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Dorogoy malchik (1975)
Buy me an automatic assault rifle...
It is very very very strange that "Dear boy" has no reviews at all. The place is USA. A mob of gangsters kidnap a dog-food billionaire next of kin, but first by mistake they snatch a young tourist from USSR instead. Two boys, American and Russian, get locked in a trailer somewhere in the wilderness. Gangsters prepare to ask for ransom. Boys become friends, break out and call the police. That's all in a nutshell, if not to consider four songs and music written by D.Tukhmanov (Assault rifle, This old rude world, Life is race, I like to watch the stars). Also perhaps first time in cinema, the movie has comic book installations repeating the story line in comic book style pictures. There is also a big installation of art using different techniques (one is aniline and oil) as Timokhin's strange dream. The release year is 1974, but the movie gives you a strong and fresh feeling of tomorrow cinema, perhaps Kill Bill is something alike. The opening song "Assault rifle" (For what purpose the stars are shining it is not clear, buy me an automatic assault rifle, let everyone stand by the wall shivering and crying, believe me I know the right treatment, no one would speak against it, and if anyone would decide to speak up he will be down immediately, buy me an automatic assault rifle) is played over a music video clip like stream, made very aesthetically and ahead of time, featuring the story beginning and presenting the gangster mob members as comic book heroes. The final song "I like to watch the stars" (I like to watch the night sky, there are stars pouring light, and the world is cloaked in darkness) is played over comic book style boys on Earth planet. The cast features brilliant Soviet Russian actors, no Baltic stars (were frequently invited to play Americans). The "Dear boy" is a very special mix of elite aesthetic cinema, future cinema, action movie, fairy tale, musical, music video, car chase video, making together a grand style cinema, so you wish to revisit it again and again.
Lyogkaya zhizn (1964)
Light, comedy, slice of life.
"Legkaya zhizn" (Easy life) is an example of how propaganda task gave birth to real masterpieces of play cinema in USSR. When I watch this movie I realize that it is propaganda and still I can not deny it is life sized truth to the last word in the last dialogue. To understand the "Lyogkaya zhizn" movie you have first to refer to the common belief that people in USSR lived under totalitarian oppression, working hard in the communist party factories for a bowl of borsch and a ticket to the Red Army Choire concert once in a decade. So, no wonder, some talented people, full of entrepreneurship spirit and business vision, preferred not to pay taxes by running secretly their own private businesses. They also could use their high education they received at no charge in the soviet institutes and universities to build and to promote their own secret officially illegal business empires to guarantee a more happy, more independent, a more free life, where bigger money come to you solely as a result of your own vision, risk, initiative, entrepreneurship, ability to keep things secret and if necessary, to lie, and the clear vision of the flaws and holes in the soviet economy. What makes "Lyogkaya zhizn" so beautiful and all-time movie is that author never argues neither with the alleged totalitarian oppression system nor with secret private entrepreneurship, but goes straight to the core of the problem - a desire for "Easy life" which comes first of all. When you can have everything what money can buy why start your career from the very basic level somewhere in the hick town ? Right and honest question made it possible to make "Lyogkaya zhizn" a light, comedy, slice of real life, with no false or boring place or moment. I re-watch it from time to time, and it must be already 20 or 40 revisits in all. They even put Adam's scull in the opening sequence, dropping a hint, that they don't care a rush about the political or economical questions, at least for 1.5 hour...
Sluchay v kvadrate '36-80' (1982)
A die-but-do movie.
The movie is really "bad", in jokes-are-over style, and is comparable to the "Sole cruise" (Odinochnoe plavanie). The movie core is a die-but-do (Americans say "do-or-die") every-second-costs-life situation. American military sub being on cruise missile launch drills in the outer sea suffers a severe pile malfunction which leads to uncontrolled launch of two nuclear cruise missiles aimed at the USSR mainland. Well, quite a bold premise for the plot, but still tolerable, if to remember historical USAF loosing nukes. Sub's mechanic receives a LD of radiation, goes berserk, and sends mayday despite of commander's no. The mayday is received by Soviet Red Army. An immediate phone talk between Soviet and US commanders ensues. Soviets send a repair crew to the sub, an action that takes a feat of long-range aviation crew, that nearly costs them life. Americans play a double-face game, officially not rejecting help, but in reality trying to deny to Russians the access to the sub by any means. What is an excusable behavior for the military, but greatly overdone, as if a repair crew can steal some secret of the sub's construction or the US crew's Sunday menu or I don't know what. May be they simply don't want to let guests in the sub because they have mess and dust in their living rooms, you know, empty coca cola cans full of stubs lying everywhere around , and no time to clean the rooms. Anyway Americans are very very uncooperative and prefer to lock horns with Russians on every single instance. While the whole thing smells of WWIII. The movie displays lots of Russian and American tech, more Russian, and most important, in action, controlled by very persuasive die-but-do characters on both sides. The movie features a certain research of the psychology of the characters.
Karnavalnaya noch (1956)
Happy New Year comedy, youths VS new boss.
Ryzanov is a master cardsharper. If you want to promote jazz to USSR, give this job to Ryazanov, and he will make it so in his movies, that the only alternative to glowing jazzy number is a "Life on Mars" lecture, the only alternative to gay clown number is pensioner's orchestra, and so on. For this habit of his "Karnavalnaya noch" leaves a bitter aftertaste, like you were double crossed but you can not understand where. For all this con gaming of Ryazanov a main character is made responsible - the new boss in the social culture club. Youths are preparing the cultural program for Happy New Year: songs, dances, numbers. And the new boss has set his task to poke his nose into every point of the program and mostly in the negative and prohibiting way. Finally he comes to conclusion that the program is mostly unacceptable and starts to prepare his own program by inviting quite inappropriate stuff: a scientific lecturer, a pensioner's orchestra, and the like. Youths see that he is going to ruin their Happy New Year and take measures which make the main сomedy of situations part of this movie: the absolutely serious and emotionally cold boss, somewhat nerdy and somewhat old fad, hectic, energetic, inevitable as any newly appointed boss, being tricked and played by youths in the atmosphere of Happpy New Year carnival. Well quite universal comedy situation, if not to pretend to be a social satire. The elements of social satire are thrown in just like you can not but have them, and have no good connection to the major comedy of the movie, quite according to the main hero's motto "And now we need something serious for our program". Bang, and there you are, a 40 minute lecture. Later they made a kind of sequel with the same boss appointed to run a tourist base, and some related characters like same scientific lecturer, the same secretary, same actors, and based it mainly on the social satire, and it was a complete flop that nobody hardly knows about the existence of the sequel. That is a good sigh that the "Karnavalnaya noch"'s message is not a simple sum of plot and action. Anyway an hour and a half of joyful watching and good laughs are guaranteed with "Karnavalnaya noch". The comedy was an instant success in the USSR and remains these days. Enjoy.
Gusarskaya ballada (1962)
Real characters and events.
"Hussar ballad" is based on real events back in year 1812 when Napoleo's army intruded Russia. The real-life prototype of main heroin is Valentina Durova, a "сavalry lady", who really shined in the Russian Army back then. The intrusion of Napoleo into Russia caused a great stir among people of different classes of Russian society towards immediate joining the Russian Army. Back then Russian army was strictly for males, so the feat of Valentina Durova was one of the extremes that illustrates the greatness of people best of all. Nethertheless, Valentina joined the army, and even became famous as a deadly "сavalry lady", and as such she reached the end of war and the defeat of Napoleo in Russia. The movie recreates the original story in style of light musical war comedy, and, it's a cinema after all, a special twist love story. Everything fits very well in this movie : plot, cast (well, finally the main heroin had to be taken for a young cavalry man, as all hussars would do, and still be a lovable main heroine for the deadliest hussar to fall in love with her) , scenery, dialogues ( one and half hour of dialogues are done in verses only, no prose), music, songs, fights, dances, battle scenes... I do value this movie very high for it's special aroma of people's soul highness where love to Russia, love between man and woman, compassion to the fallen enemy are branches growing from one tree. Even secondary characters are real-life, like famous Denis Davydov, a guerrilla leader, patriot and poet. Highly recommended.
Chelovek s bulvara Kaputsinov (1987)
As we dreamed since long, but still can not live up to....
I like the super-task of the "Сinema man" (The man from Cappuchino boulevard), but I never can understand what made them in 1987 (Chrushev is dead) want to clash the cinema and the Church. This seems to make the movie very very lame. Just answer me, when you hit a God-forsaken American town, how often do you meet an evil, carnal Pastor ? Everyone, absolutely everyone in this town, including the bar owner, the Indian Chief, and the local hit-man Black Joe are good people, at least they have good soul strings. Only Church Pastor stands out as pitch black, as absolute evil. You know, I don't like such plain con gaming. Even the world of cinema men has good and bad representatives like Mr.First who features good manners, good and high feelings, gentleness, kindness, and everything good you know about the cinema, and Mr.Second who disseminates violence, low style, fights, perhaps toilet humor, horrors, nudity and sex, and everything bad you know about the cinema. But when it comes to Church you have only one pitch black Jewish evil carnal Pastor who's dream is to rape a lady singing in the bar. Well, even if you tell me that evil, carnal, raping Pastors are as frequent in the USA as Coca-Cola dispensers, this still can not be a reason to bang a traveling cinema man against the Church. Even local hit-man Black Joe turns better than Pastor. What is this ? What thoughts shall this provoke ? The only clue thrown in is Mr. First's song "without rage and mourning for the benefit of the planet Earth as we dreamed since long but still can not live up to our dream". Well, perhaps's that's it. A spoof of the American dream, a mock of the shining city on the hill ? And the evil lustful Pastor is an American Pastor namely and exclusively? Kh-m, you should have warned me, that this gonna be so, eh, particular. The movie was shot in 1987 when we in Russia were going full speed for universal human values, everything was going to be for us so universal, and an evil Pastor in the US could mean only an equally evil Priest on the other side of the pond. Well, were we really supposed to take seriously that cinema is going to save the world ? And all this garnished with carefully choreographed fist fights in the saloon, fighting Indians, and "Lemonade Joe" style story of how a rotten dangerous hole of American town turned into a descent place thanks to the traveling projector ? Strange movie though, with a message buried more deeper than the eventual plot, otherwise with no message at all. Well, as strange and mesmerizing as Irina Fateeva and Spartak Michulin as Indian Chief couple.
Karlson vernulsya (1970)
10 for the book 10 for the cartoon
First of all I should say that the source material - Lindgren's book "Karlson who lives on the roof" was an instant success in the USSR. My childhood friends shared the book gave them many joy and good laughs over the story of Malysh and Karlson as a family reader. So the cartoon creator's super-task was to be at least on par with the book. You have to understand that Soviet movie and cartoon industry had one brilliant rule - no franchise, no serials. So the film director had to create maximum three 20 minutes parts from the source material of one week reader. Which should not replace the book, but rather work well as a teaser to the book, incite kids to read the book by presenting appealing cartoon's impersonifications of main heroes and events - the task which was solved brilliantly. First of all I love the painting: very distinctive intense colorful animated figures over water-color, pastel, air brush backgrounds, create a right world of a kid where the settings are secondary, and figures of papa, mama, brothers, sisters are primary. The family and house atmosphere is recreated so right, that it seems you can feel the street breeze from the wide open window in Malysh room, or the aroma of Freken Bock's freshly cooked buns. Second I love the absolutely persuading characters: busy and tired papa, wishing to avoid messing with kids, loving and hard-working mama, Malysh surrounded by family but still lonely as in desert, Freken Bock, a hired baby-sitter with unrealized aspirations in life, doing baby-siting not because of love to kids, and Karlson, a strange aero-mobile fat-man from outside the human society, and still very sociable, who seems to be the only character interested in peer-to-peer communication with Malysh. Still it is not very clear whether Karslon does this because he is just a jam and sweets addict or because he really cherishes friendship with the kid, but that's an important part of the friendship story. Third I love the dubbing and the dialogues - the supplier of the catchphrases, like Karlson's "And we are larking about some buns here" - a funny catchphrase to hide one's awkwardness, or Freken Bock's "And I go crazy. What a pity." Also the pitch of antagonism between Karslon and Frecken Bock is lowered, and finally Bock gets to like Karlson, because little fat-man hits right with the middle-age lonely woman's soul strings as a "Terrific man in prime of his life". There is no songs in the cartoo, but music is right along with animation and dialogues, just to remember Karlson strolling outside of wardrobe in huge furcoat as the "Vdol to Piterskoi, po Tverskoi Yamskoi" (old Russian song) plays. The Soviet Karlson shall be preferred over any franchise, especially over Hollywood type franchise. Watching the parts you will receive aesthetic pleasure and plunge into the original book world what will stimulate book's reading.
Formula lyubvi (1984)
Illusionist stooge on tour to Russia...
I think it's a movie about Russia. An Italian illusionist and stooge fooling well-to-do people with occult and magic like illusionist tricks, perhaps a copy of modern Copperfield, but with emphasis on occult, spiritualism, however presented as secret knowledge, and finally a businessman, comes on tour to Russia, where he hopes to find lots of rich monkeys who are ready to give their brilliants and money to the mystical stooge, who offers his magic for solving their problems. Has he succeeded ? Watch the movie. The Love formula opens in very simple, everyday things, so trivial as "greatest magician of all times" going in bed with flu and is watched by the village doctor who doesn't give a care about all his "magical" bluff, and softly mocks the "magical" show off, while the police is already on his heels.
Skazka o poteryannom vremeni (1964)
Perhaps the tale of wasted time...
Do you know that every time you waste precious time there is an evil magician somewhere near you sweeping the minutes and hours you loose into his bag ? No ? Curious what evil magicians do with your wasted minutes and hours ? Then watch "The tale of wasted time" and don't be afraid that the time of watching this movie will be wasted. It's a very gently and kindly told story explaining to kids that wasted time is not only forever lost time, but is a food for all sort of misconstruction in social life. A light, fairy tale, using fairy tale language to explain important and serious existential thing (which explaining to kids otherwise would require a tedious and dull notation) movie. I remember this story was influencing me just right when I was a kid. How ? Watch it for incredible story twists.
Troe iz Prostokvashino (1978)
Dull original novel turned into instant success by animators.
It was a strange thing about Uspensky's stories either "Сheburashka" or "Prostokvashino" that in written book form it was a kind of a psychotic adult graphomanic Jew humour pulp for kids, because nobody else gonna read this uneasy reading, but when his books sourced material for cartoons, it became an instant hit. In case with "Prostokvashino" success was reached from the second attempt. The first screening of "Prostokvashino" was cut out figures animation, and was unknown to me until this year 2016. But from the second attempt, when they used different animation style, remade the entire story according to the normal standards of the Soviet comedy, invited famous actors to dub the animals, the cartoon turned an instant hit. Imagine a 7 year old kid and a stray cat leave home, find an abandoned house in a distant village, a stray dog joins them, and they three start their own household. All economic issues are solved easily - they go outside the village, dig the earth and find a hidden treasure chest. A local postman becomes their antagonist. Finally parents get to know the location and take their kid home, while cat and dog stay to look after the house. In further series, mom and dad got to love the village , first dad, then mom, and to make their choice between sea beach and the village. The third part features Happy New year in village. This cartoon features the phenomena of soviet comedy, when you don't have to produce 500 parts like Tom & Jerry, but even 2 last parts can be excessive, because all super-catchphrases (like cat's "how wrong is your sandwich eating, you should turn your sandwich sausage down, for sausage contacts your tongue, that's much more tasty", or mom's "I thought cats are capable only of yelling on trees", or postman's "Why I was angry ? Because I didn't have a bicycle. But when I have a bicycle now I will start to grow much kinder and get a pet.", or dad's "I know you (mom) for a longer time, and this cat I see for the first time", or birds's "Who is there ?") are coming from the first part only, which can be considered as 20 minutes catchphrases concentrate. So first part is sizzling hot, second part is pretty hot, and third part is nicely warm. I can not remember any catchphrase from the third part I would even like to repeat. The general idea of the series is kids need pets and a call for village life. Also nuances of personal relationships are explored with soft kind humour, all time cat's sentence on dog: "Somehow it seems to me that we are feeding this dog in vain". With this message delivered with lots of kindness and humour the "Prostokvashino" series stand out as Soviet urban classics.
Zolushka (1947)
It's very bad for the person to miss the ball....
"It's very bad for a person to miss the ball, when he or she deserves one",- these words of Cinderella's Godmother describe the spirit of this movie. Paraphrasing: "It is very bad for a person to miss a watch of Soviet Cinderella movie, when he or she deserves one". And in order to deserve you shall be ready to open your heart and senses to kindness, gentleness, belief, performed by the best cast of Soviet actors in incredible narration of the world's famous fairy-tale bearing that unique fairy aroma which to me is something close to ecstatic. The moral of out-of-this-world reward for those quiet modest non-pretending loving and hoping laborers like Cinderella is delivered to the spectator with great feeling of kindness which can not be destroyed even by the pranks of the evil Stepmother. An all family must watch, 10 stars for fairy tale and 10 stars for Soviet Cinderella.
Moskva slezam ne verit (1980)
Sounds like propaganda.
Since it has become a good tone with IMDb commentators to analyze propaganda in every Soviet movie, I will start by exposing all propaganda in "Moskva slezam ne verit" (Moscow doesn't believe your tears) with a snap of my fingers. This movie's basic idea was to destroy the 'cavalry attack on Moscow' myth, to show to young persons that one can not trick the big city of Moscow. No matter how manipulative or scheming you are, how strongly you are motivated to quickly hit the jackpot, you will be weighed, measured and given what you actually deserve. And this process first will eat out 15 best years of your life, and then you'll find yourself stuck up to your ears with this mega-police, middle aged, with the initial goal even more distant than it was in the beginning. Moscow protects it's dignity of a city, Moscow will give you many lessons, Moscow will take your life slipping through your fingers as you stare in the eyes of this city without noticing years passing by, Moscow is dumb to your tears, Moscow sorts out grain from straw. "Sadovoe kolzo ( O shaped highway around the historical Moscow) became our wedding ring" sing main heroes in the final song. You can not trick life, you can not trick Moscow, without doing a bad trick to yourself. The propagandist message of this was to keep talented youths back to the cities where they were born.
Korolevstvo krivykh zerkal (1963)
What happens exactly when you crack a can of grandma's jam.
Well, I watched this movie many times so I think I can better explain what it is all about. Olya the girl in the beginning of the movie features her personal weaknesses, or bad habits, or let's call it sins. She is craving for grandma's jam so much, that she discards grandma's word no to touch the jam, and breaks the can as she tries to eat some. Also Olya is recreant, lazy, irresponsible, sweet-tooth to the extent of forgetting about more important things. In other words Olya features a number of bad habits typical for children of her age. And through possession of these bad habits she becomes attracted to the fairy-tale surreal world of "Kingdom of crooked mirrors" which in fact is some kind of anti-world where all inhabitants bear reversed names to be read backwards to understand the true nature of the character. The kingdom is ruled by bizarre and evil characters featuring different animals like Parrot, Adder, Falcon, Toad (all shall be read backwards), and in fact represent a fake and gullish monarch Parrot, and three ruthless, cunning and power loathing tycoons: Toad, Adder and Falcon, who really rule the Kingdom. Played by people dressed and made up accordingly. In order to cement their power over the Kingdom they lean upon what probably should be described as total and systematic lying, or people's mass misinformation, by producing and disseminating only crooked mirrors. For this end they arrested the mirror-maker Friend who refused to produce crooked mirrors. So the CMK world represents where do Olya's weaknesses or bad habits would finally take her if not eradicated timely and properly. During her trip in the Kingdom Olya is accompanied by her mirror twin Yalio, who has no bad habits, but acts accordingly to her age. The main goal is to free the mirror-maker Friend from the Death Tower, which means the end of the Kingdom of Crooked mirrors. Olya has to overcome her own weaknesses and bad habits on her way to the goal, otherwise the ruling of Adder, Falcon, and Toad will never end. It is important to understand that in the USSR production of movies was controlled by Art councils, so the final product is kinda a balance between the movie director and Art council, therefore something resembling propaganda can sometimes be expected. But if you understand the entire story and the plot, you will see that Kingdom is a materialization of one's bad habits taken to the logical absolute to show to kids how important is to take an active and firm position in life and to stick to the truth, that in adult life you will have to take an active position, you will have to distinguish your friends from enemies, and you will have to act accordingly. Well, from the point of view of Adder, Falcon, and Toad this must be a very dangerous propaganda.
Vernye druz'ya (1954)
Heavy artillery, no, Nukes of classic soviet cinema...
Childhood, youth, young age, and finally middle age: main goals in life are achieved, your occupation and social position are clear and you have reached a certain level in life, nothing is going to be changed, the major efforts to prove to the world that you are something are behind, you are surrounded by work colleagues, and you wonder if that's the way your childhood dream got materialized and what is next ? Do you have enough courage to meet now your childhood friends, with whom you used to sail rafts on that little river ? And to see what became of them, and let them see what became of you ? To see how much you drifted away from your childhood self ? The three from "Vernye druzia" did this. A very highly ranking architect, a famous surgeon, and elite horses breeder gonna leave all their adult cares and troubles in the big city and sail again the raft down the river for three weeks of their vacation. You go with them to take part in there adventures and be the witness of their inner change.
Priklyucheniya kapitana Vrungelya (1976)
I was about to miss the classes when AOCV were on TV....
Priklucheniya Kapitana Vrungelya (The adventures of Captain Vrungel) is TV minis released back in the mid 70's in the USSR based on the novel with the same title. It was a number of short parts, with the total time of a full-length play movie, so short, that they put 2 parts on the air daily for about 1-2 weeks, normally during winter or summer school vacations. The original book features an old Sea Captain who's name is Vrungel, what in Russian sounds a lot like noun "vrun" which means a liar, a boaster, a fantasy story teller, so the reader is invited to take the Captain's stories with a grain of salt, and to decide for himself what is truth and what is fantasy. Captain together with his apprentice Lom goes on global yacht race, which is a invitation to the reader to cast a look on the world, to see different countries, meet different nations, and to see how Captain Vrungel makes his way in this crazy, motley, sometimes friendly, sometime not very friendly world. All characters (Captain Vrungel, Apprentice Lom, Fux, Archibald Dendy) were taken from the original book, but the plot in TV series was somewhat modified with a criminal story where global yacht race becomes just an instrument for the international mafia to smuggle a statue from the Royal Museum. Therefore some new characters were added - a British styled super-agent 00X - a hilarious spoof of 007 and Inspector Gadget who constantly looses despite of all his crazy spy tech, and a pair of Italian style gangsters talking to each other in violent fake Italian rants and doing damage to 00X in most fantastic ways. There is lots of absurdity comedy in Gangsters VS 00X episodes, invented by the TV series creators specially to be on par with Captain Vrungel's stories absurdity. The Adventures TV minis instantly became all the rage with Soviet schoolchildren. And one of the reasons for success was ahead of time animation combining in one still: black and white and color videos, cut-out animated figures, non-painted objects like real fire, gun smoke, water, car dashboard, TV, wine bottles, cigar etc. For example a video of ocean becomes a background for cut-out animations of Captain, his yacht, Lom, Fux, etc, painted guns fire with real flame and smoke, water streaming from the painted tap is real non-painted water. Also normal animation is used in some episodes. All painted animations are extremely elaborate and detailed to stand out from the video backgrounds and settings in full realistic effect like real life grotesques. Music and songs (5 hits) are superb. The song performed by gangsters is a brilliant musical spoof of Perry Como's "It's impossible", so "Italian" cheesy, with the verse lines going in fake Italian like "we are banditto, notoriousitto, we are castetto, pistoletto, oh yes, we are shootingtto, stealingtto this or that now and then, oh yes....". Other songs performed by 00X, Fux, Vrungel, Lom are fully original compositions. Captain Vrungel and his friends have to use all their intelligence, quickwittedness, inventiveness, and all actual reserves of fantasy to get through the adventures described in the book and the new ones added by the TV series creators. The series are children friendly, contain no violence or black humour - it was very strict about video productions for children in the USSR - in case you don't mind lots of guns, plugging fingers into 220 V mains, fake Italian swearing, and a nude woman statue.
Aleksandr Nevskiy (1938)
Propaganda means sermon....
I'm wondering how many people first dub the "Alexander Nevsky" a propaganda movie and then go on by telling the historical background so wrong and schematically that no wonder they miss the civilization message of the movie. Back at the times described, Russia was facing 2 threats - from the pagan Mongol hordes and from the Christian Europe represented by Rome. Important thing is that Catholic Rome offered Russia military help against pagans under the condition that Russia faithful to Orthodox Christianity will pledge it's loyalty to Rome, to Pope, and to the Latin heresy. So that was the choice for young Alexander Nevsky and other Russian leaders. And some were gone for Latin heresy and for kissing the Pope's shoe. But not Alexander Nevsky. Russia then was not in the state to overcome the Mongolian hordes and Alexander had to show loyalty to the Mongolian Horde in order to prevent the massive Mongolian forays and overkill of Russian people. However Mongolians didn't require from Russians a turn into paganry. So Alexander refused loyalty to Rome and stood with Orthodox Christian Faith as the only truthful and salvating. If you apply this historical background to the "Alexander Nevsky" movie by Eisenstein you will see that it is a brilliant cinematographic rendition of the realities described above through the story of battle with Teutonic Knights ? I think it takes a master to tell the entire story by retelling only one episode. Is it a propaganda that the historical episodes shout out to one another ? And back in 1938 Soviet Russia was in premonition of German nazi invasion.
Kin-dza-dza! (1986)
Level 100.
I'm really surprised about the commentators referring to "сrappy special effects" in Kin-dza-dza. Are you crazy guys ? Re-watch "Terminator" with all that crappy cheezy stop-motion in bare endosceletone scenes. LEGO brick movies fans shoot the same with a cheap camera. Just think that "сrappy soviet SFX" in Kin-dza-dza uses no stop-motion or scale-down, all Plukan flying tech moves absolutely smoothly and is integrated into the picture completely seamlessly. Compare this to any famous same age sci-fis. Robocop-2 uses stop-motion to animate a scale-down figure of Robocain, and Robocop is a live actor imitating robo-moves inside a costume. And in Kin-dza-dza you see all fantastic Plukan flying tech like real-time real-size (no scale down, no stop-motion) moving objects integrated into the picture seamlessly. So please, just don't confuse the minimalistic design of Plukan starcrafts which is an important part of the scenario with poor rendition of SFX in this movie. Plukan tech is minimalistic dirty rusty crappy looking squeaking - it was deliberately planned so by the movie makers and conveys some ideas.
Serebristaya pyl (1953)
Must see for anyone looking into how American political system works.
"Serebristaya pyl" (Silver powder) is a brilliant Soviet rendition of a novel "Jackalls" written by the Estonian writer. The search for "wunderwaffe" never stopped since the guns of the WWII ceased to fire, and continued in the labs of the mighty American military industrial complex, not without help of nazi scientists who preferred rather to work for yankees than be hanged in Nurnberg. The movie shows the fantastic abilities of the military science, the messianic ambitions of the American elites, the greed and corruption of the top ranks, the certain strings which help the elites to cement and rule the American society, the strange twists of the popular mind, disregard of ethics when ethics become an obstacle in the way to the coveted goal, all packed into a thrilling edge-of-the-seat political sci-fi detective. A brilliant invention by the American scientist of a highly effective radioactive poison which self-decomposes and becomes harmless in just several days after military deployment in the enemy's territory gives a start to a cut-throat competition between two large Wall-Street corporations or trusts wishing to appear as the invention owners. All means go and no ethics are observed.
TASS upolnomochen zayavit... (1984)
Cult and table top must have
"TASS is authorized to declare" is TV series story created 99% from real events which really did took place in USSR during Brezhnev. CIA managed to recruit an officer working in one of the secret departments of the Soviet Ministry of Foreign affairs, so American intelligence starts to receive highly secret classified information about Soviet international activities directly from the top of the table in the highest cabinets of the Soviet MFA. Quite soon Soviets start indirectly to feel a leak judging by the American government behavior and take active measures to detect who is the mole. The TV series show a big game of the Soviet intelligence VS American intelligence in detail, the characters on both sides brilliantly played by top Soviet and foreign actors, the tactics and strategies of the intelligencies, and the political situation in the world determined by the civilizational clash between the Russian world and the Americanized world. If you are into a good political detective, this is a must watch.
Priklyucheniya Elektronika (1979)
Cult
To avoid retelling the movie. This is Soviet "Terminator". Or it is how they would film a "Terminator" in the Soviet Union back in 1980. Soviet professor creates an intelligent machine - human flesh on exosceleton, blah-blah-blah... Model "Electronic". Soviet Terminator looks like a subtle blonde six-grader boy. Electronic's abilities or functions are vast and absolutely amazing. But old Soviet Professor dug a bit deeper in his research than probably it was expected by the Communist party, and the cyborg he created received a very strange bug - a need to become a human. A little bit embarrassed by the robot's behaviour Professor looses contact with his creation, and cyborg leaves Professor alone for new and unknown world of humans (remember Short Circuit, it was also demonstrated in the USSR in the late 80's, however Johny 5 is an awkward box of steel on caterpillars armed with laser). Very soon Electronic meets a boy who looks absolutely like him - Professor recreated Electronic's body and face from a real six-grader's poster in the kid's magazine. As long as human prototype understands all benefits of having a cyborg twin, he starts to use it to full. Electronic does his homework, goes to school instead of him, and finally replaces the human prototype in the family. The teachers, the family, and Electronic himself are happy, еspecially Electronic - he became human by taking social functions of a real human. But the human prototype who's name btw is Sergey Syroezhkin, becomes outcast in the society and in his own family. Sergey finally understands his pitiful situation, because Electronic exceeds him in everything and therefore is much more appealing to the teachers, to the classmates and to the family than a lazy laidback careless entertainment-loving Sergey. Sergey decides to open the truth to the society. Electronic agrees that taking social functions of a human have not made cyborg a human. However the story doesn't end, and Electronic is smuggled by international gangster mob planning to take advantage of Soviet robot's supefunctions for crime. Mob's boss Stump send his hit-man Urrie to USSR to bring Electronic to gangster headquarters as he believes Electronic is a machine controlled by knobs and switches. Urrie brings Electronic and explaines to Stump that Electronic is unbelievably more sophisticated creation, so "he has no knob" (a catchphrase throughout the USSR). Old snake Stump uses double-face behaviour to persuade Electronic to help gangsters to rob a museum aka "get the pictures from the hands of greedy people and transfer to the hands of honest people". Electronic agrees - his naivity and readiness to believe are limited only by the ability to learn.
2012: Doomsday (2008)
Maya Indians knew about the greenback emissions ?
"2012" movie. Yes it is. Only one remark. Maya Indians knew about the greenback emissions ? Man, they have scheduled the end of the world on the 21st of December 2012 ! By strange coincidence on the the 21st of December 2012 expires the 99 year rent of money printing machines of the US Mint by FRS from the US government (1913). Oh, these Maya... 15 trillion debt, world full of green toilet paper with no golden reserves, goods, or services to cover, line of wars waged with one aim - not to let the financial pyramid fall, thousands of murdered civilians overseas, nation brainwashed with the war on terrorism, NDDA act, military dictatorship pending...
The authors of the movie obviously wanted to say "People, it's not the end of the world, things could be much worse, like boarding on archs for 1 000 000 000 000 Euro a ticket". Pray until it is too late !
Chuzhie (2008)
Grymov is Dostoevsky in cinema
"Strangers" to whom, to what ? It's easy to shut the issue up by calling "The strangers" (Chuzhie) by Russian Director Yuri Grumov a piece of Russian Anti-American propaganda. But is it really ? The message the movie delivers sounds rather like "Sin estranges people one from another" than "Americans are daemons". The movie title means first of all "strangers to each other". It's a moralistic research journey into the world of relationships between humans united on the mission with the motto "America must act !". If you would like to know what is it like I would compare this work to the "The Island" with Di Caprio. Corrupt human relations ruin life even in the paradise (The Island), and even on the noble mission (The Strangers). But "The Strangers" go a bit further in exposing the decease: when sin becomes a norm (like relationship of gay doctors) and is no more treated as sin then truth leaves the place, noble doing looses sense, aggression turns against the weakest, charity becomes hypocritical, family is destroyed. The grotesque portrayal of US team members serves not propagandistic aims, but helps to reveal the message which is universal in any nation. They are not caricatures, but pure types. We know that pure types rarely exist in real life. Same is applied to the Russians (de-miner squad) who appear just in several short episodes, the only aim of which is to create the contrast, and to show what a real human relationship should be. It's quite universal. I agree that this movie will hardly be appreciated in the West, nobody likes to recognize himself in grotesque, but it will come very useful to a Russian spectator who has to face the influence of Western culture stereotypes every day. Yuri Grymov has done work worth of Fyodor Dostoevsky. A very pure, very responsible, work with a great sympathy to the truth. Drunk and speaking one-liners Russian commissars from "RAMBO" and the stuff, shall not be brought forth as the justification of "The Strangers". "The Strangers" is not in any way a revenge for the goofy or evil Russian characters in the cold war era blockbusters. It's a serious work that sources it's inspiration in the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky and Orthodox Christianity. If you want a Russian spoof of RAMBO please watch "The sole cruise" (Odinochnoe plavanie). If you still feel offended, think rather of "Gulag Archipelago". It would be a just cultural exchange. Very probably Yuri Grymov made only one mistake calling Americans Americans and Russians Russians. But if he cloaked the story in the fantasy names (like Orks and Hobbyts) would it spare the movie from the Russian anti-American propaganda charges ? But how to speak on the problem then ? Our strangers are lost to the truth in their own understanding of what truth is. American Jesus has little to do with real Jesus. I've heard this several times from Americans. So, after all, that makes me believe "The Strangers" have some chance with the American audience.
Ty - mne, ya - tebe (1977)
Scracth my back and I will scratch yours
How do you think, who is he ? Can you guess by his appearance ? Famous actor ? Music star ? Professor ? Ambassador ? Minister ? He looks like he is all them at once. Cigar. Expensive sunglasses. Suit. Diplomat case in his hand. He is a sauna man in Moscow. And he has got a talent, God's spark, for his quite trivial job, that makes him top famous in Moscow. Moscow cream de la cream: diplomats, ministers, actors, big wigs que up and book weeks ahead for one hour of his working soap, coconut fiber, hands, and bath besom over their bodies tired by intellectual work. I bet, on Earth such career rises are possible only in Moscow, but there is a reverse side as well. Of course, all those famous and mighty people try to maintain a friendly relationship with him, and surely they are ready to render him a service on the occasion. "Scracth my back and I will scratch yours" (the very apt movie's title) - the life philosophy accepted among the successful and well-to-do people of his circle becomes the hero's guide in life and opens for him all doors in the mega-police. An ended up child of post-modernism, having Orthodox icons in his flat neighboring with the pictures from the light magazines, he is ready to deliver his opinion on almost every subject from the labourist policy in England to the Russian football system. He enjoys the life of Moscow dandy. But suddenly, his glamorous life ideals get harshly trialed as he gets involved in the action that takes place in his native country village far away from Moscow. His twin brother who works fish protection inspector suddenly falls ill during the fish spawning season, and calls him with the emergency telegram to the country to replace him for a week. They are twins, and the appearance of the twin of the fish inspector on the river during the fish spawning season should keep the poachers off. In this situation our hero's philosophy "scratch my back and I will scratch yours" turns detrimental for the river, for the fish, for the justice, and for the hero's relationship: instead of cracking down on the poachers he makes a "scratch my back and I will scratch yours" treaty with them. And instead of whipping the ass of the director of the local factory that severely pollutes the river he makes a bargain with him allowing the factory to continue the pollutant discharge. All this ends up with an ecological catastrophe and a crash of his relationship with the love of his youth who was wating for him for many years in the country. However a crash of the ill philosophy is rather a blessing than a tragedy. Repenting, our hero changes, makes a spontaneous fight against the gang of the malicious poachers, dramatically looses, but finally wins it with the God's help. Brilliant cast, brilliant stars, well-paced psychological drama-comedy with the elements of satire. Give it 8 of 10.
5 Days of War (2011)
Old circus horse can not be taught new tricks.
The author made a try to persuade us of the documentary nature of his movie while he failed even to abide by the rules of the political thriller genre. Old circus horse can not be taught new tricks. When you go to film a "based on comics" flick don't say you have produced a documentary. When you watch the picture you feel it almost physically how a Rambo mold invisibly haunts the movie and you want to exclaim: "Stop that trash, release the Rambo, and let us at least have some fun.". Still fun is enclosed: war time love story is intervowen with the plot which will give food for an excellent computer game. This movie really rocks sending authentic messages which however unfortunately have nothing to deal with the things the author tries to show on the screen. The first one is - money is everything. The second one - we want to see it this way no matter what it really was. The third one - action motion pictures with bad and good guys are candies which are much sweeter than real life. Just imagine an army consisting of sadists. An army of sadists. Every soldier in this army is a sadist. A sadist army is opposed by the army of saints. This is how the Russian and Georgian armies are portrayed in "5 days of august". OK. We will try hard not to remember about the US soldiers deeds in Abu-Graib prison in Iraq. We will try hard to erase from our memory Vietnamese villages burnt out with napalm, forests defoliated with agent orange, children without skin, tortured Vietnamese partisans, etc. Even if Senator McCain will try not to let us forget it very quickly. Sure we will forget about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Forever. And of course we will not make any generalizations from a single case. Agreed we understand that any army can have a number of people with hidden sadistic inclinations, which remain sleeping until they break out in crucial war situations. But that normally is a sad, tragic exclusion rather than a rule that characterizes the entire army. The movie authors so sincerely neglect this simple truth that the movie therefore lacks only one thing - those comics style "Pow" and "Bang" subtitles when Russian rockets hit a Georgian wedding. BTW, it's a very strange way of living out a guilt complex. Actually it was an Afghani wedding and an American helicopter, and the country was Afghanistan, not Georgia. US chopper crew took Afghani wedding for Al-Kaeda warriors. Sad. But it's war, it's people's factor. The answer is given in the titles before the movie - there stands in black and white: Based on the actual events. On the actual events torn from time, place, and nationality and dressed up in the Russian army uniform. The American helicopter cracking down on Afghani wedding transforms into Russian helicopter destroying Georgian wedding. Dr. Goebbels smokes nervously in the corner. Violating the primary human right for objective information this cinematic work becomes highly cynical with regard to real life. I think it would be a deed of honesty if movie producers openly classify their work as "fairy tale" or "sci-fi", recognizing that they have honestly fulfilled Georgian government order for creating of a national myth, a legend, which has nothing to do with reality and truth. Russians say "Fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it, a lesson for a good guy". OK, let Georgian good guys learn to hate Russia from Hollywood made fairy-tales, and let's see whether these lessons will do them good in a historical perspective. As always Hollywood shows very nice and expensive visual effects. Especially when you realize that they were made for Georgian money and every blast of propane gas is paid from the pocket of the Georgian tax payer. Still visual effects is the best investment of money in all this work. I'm not surprised that Hollywood produces something like "5 days of august". They have a hand in it. There are people who would pay for such kind of music. They say we were here when it happened and we know well how it happened and what really happened here we know very well too, but we hope that Hollywood stars would help the Georgian point of view on the conflict to become dominant in the world. Why not ? But. Politicians may play games, but people are getting brainwashed, left living in the illusionary world where many things that take place in the real world simply don't exist. For example, you will never know about Orthodox Church temple where people of Tskhinval were hiding from Georgian raid burnt with all who were inside. Burnt by Georgian soldiers. You will never know about Georgian soldier yelling "yoo-hoo" and filming with his mobile phone camera as he worked his machine gun over the civilian houses. You will never know about a pregnant woman who was running for the Temple and was shot halfway by Georgian soldiers. You will never know about 80 year old eminent Georgian film maker, a live classic of Georgian cinema, who had to escape to Russia from Saakashvili's prosecution, just because he is too eminent and he doesn't agree with all russophobia of Georgian regime. You will never know that Russian troops and fleet started moving only when Georgians shelled and rocketed civilians of Tskhinval. You will never know about demolition of the monument to Russian and Georgian soldiers fighting shoulder to shoulder against Hitler. All this was left outside the camera still in order not to deviate from the emotional tune. Emotions ! Message ! Pathos ! The three whales of this tale. The most gruesome thing about this movie is that author violates even the basic rules of the political thriller and overwrites the history. What makes him do this, I do not know, may be he watched too many early Nazi movies. "Divide it by 16" as Russians say.
Semnadtsat mgnoveniy vesny (1973)
Final song....
Joke about 17 moments of spring ? OK...
Beer garden in Germany... There is a queue on the bar stand: Mueller, Shellenberg, Iceman... Shtirlitz runs into the bar, and instead of lining up behind Iceman, he stands before Mueller and gets his beer from under his nose.
Mueller: What's up Shtirlitz ? There's a line there. Shtirlits: Soviet Union Heroes (a State award and title in the Soviet Union) are served out of turn !!! (a rule existed in Soviet Union, a privilege to the people honored with high State awards)
Another...
Shtirlitz wakes up after a good beer party with a hangover and tries to remember who he actually is ? An obergruppenfuehrer SS Shtirlitz or Russian spy Isaev ? The door opens and a doctor comes in: "Good time you had yesterday, comrade Tikhonov (the actual family name of the actor)".