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Reviews8
vampiremovies's rating
As far as I am aware this is the only mermaid porn film in existence. If anybody knows of any others please let me know!!! For that reason alone it is unique.
Its an adult take on "Splash" with Traci Lords as our voluptuous mermaid who can conveniently materialise legs when out of the water. Lords is amazing and lights up the screen, it is unbelievable to think that she is just 16! This film was quickly taken off the shelves and reshot with a different actress and I hear that the remake is awful since what makes this movie is Lords.
The film has a clear plot, attempt at acting and a great deal of charm. Secretly I rather enjoyed it!
Its an adult take on "Splash" with Traci Lords as our voluptuous mermaid who can conveniently materialise legs when out of the water. Lords is amazing and lights up the screen, it is unbelievable to think that she is just 16! This film was quickly taken off the shelves and reshot with a different actress and I hear that the remake is awful since what makes this movie is Lords.
The film has a clear plot, attempt at acting and a great deal of charm. Secretly I rather enjoyed it!
I'm a big fan of B-Movies, but even the sight of Michelle Bauer naked and the novelty of rollerblading nuns 'skating the path of righteousness' is not enough to save this film.
I have now seen the first three of the five "Rollerblade" films - why oh why I ask myself!!! This is not the worst (I kid you not) Rollerblade 7 (no. 3 in the saga) is a close contender for worst movie EVER made. But it is still terrible. Set in some kind of post apocalypse mad max world these mystic rollerblading nuns who worship the acidman face are the force of order - Honor bound to defeat all chaotic minions in this case the evil Dr. Satacoy, a leather faced rocket scientist with a pervy puppet for a hand.
What gets me most is the mock Shakesperian language, often with a put on French (I think) accent. Mother Speed, the wheelchair bound leader of the rollerblade order likes saying "yea verily" and thus, thee and tresspass are stuck in quite a bit. Terrible dialogue, Bad acting, poor cinamatography, laughable special effects, non-sensical plot.... Who came up with this garbage?!
I have now seen the first three of the five "Rollerblade" films - why oh why I ask myself!!! This is not the worst (I kid you not) Rollerblade 7 (no. 3 in the saga) is a close contender for worst movie EVER made. But it is still terrible. Set in some kind of post apocalypse mad max world these mystic rollerblading nuns who worship the acidman face are the force of order - Honor bound to defeat all chaotic minions in this case the evil Dr. Satacoy, a leather faced rocket scientist with a pervy puppet for a hand.
What gets me most is the mock Shakesperian language, often with a put on French (I think) accent. Mother Speed, the wheelchair bound leader of the rollerblade order likes saying "yea verily" and thus, thee and tresspass are stuck in quite a bit. Terrible dialogue, Bad acting, poor cinamatography, laughable special effects, non-sensical plot.... Who came up with this garbage?!
I picked up this movie as a big fan of Debbie Rochon, and for that reason alone was not disappointed, she is the one thing that makes this movie watchable. There are 4 'stories' - the first is a journalist who finds out that her boyfriend is an alien and that she's pregnant. This segment is by far the best of the movie, its well acted, interesting and frankly looks great.
Alas it goes down hill from here, the second story is about an operative who disappeared 5 years ago and suddenly reappears being chased by these two dodgy looking men in black. They are aliens and want this mysterious stone that only he knows the location of. Rather dull and nonsensical.
Part three is the worst, I almost didn't think I'd make it to the end. A man is sent into the quarrentined state of Florida in the not to distant future to bring back intelligence on alien time travel. He gets to wrestle a papier mache alligator and do some very silly looking kung-fu. Shudder this is bad.
The final part beings us back to the lovely Miss Rochon and brings in the alien war plot line. Not bad, reasonably complex plot and ok the budget is very limited, but I actually thought it wasn't too bad.
Overall this is a very disjointed film. The middle is so very very bad, and rather unnecessary, but the beginning and end are rather fun. I can't say I'd recommend this, but I have seen an awful lot worse.
Alas it goes down hill from here, the second story is about an operative who disappeared 5 years ago and suddenly reappears being chased by these two dodgy looking men in black. They are aliens and want this mysterious stone that only he knows the location of. Rather dull and nonsensical.
Part three is the worst, I almost didn't think I'd make it to the end. A man is sent into the quarrentined state of Florida in the not to distant future to bring back intelligence on alien time travel. He gets to wrestle a papier mache alligator and do some very silly looking kung-fu. Shudder this is bad.
The final part beings us back to the lovely Miss Rochon and brings in the alien war plot line. Not bad, reasonably complex plot and ok the budget is very limited, but I actually thought it wasn't too bad.
Overall this is a very disjointed film. The middle is so very very bad, and rather unnecessary, but the beginning and end are rather fun. I can't say I'd recommend this, but I have seen an awful lot worse.