie just immediately picks up the pacing . You'd have to be an idiot to find this entertaining, I dont know what I expected but it wasn't this from the cool fkn poster it looked like it might be the next jaw's boy was I let down. This movie seems to be trying to piggy back on the "MEG" franchise by having roughly the same creature in but instead of having good action, an interesting story or any kind of character development it gets replaced with some hooky 2000year old maya religion crap that feels somehow both forced and out of place at the same time so Kudos to the Producer/Director for being able to do that.
Your not going to walk away from this dumpster fire travesty feeling anything at all. Its the same white guy savior bs cliche movie troop that been regurgitated over and over again for years.
Radius (2017)
The Bad Guys Always loose
Syfy/Drama/Thriller
guy wakes up in a field without his memories. Blah blah blah. People that get within thirty feet or so of him just randomly drop dead. Then they seemingly throw out the entire premise of the movie only to stir in a plot twist her is the female lead who seemingly doesn't die. Some more blah blah blah turns out these two are "polar opposites" or if your a science oriented person he is giving off some kind of EM field that kills people and she when in close proximity cancels the field. Some more blah blah blah happens, turns out he seemingly saved her life from an attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge at the equivalent height of two or three stories or so. Some more blah blah blah. Basically it turns out they both got hit with a lightning strike and that some how gave them 'powers'? Which seems like just lazy writing so im going with EM field (electromagnetic field) because every living thing on earth actually has a very minor but measurable one. We then find out he is a serial killer and has been praying on the Missing Women of a town for awhile and Rose was to be his next victim but they got hit with that lightning strike instead causing both to loose their memories. A little more blah blah blah and she ends up getting shot by these idiots trying to kill him, he rushes her to the hospital and then shoots him self in the head.
Roll credits. Its not quite a waste of an hour and a half of your life but your not coming away from the movie feeling anything profound. Basically its a movie trope in cinema that bad guys always loose, because they dont always loose in real life.
Die Hart (2023)
Strange, Bizare, Violent and yet
Stupid ... just so stupid! Seriously stupid to a point where I am dumbfounded about my self for having sat through it almost entirely. I probably skipped a good 5-10minutes; Dont get me wrong I love Nathalie and Jean but this was like watching a god damn Segal movie post 1990 like after Under Siege when he started thinking hes an actual martial artist.
I fully believe Kevin Hart could be a leading (point man) action star if he would literally take ANY of his roles seriously and not as a joke. Hell look at Keanu doing John Wick. If you want to lead then train like like and make a serious flick.
Vendetta (2022)
Tailor movie for stupid children
If your not a kid under 18, male, or if you actually have a brain then your not going to like this one. Bruce couldn't even carry this horrible pos.
#1 There's no such thing as a Retired or "Use To Be a Marine" unless you were a cook, or a clerk or a Chaplin then stop using the "Marine" tag line like it means something only to be the worst fighter in hand to hand easily gets his ass kicked! And has no muzzle control with a firearm.
#2 it would take less then 10seconds for a Marine to kill anyone especially when your talking about some punk kid, in 1v1 hand to hand close quarter combat. Think John WIck expect Faster! What we get in this movie isn't a marine its more like an Army Radio Specialist its honestly more then a little disrespectful that people think this kind of portrayal of one of the worlds most trained and most lethal combat branches is looked at or written about like a weakling. Especially one that looks in such good shape.
Worst of all most of the dialog is Laughable at how utterly bad it is, I mean most of it really is just cliche I was half way expecting some to say "Im always ready" just so I can without a doubt confirm its not going to get any better and just turn it off.
Voyagers (2021)
Lord of the Flies with a twist
The Twist is its in Space and just gets stupid after that.
These "Characters" are bad joke, everything about this wreaks of bad writing and is utterly taboo. I was hoping the entire time of an actual alien or atleast a simulation hell I would have settled for a fake ship inside a NASA Vacuum Tube in a study to test the human mind when exposed to deep space and isolation.
Instead its stupidity followed by even dumber dialog! Not to mention that somehow we were able to travel to another star system that isn't Proxima Centauri in 86years
Skip this save your brain cells.
Starship Troopers: Traitor of Mars (2017)
This is rated too high
While the animation is decent at best "Sgt Rico" wouldn't be commanding a squad full of cowards! It wasn't even 5minutes in and the feminist sexism was already glaring at you daring you not to notice it while its slapping you in the face. With its bold statements like "Marines are apparently all cowards" except Rico which I take personal offense to and "Marines will stand there in shock while their team gets killed right in front of their eyes" then lastly only women are somehow immune to this with a bug seemingly barking at her like a dog instead of taking that same exact time to rip her apart. Im sorry but this is bulls***.
The first two movies were an allegory for the military indoctrination of youth and the military complex at large. If you were quick you caught what the writer and director were saying. We are the bugs, we move from place to place consume the resources and move to the next area and do it again while we destroy everything in the path even if its the planet its self.
This animation did not land close to the tree that spawned it. The viewer might enjoy this if your IQ is low or your below a 12th grade reading level.
Doors (2021)
Skip this or say "okay what?"
This is our reality, we live in it with these movie concepts that are great as a concept but instead of anything deep, meaningful or syfy we are instead given little more then a plot device. It gives the immediate distinction that it is here to "Archive" meaning catalog, index and store Humanity and then "Refreshes" the world by ending it.
The doors them self resemble trillions of nano bots, the technology proposed indicates that it can bend, warp, meld, transform, create and destroy matter as well as Space and Time. What ever these "Doors" are is not benevolent entity. Little else can be gleaned other then its a multi-dimensional nature means its more powerful then god and its actions make it far less kind.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Campy, lame, cheap jump scares and campy af
Typical nick cage trash, this time its "demonic possessed robots" if it wasn't obvious at first glance.
Thor: End of Days (2020)
DId you watch the trailer? Congrats you've seen the whole movie then
There's a better Thor on NetFlix the show was called Ragnorok honestly its by far a better Thor story. This one though eh it wouldn't be so bad if it had a better presence This one has no depth, soul, passion or edge. "If its going to be mellow its gotta have something or it better mean something!" -Wes Borlan.
The New Mutants (2020)
No Continutity: a movie about teens to afraid to do anything
Jeez this movie took comic book superhero's and turned them into children afraid of their own shadows to a point where they would rather give up or run away instead of use their powers and fight only to Finally make them fight 20minutes later.
The only characters that get any character development are the girls and the guys are throw away characters.
This movie has no pacing, the action scenes are limp with people screaming and crying or flailing around in the case of the only other "Bad Ass" female.
Either the dialog is flat or these people lack the ability to act or posses any kind of physically prowess to make an action sequence look good.
I found my self saying "Fight", "Get Up!" "Stop Crying", "Stop Screaming" "You can teleport! just teleport out of the bubble!" and "What are you waiting for Draw Your Damn Sword and Teleport" repeatedly throughout the entire second half of this cheese fest, eye rolling, cringe, groan worthy piece of junk.
Can we just have a decent movie with a strong female lead thats actually good.
Seuwiteuhom (2020)
Think Resident Evil only waayyyy worse!
Im sure it looses something in translation, but the acting in this is horrible.
Average Joe (2021)
I cant give this lower then a 1.
If I could give this a negative score I would -10, as in you would have to pay me to watch this.
This might be a good movie if I didn't care about things like acting, story, plot, dialog, action, drama or really anything that makes a movie watchable.
If you watched the trailer you've seen the entire movie. Seriously. Save your brain cells.
Seungriho (2021)
Edhy and cliche
Its kind of bad, its not the worst thing on netflix thats for sure with this drought of content either from the pandemic or netflix just being inept.
The whole movie just has edgy plastered all over it, since I am not Korean and am unable to appreciate the film un-dubbed I am sure it looses something there cause the voice acting in dubbed was horrible, extremely campy and cliche. It fails to make any kind of emotional connection or instill any empathy for its main characters or its plot device.
it might be better entertainment if I didn't have a brain.
Kimetsu no Yaiba (2019)
SteroTypical pre-teen immature annoying anime
Its annoying more then it is entertaining with all the cliche anime tropes thrown in to keep the immature fan boys happy. I doubt you'll enjoy it unless thats your thing.
Peppermint (2018)
Decent but poorly writen sends the wrong message
-Warning contains spoilers-
Its hard to review this title without spoiling it. So lets dive into this trash.
While I love Garner I dont think this is on her, but the opening scene alone doesn't make sense as does much of this movie. We open up with three gang bangers tatted up like its 1980 Santa Monica who open fire on a Family on a fair ground while driving a crown vic in a parking lot. That alone isn't whats screwy whats off is Apparently the Husband is or rather was involved with this gang somehow and the wifey somehow already knows about this. The amount of cringe taboo is just putting my eyes in the back of my skull. Queue sappy heart felt dramatic music with a silent scream and action. There was no attempt by the gang banger father after hearing the first shot to even seek cover or shield the child. Has my eyes roll further into the back of my head shaking in dumbfounded to this bs. So its already a story of a weak cowardly guy type with the "strong female" wow ground breaking work here. Its John Wick without the dog. Its Diehard 2 and not 1. If you want to make a movie like this it has to be believable and this hot trash isn't; Thats just the first 25minutes it gets worse, as a Wife and mother who just got home from the hospital after receiving a gun shot to the Head! by the way there's no exposition there at all was it a grazing shot? Next thing we know shes got short hair for no apparent reason other then to signify a mental decline. With no other friends or family at the house shes just putting things into boxes like la-de-da and in walks some unknown man doors not even locked lets himself right in. Again this is 30minutes in and im not sure If I can stomach this hot trash any further. The worst part is its not the acting its just a Tone Deaf piece of drama trying to be an action movie and it missed. It misses all the marks where it counts and matters.
The Assignment (2016)
Near miss
Near miss as in Miss this one, Not to throw shade on any of the actresses or actors in this flix. But making a movie just to appease a social offset or the lbqtg community 8s not how good movies are made. I honestly dont understand what is happening in our world where they have to hide such a talented and beautiful actress like Michelle Rodriguez in cgi guy makeup to try and make it believable and then make that cgi dick, so Miss Rodriguez is a shower and not a grower I'm straight but that's just a little disappointing
Monsters: Dark Continent (2014)
Confusing afffffff
Watching this was like being forced to listen to someone tell a story and you just don't care. Confusing with scene transitions and a complete lack of exposition being shown half way decent cgi without any explanation on what's being shown while scenes are overly dark or saturated without lighting. Again there is basically no explanation on what these things are where they come from or how they ended up here.
This leaves me wondering if any of this was covered in the first movie
Submission (2019)
Just bad don't waste your time
Not going to lie or sugar coat this, this "movie" is really bad. Not sure I'd it's the script or the acting bit it never lets up. from heartless performances soulless dialog and a repetitive cascade of scenes that leave you wondering what is happening what is going on or where that came from which wouldn't be complete with out these very obvious set and scene transitions. The good news it's on netflix so if you have the run time to kill and you don't feel like watching paint drying or literally doing anything else with your life you can slug through this one.
Doom: Annihilation (2019)
The Worst Movie of 2019
What to say about this movie ... Weak acting, I mean its so bad its funny!
These "UAC MARINES" are more like children running around with paintball guns rather then actually showing combat tactics, weapon control, or even simple formations.
The only reason I can see why they would spit in the face of the fans is to appease the feminist, like these girls screaming as they gun down a zombie or insert dramatic pauses after they punch a male counter part which dialogue leaves you thinking "what!?" this movie is barley coherent. The Men are all portrayed as weak, feeble, scared cowards these are supposed to be Marines! and any man that shows any strength is immediately killed off and the rest run away from a fight! A man can dump an entire magazine into one of the movies bad guys and it just keeps going but a female and do 3 bursts of 3round for a total of 9shots and it dies!
Another movie with people walking around with 3-4 bullets in a magazine and arnt capable of reloading because their male.
I cannot rip on this movie enough not even a full 20minutes into the movie these so called marines are in a wide open room were talking 30x30 and yet somehow some way these bad guys are able to sneak right up on them!? What is this movie!?