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The Dick Van Dyke Show: My Mother Can Beat Up My Father (1964)
This Episode Sure Hasn't Aged Well
Rob, who's usually such a sweetheart on the show, lets his wounded ego turn him into a jerk. He keeps acting like Laura has done something wrong. And he sets a lousy example for his son by picking a fight with his wife.
What the writers should have done was have Rob fixate on learning judo so that he can better protect his family. It would have been funny to see him on a dojo, feeling intimidated by all these martial arts masters. Dick Van Dyke could have done some wonderful physical comedy with martial arts gear.
It would have also been nice if Rob was more contrite in the hospital, admitting that it was his own stupidly that got him there.
A Cozy Christmas Inn (2022)
What Was Hallmark Thinking?
If you're gonna do a sequel to a romance (Christmas Under Wraps), then don't throw away the previous romance like a broken toaster! Apparently, Lauren quickly forgot her own story arc, and took a fellowship at a hospital in the big city. And the guy sold his plane -- a crucial means of transportation between the remote town and the outside world -- to become the innkeeper in a town that's rarely visited.
If Hallmark really wanted to return to Garland, they should have gone the Evergreen route by introducing new characters to have a romance. Instead, David O'Donnell just trades in one Full House sister for another.
Big Sky River: The Bridal Path (2023)
Lots of Drama
Hallmark has convinced me that a wedding is the final obstacle before marriage.
This movie actually shows that blending a family can be difficult. Hallmark usually has the kids become instant friends and accept the stepparent before the original parent does.
It's hard to sympathize with teenage angst. Erin spent a lot of time sulking about a comment her dad made. And her tantrum when her friend got busted was totally out of line.
Griffin retreads the first movie's plot of him not wanting his dad to get married.
Did Boone really not think to text his fiancé or one of the kids that he had to go deal with a highway accident? Given how quickly his fiance forgives him, I wonder what the point of that sequence was.
I've not read the books, but the redhead felt like a shoehorned cameo in the first movie. In the second, her subplot is so unrelated to the blended family, that it should have just been its own movie.
Dream Moms (2023)
Good Premise
The story is about two talented women who failed to pass Broadway auditions when they were young. So, they moved on to focus on family and job. Two decades later, they get a second chance when they partner up for an American Idol type of show. One mother has an arc of learning that it's okay to be a little selfish. The other has an arc of learning to accept help from others.
The Caucasian brunette, Claire, is a single mom working hard to support two sons. When the older one (who really needs a haircut) started giving her attitude, I wanted to smack him. And the movie failed to have him apologize to her in person.
I liked Claire's love interest. The character is just a really good guy.
I wasn't expecting this competition to have only two rounds. The host's name is a hilarious nod, though.
Betty's Bad Luck in Love (2024)
Had Me Laughing
It's a fun, fresh idea: A woman who's convinced that she's a bad luck charm for any man she dates. Between this and her job as a risk analyst, she has become a nervous wreck. And it's hilarious!
In real life, would the guy be too scared off to give her any more chances? Probably! But this is one allowance I'll make for a romantic comedy.
Even though I guessed that the movie would go for that late plot twist with Eleni, I'm still glad it did. I think it was the only mature direction to take the story.
My only big complaint: Isn't men and women playing rugby together a huge no-no? I mean, it's a full contact sport. And men are bigger and physically stronger than women. That's just a fact.
Legend of the Lost Locket (2024)
Another Good Entry from Hallmark
The protagonist is an English antiques dealer who visits a small American town in search for the other half of a legendary locket. Surprisingly, the movie turned out to be a cross between romantic comedy and crime mystery.
This movie is something new and refreshing from Hallmark. And it's an excellent way to kill 80 minutes. The content is clean, and it never dips into political agenda.
However, the prologue scene is of two lovers in Regency England. It feels melodramatic, with the quality of acting. Just endure these two minutes, and the movie jumps to the present, which has better acting.
Fair warning, early in the movie, there's a jarring scene where the protagonist does something really stupid. You're left wondering, "What was she thinking?!" In real life, the consequences might have been worse.
I've liked Viv Leacock ever since the Hailey Dean Mysteries. In Legend of the Lost Locket, his character is overall likable. But there are a couple scenes where I wish the screenwriter had made him softer, more willing to listen.
Still, I definitely recommend this movie.
Falling in Love in Niagara (2024)
Lots of Good, With a Few Bones to Pick
The plotline is typical Hallmark. And it mostly works. Plus, the early bickering is funny.
But I took issue with a few things. For one, why should she expect a "Thank you" for dropping a dirty coin in his drink? For another, she really crosses the idiot line when she gets engaged again. Thirdly, I guess that one couple was going for semi-elopement? Or is that how things are normally done at Niagara Falls?
The Falls themselves are beautiful, of course. And I didn't realize there was so much tourist stuff to do there.
But, really, with a little tweaking, the story didn't even need the ex-fiance.
Wedding of a Lifetime (2022)
Almost Nailed It!
It's a funny premise: A couple that's been engaged for ten years has lost the spark in their relationship, though they still care for each other as best friends. They mutually agree to split up. They go to tell their families, but receive the nationally televised surprise of being entered into a competition for engaged couples, with the prize of an all-expenses paid wedding. The two protagonists decide to go on and compete a few rounds, thereby having some fun while getting some much-needed publicity for their business dreams. You can guess what happens in the process.
Comedy is there, but I wish they had dialed it up to an eleven. Also, the first 13 minutes of the movie are depressing, showing the two unhappy protagonists. It should have been trimmed down to like 5 minutes. Finally, the scene of him yelling at her was base-breaking. An upset character can still use an indoor voice, and make at least some effort to not be a total jerk about it. His lame apology later didn't satisfy me.
My Secret Valentine (2018)
Lacey Plays a Jerk This Time
I was fine with the scene amidst the wine barrels, where she made it clear to him that she was no pushover. After that, though, she just comes off as a prejudiced jerk, determined to hate him for no reason. He goes the extra mile to get to know the business and befriend the people. His company makes a generous offer. And he never uses dishonesty or underhanded tactics to steal the vineyard. The real problem is the father and daughter's failure to communicate. It's unfair of her to blame Seth for it. And she never apologizes for misjudging him.
I also didn't like that they resorted to dishonesty to get that restaurant owner to buy two cases.
Sweeter Than Chocolate (2023)
A Well-Done Drama, But Heads Up
One of the other reviewers called it depressing. I call it hopeful. It's about healing from grief, and overcoming one's fears to take that leap of faith. Eloise Mumford is an excellent actress. She was also great in "The Presence of Love."
I really like that the late conflict of the movie wasn't some forced misunderstanding between the leads, or really any problem between them. It was about her needing to overcome her fear, and him needing to decide what he wants.
The middle of the movie features a lot of couples talking about love. This is a heads-up that two of the couples are gay, and one of them kisses.
Wedding Season (2023)
Four Major Gripes
I actually liked the tone, premise, and flow of the movie. And it was interesting to see the female lead be platonic best friends with one of the grooms, without giving his fiance any cause for worry. But the movie was ruined by four mistakes:
The first bride wore something hideous on her head.
The second couple chose their careers over each other. That's a tragedy! If you're gonna have them cancel their wedding, make it because they realized they're not right for each other. Basically, make us want them to come to that conclusion. Wedding Bells handled that better.
It would have been great to see more of the third couple's reconciliation.
And the late-movie conflict felt forced. Why can't he just take one last trip, finally fulfill his dream of photographing the Southern Lights, and THEN settle down with her? For that matter, as a magazine writer who emails her articles, why can't she just go with him to Australia?
My Summer Prince (2016)
Contrived Problem, No Realistic Consequences
If Mandy had just told the truth up front, everything would have gone much smoother. She needlessly dug herself into this pit. And we're supposed to feel bad when her lies catch up to her? The realistic outcome is that she'd be totally fired, and he'd never want to see her again.
Also, can a small-town sheriff really keep the crown prince of a foreign nation in jail? At what point would diplomatic immunity come in, and that nation's ambassador get involved? For the sake of international relations, the sheriff would be pressured to release him pretty quickly.
Mandy's relationship to her mother and sister was a potential plot thread that never get much attention.
Love's Greek to Me (2023)
Not So Bad, But Could Have Been Better
The way that the mom hijacked the toast and made it about herself is a huge red flag of narcissism.
Other reviewers claimed that this is a movie about a woman giving everything up for her man. But here are some important points:
I like that Ilana didn't go the whole movie putting up with Momzilla's nonsense. It didn't take her long to put her foot down and refuse to budge.
Ilana also brought a bit of American culture into the family. Not just with the maid of honor stuff, but also with encouraging Alex to be more independent. (I don't know real Greek culture. I'm just going by the context of the world within the movie.)
I think the screenwriter's intention was that the ending was the perfect win-win solution, and Ilana was just needed to get out of her own way. She, herself, said that she wanted to do more fieldwork, and what better place than GREECE?! And her fiance just wanted to stay for a couple years, to reconnect with his roots and help his mom's business through the transition. He never said, "I want to spend the rest of our lives here."
The biggest problem is that both the male lead and his mother tell Ilana that she is too distant, noncommittal, and closed off. But, if we don't get to SEE her acting that way throughout the movie, then it comes off as gaslighting. Also, if Mikale felt that she was noncommittal, then why did he propose to her?
An Ice Palace Romance (2023)
Not a Christmas Movie
It's set at Christmastime in Michigan. But, really, the story could just as easily have happened during the summer in Arizona. It's about an indoor ice rink.
I liked the two leads. But the antagonist was an arrogant jerk in a movie that didn't even need a villain. It would have been more interesting if he was a kindhearted developer who simply had a different viewpoint than the rink owner.
Come to think of it, I would like to have seen more ice-skating, less drama outside the rink. The movie should have really focused on the protagonist overcoming her past, finding new purpose in the ice, and saving the rink.
Rescuing Christmas (2023)
Clever Concept
A jaded, stressed out woman wants a break from all the festivities and obligations of Christmas. In a moment of fury, she wishes for it to all just go away. The next morning, she wakes up to find that all the Christmas decorations in town are gone, and nobody except her has any memory of the holiday. She then scrambles to revive Christmas.
It's a funny idea -- having the protagonist reintroduce Christmas to her family and to the town, and they point out how absurd the holiday traditions sound.
The male love interest is very likable in this movie. And the actor playing jolly old Saint Nick did an excellent job.
The Gift of Peace (2022)
Good Religious Values
This isn't your typical Hallmark fluff. But it's not as heavy and draining as some drama about domestic abuse or poverty. "The Gift of Peace" is a serious story of grief, but also an optimistic story of healing. The protagonist is a widow who joins a small support group at a church. The others have also lost loved ones, through either death or estrangement. But they help each other move forward with a brightness of hope.
Nikki Deloach is an excellent actress. She can be comedic in movies like "You Cast a Spell on Me." And she can pull off serious drama like in this movie. Likewise, I was impressed with Brennan Elliot -- he goes to an emotional place that I don't think I've seen him go to before.
I'm glad that, as of 2022, Hallmark was still willing to produce movies that feature prayer, faith in God, religious carols, and quoting scripture.
#Xmas (2022)
Trying Too Much
You can have a light, fluffy movie about a fake couple trying to get extra subscribers on social media. In the process, they genuinely do fall in love. But, as liberating as it is to come clean, it would have been realistic to see more consequences in today's cancel culture.
When Jen confesses onstage, I wasn't expecting Max to storm off in a huff. I was thinking he'd be proud of her for being honest, and would stay to provide emotional support through the inevitable fallout.
Jen's story of self-loathing, stemming from her father's death and an absentee, narcissistic mother, belongs in a separate movie -- a very serious drama.
Christmas at the Golden Dragon (2022)
Excellent!
I really like it when a movie has a large cast with multiple interweaving storylines.
In Christmas at the Golden Dragon, you've got an ethnically diverse cast. White, Black, Latino, Chinese, and Jewish characters are all part of the fun. And their central hub is a Chinese family restaurant that's always been open on Christmas.
The Chinese daughter, Romy, has a plot thread. Her younger brother has a plot thread. A Latino boy has a plot thread. A divorced father has a plot thread. And a brown-haired Caucasian woman has a plot thread.
The movie is clean and feel-good. I look forward to showing it to my parents.
Before You Say 'I Do' (2009)
The Very Premise Isn't Good
The groom should have realized earlier that she was too much of a psychological mess to get married.
Time travel comedies can be a lot of fun. But the idea that you need to go back in time to fix a relationship problem isn't relatable. It would be better if the female lead worked on healing from the pain of her past, so that she can have a future with a man who's been nothing but good to her. THAT's more relatable and empowering.
Some really far-fetched stuff happens in the past -- far-fetched in the sense that people with common sense don't really do these things.
And if the wicked groom wants to marry her so bad, then why is he also determined to cheat?
A Christmas Tree Grows in Colorado (2020)
Don't Take Him Back!
Believe me, I wanted to like this movie. But the male lead, Kevin, is too much of a jerk. It would be one thing if the tree was hugely sentimental to him. But he's just sulking because the town cut back the fire department's budget. Yes, that stinks, but a city doesn't have endless funds. What his dad pointed out to him was something he should have realized much earlier in the movie. Or Erin or his fireman buddy should have explained it to him.
This guy keeps waving red flags, and his hostility to Erin and her dad got ridiculous. In years to come, she can expect him to show the same cynical pattern of assuming the worst in people.
Also, having an argument lead to a whirlwind kiss is just too cliched, cheesy, and unrealistic, even for Hallmark.
Five Star Christmas (2020)
Good Family Movie
Funny premise with interesting characters. And I thought it was touching when Amber watched the video of her mom and her toddler self. If the mom died 15 years ago, then Amber must have been only 5 or 6.
For the late conflict, am I the only one who feels like Lucy was totally in the wrong? It was pretty rich of her to get upset about his lack of honesty. Perhaps he should have recused himself for getting involved with the innkeeper's daughter, but she sure overreacted by saying their relationship was built on a lie. At the end, when a character apologizes for something, I think it's incomplete unless they also explain what they did wrong and why. The Elvis callback was great, though.
Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas (2018)
Late Conflict Was Silly
Offering help to someone doesn't mean you don't believe in them! Lee should have worded his offer better. Make it sound less likely charity and more like a business proposition of investing. But his heart was in the right place. Cara and her dad were being oversensitive, and Cara angrily gaslighting Lee wasn't cool.
Besides that, the movie is fine. The two leads have a nice series of repeated run-ins while on a road trip. But, in the song at the end, you can tell that they're lip synching.
This is the first installment of the "Time to Come Home for Christmas" series. Each movie is a standalone story. But there are small hints of a shared universe. For example, Stone Bridge's jam makes Easter egg appearances in "Time for YOU" and "Time for HIM."
Love, Fall & Order (2019)
The Aunt is Antagonistic
I get that her business is suffering, and she needs more land. And, yes, her dutiful nephew finds a document giving her a legal claim. But why didn't they try talking to Claire's dad before hitting him with a lawsuit? They could have worked things out without stirring up ill feelings.
The law may technically be on your side. But just trying to rip away generational prized land like that is still a jerk move.
Aunt Margie looks especially greedy when she goes digging through more documents, ruining the compromise that the two leads were working out. And to do that just after Claire's dad got injured!
The Wedding Veil Inspiration (2023)
A Few Tweaks Short of Greatness
I don't mind the spider storyline. Nor do I mind the B couple.
But I feel bad for Paulo. He gets caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to support the family business while keeping his marriage intact. And he goes the extra mile, by arranging the pizza delivery and the Skype date. Yet Emma still becomes resentful of him. It wasn't fair of her to just say that he was choosing his family over her, when she was the one who wouldn't wake up and realize that taking a permanent teaching post in Italy would be a win-win for everyone. I wish she had apologized to Paolo in the end.
Also, the boss should have been straight with her front the get-go. It's not a university head's job to play mind games and go all Mr. Miyagj on her successor.
M*A*S*H: Peace on Us (1978)
Misdirected Anger
This episode is definitely one of the worst of the pacifist propaganda. I'm glad Charles called out Hawkeye on this holier-than-thou grumbling.
Why does Hawkeye spew so much resentment at the UN brass and delegates? It's not their fault that North Korea invaded and won't let up! Does HE want to try negotiating with communist zealots?
The episode would have worked better for me if Hawkeye directed all his anger at the North Korean / Chinese side. If they would just give up the peninsula, he could go home!
Having Margaret kick down the door was a nice, dramatic touch. And I like her run-in with Hawkeye, where they're both fuming over their own problems.