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...and lacklustre.

If you like drab colours, muted scenes and grey British countryside, you can find Tourist Information videos on YouTube - admittedly they won't be as beautifully shot as Skyfall - but they'll have the same depth of story.

This really was a sickening disappointment, where one expected fights and glamorous locations; instead we were treated to dull conversation in basements, lacking either tension or humour.

And it's obvious the Global Recession has effected the budget for this latest effort, because apart from a few skyline shots in Singapore, for the most part we were ensconced in English train tunnels or grey London streets - so take a lesson from the miserly budget afforded for Bond's most recent outing, and don't waste your money.

Shot completely on video, it has the air of a cheap and tawdry exploitation flick - and that's what it is, a soft-soft-porn fantasy of a powerful white women falling for a jobless black man who still lives at home with his mother.

The opening scene is gratuitous and repulsive, the female lead decrying her lack of sex while marveling at the amount of intimate toys she has collected, her monologue felt like it was stolen from the trash-bin of 'Sex and the City'.

And this same stilted dialogue continues throughout the rest of the film when she's talking with her white girlfriends, who immediately bring up the stereotype of black men having large penises, and go on to say that nothing else really matters.

As for the male lead, his conversations with his peers are equally racist, with a large dose of sexism thrown in to boot, and nothing is said to rectify these assumptions throughout the whole film, except on the most perfunctory level.

I'm going to end this review right here because this film is a piece of garbage, and I don't want to waste any more time on it.