Reviews
Carry-On (2024)
Ugh.
Why is all the writing so bad these days? Like - we exist, as people, in the same universe. Surely we can ALL see that nobody actually talks like that? In this constant heavy handed, subtext-free gibberish?
I love Christmas movies. I love action movies. I've seen a couple blend the two brilliantly (Die Hard, Violent Night) and some not so brilliantly (Die Hard 2 - which this film seems to be an almost direct rip-off from). This is a terrible, almost hallmark-level imitation of these and I can't really fathom how.
The cast for this thing is so good, so strong - I'll watch Bateman in almost anything. Taron largely pedals this type of tripe, or something Oscar-Baiting, but after his excellent turn in the very strong Blackbird - I was at least open to it. Chuck the criminally underrated and underused Dean Norris into the equation, and I'm sold. I wish I'd been more discerning, the opening sequences with Taron and his lady friend were nauseatingly poorly written. Not even derivative, it was like AI.
I feel a bit let down and like I've wasted my time, but this is Netflix - if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.
This is basically what they do now, isn't it? Ripley was a superb anomaly, but an anomaly nonetheless - anything even vaguely intelligent or original seems to be snapped up by HBO, Disney et al. Netflix is edging closer in quality and tone to the type of nonsense Apple TV seem to throw out with a seemingly bottomless bank balance, only without as much money.
A Man on the Inside (2024)
Closer to Ted Lasso than Barry and that's definitely a bad thing.
Yeah, not for me this.
AMAZING cast. Big fan of every player top to bottom, and when I saw Schur was behind it I chose to lean into recalling his superior work (99, parks and rec) rather than his lesser stuff before giving it a go. When Netflix included 'sharp dialogue' in the 3-word descriptor, I was sold.
But despite all that, it's completely, almost appallingly unoriginal and pedestrian and unapologetically cheesy. Obviously there's a massive audience for this type of fare in these trying times, hence Ted Lasso winning bucket loads of Emmys despite being about as funny as a tumour - and I very much do not count myself among the target audience for these types of show.
The documentary on which this claims to be based is a brilliantly singular film about a man going undercover to expose elderly abuse. This is like Ted Lasso - heavy handed, insincere and pretty hack in the joke-stakes.
It's watchable, but so were the alien abduction documentaries. If this takes off like Lasso did, I'll have lost even more faith in the viewing public than I already have. I hate that more shows are meh than not now, and you can add this to that list.
Investigation Alien (2024)
I now have a lot less respect for the Peabody awards, knowing George Knapp is a recipient.
Now, don't get me wrong - as an avid viewer of practically every Netflix 'documentary', it's fair to say the standard is uneven and I've got zero problem with Netflix diversifying their portfolio to include History channel-level fare. Evidently, there's an audience for it. A big one.
But THIS is nonsense to the point of being irresponsible. George Knapp is an utterly insufferable onscreen presence, he can't help but talk in heavy handed cliches. He's so deeply insincere and cringeworthy, he arguably made me even MORE of a skeptic.
I'm open to anything, but THIS type of rubbish is why most people believe anybody claiming to have engaged with extraterrestrial life is a gullible idiot fantasist. Maybe that's the point? I doubt it - but this over-egging makes it impossible to take this even remotely seriously, and listing it as a documentary is deeply misleading. And George Knapp is an insincere and tedious conman who should have his journalistic credentials confiscated, beginning with his Peabody award (seriously, HOW?! Was it an inside joke to bestow something on the dumbest person in the business?)
If you're just looking for a new, good documentary - don't waste your time. This is not a documentary. Like Jersey Shore meets Mars Attacks. Avoid.
The Manhattan Alien Abduction (2024)
Wherever you land on this issue, this is a fascinating docuseries.
A lot more intelligently done than it has any right to be, given the subject matter.
I'm a skeptic in every possible sense of the word, to the extent that it's arguably been a detriment to my life in some ways - and I absolutely wouldn't say I've been convinced of the existence of aliens after watching this series. If anything - it indicates to me at least that even your average person is, in theory, capable of convincing anyone of anything.
And yet - it's so pragmatically well-made, so even-handed and balanced, I can't help but have questions. Yes, Linda strikes me and probably anyone with common sense as fame-hungry and maybe prone to deceit, but look at how she's living - this isn't the life of someone riding off the riches of a lifelong con, this is someone who sincerely believes this happened to her. And honestly - I'm open to it.
Rivals (2024)
Perilously close to trash, but overall pretty fun.
It's a pretty perfect modern-day adaptation of a Jilly Cooper book. That's almost a compliment, and that's entirely down to the excellent cast & some occasionally cracking writing.
That being said - writing-wise, the dialogue becomes noticeably clunkier around the episode 5 mark. I don't know if that's a change in scribe or a team of writers running out of steam alongside a pretty ambitious production, but it's jarring.
But like any Cooper work in any form, it was always going to stray near to soapy tonally and the fact it largely doesn't is genuinely impressive - but it IS ridiculous.
A good laugh and a nice break from bingeing heavy crime dramas - but not a classic.
Megalopolis (2024)
I can't believe he made The Godfather.
What IS this?!
Obviously Coppola, for his prime 1970's oeuvre, is rightly regarded as one of the absolute goats of film direction - and no amount of trash he's turned out since can detract from what he HAS given us, which is more than one of the finest films ever made.
But this is a car crash. I don't know where to start - the acting, the visuals, the writing, the pacing - it's just all so off. It's such a shame, but it's hard to call it a missed opportunity when it's been so long in the making. I guess like Biden, maybe there should be a cap on age for competence when it comes to leading anything.
Don't see it. It's not good, and not even bad enough to be enjoyable.
The Sopranos (1999)
Possibly the best piece of live action entertainment ever created.
It took me until 2024 to get around to watching the greatest thing I've ever seen. So many different visual art forms have carried that title at some time or another throughout my life, from documentary (Up series) to sitcom (The Office UK) to drama (Our Friends In the North) to film (the elephant man) and everything in between. All landmark, excellent shows - yet they all dwarf in comparison to the singular, almost-biblical level masterpiece that is The Sopranos.
I've seen the plaudits in spades for the sopranos over the decades and I'm ashamed to say that despite being a feverish imbiber of most premium entertainment, I actively dodged it for the same reason I initially avoided Breaking Bad (2023. I know) and Scarface (2022. I KNOW.)
It's impossible to single out a best performance. It's almost like watching the greatest documentary ever, everyone is so real and every word is utterly precious but treated with the throwaway glibness of Python. It's staggering, really. I've rewatched it front-to-back 5 times since already. Still not bored. About to start again.
If you're like me and swerve things with a lot of hype (sometimes we're right - Ted Lasso remains a thief of my time and irritation), I urge you to get over that for this. It's just - wow. 11/10.
Ludwig (2024)
Calm down, it's fine.
The cast is stacked, but also with some glaringly hammy weak spots (Sophie Willan is honestly dreadful) - but the old hands are effortlessly good as always and elevate a fairly pedestrian script to a fun, enjoyable series.
But the writing is really off. The puzzle and crime-solving scenes are clever if not massively original, but all the human interactions feel very forced and a little amateurish - and are exposed as such in the hands of less qualified cast members (Willan, for one).
I was excited for this, and wouldn't say I was disappointed - but it's not as intelligent or as original as the leads and advertising would have you believe.
Mr. McMahon (2024)
An excellent documentary series.
As a kid, I hated WWE when everyone else my age was utterly entranced by it. I was a sickly, eccentric dork (still am, in truth) and I just found the machismo and hamfisted 'fakery' impossible to connect with - and if I'm honest, culturally, being a child, I found it a little bit scary. It crept into the playgrounds - I definitely took a few beatings from people imitating Stone Cold or The Undertaker, and as an active non-viewer of wrestling, those beatings and the merch everyone seemed to have were my entire frame of reference of WWE - and I deeply disliked it.
I often felt like an outcast as a kid, and often got things wrong trying to 'fit in', but having now watched this fantastic series, it seems my adolescent instincts around WWE were right on the money.
The extent of the sleaze and underhand tactics rife within wrestling normalised under McMahon's stewardship is simultaneously shocking and utterly unsurprising. The entire time, he was hiding in plain sight - and it's a damning indictment of the susceptibility of many people to manipulation and PR.
The way it's told, however - it's sensational without being sensationalistic. It's articulate without being condescending, and insightful in a way which wouldn't have been possible had this documentary been released at the time of filming - and the extraordinary good fortune to get a lot of legitimate criticism of & striking candour from the pro-wrestling industry at large is both prescient and enthralling.
Despite the relative deep dive, it still feels like just the tip of the iceberg - and I doubt we'll ever know the full extent of McMahon's malignance. But wow, what an awesomely fascinating world he built.
Only Murders in the Building: The Stunt Man (2024)
Paul Rudd's Irish accent is unforgivably poor.
I like this show. I dodged it for a while as I tend to with most shows or movies subject to a heavy handed advertising campaign - but it's decent, it's funny.
This episode, though - I mean, it was fine but as someone hailing from the British isles, Paul Rudd's attempt at an 'oirish' accent was so abominably poor it spoilt the entire 30+ minutes irretrievably.
Americans can't do most non-American accents, so please stop letting them try. There are so many world class actors from Ireland and Britain in Hollywood. Stop letting people without the ability 'have a stab', because it doesn't just alienate the audiences in 4 entire countries - it also massively undermines the suspension of disbelief.
I do like this show, but it's not one I'm itching from week to week for the next episode. Just drop them in bulk like The Bear and stop pretending you're at the same level as Succession.
Nightsleeper (2024)
Entertaining but naff.
It's hard to work out who this is made for - most of our (Brit) tv written in broad strokes tends to be catering primarily for success in America, but they already have their own (far superior) action/thriller series' in abundance. So seriously; who IS this for?
It's entertaining enough, but the dialogue feels like it was written by AI. As if it's an approximation of how people talk, it's so stilted it's cringeworthy. It would barely make a decent film, so to pad it out to six hours feels like a further waste of taxpayer money. I guess at least this wasn't thrown at a paedophile newsreader.
The actors make a good stab at it and it's paced decently - but it's rubbish. Almost being forced to sit through a play written by a friend who's never left the house.
Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter (2024)
The best Netflix true crimer for a while.
Wow. I mean, what else can you say really? What a story, brilliantly told. Catherine is a beautiful soul - the word inspiration doesn't do her justice.
I can't believe I'd never even heard about this before - I'll always give a new Netflix true crime doc a watch, but they're of such wildly varying quality it almost borders on the guilty pleasure. This one was different, and all the more impressive for it.
Gripping like a thriller, paced like a mystery - packs a punch like a tear-jerker. It's the best one they've turned out over under the red N for a long time - and maybe the best singular true crime documentary since The Jinx.
The Perfect Couple (2024)
An excellent cast doth not an excellent series make.
Ugh. I'm getting sick of these now, if I'm honest - the second golden age of TV seems to have died with the end of Succession.
I don't know which concerns me more - the fact that networks are falling over themselves to race into the red just to fund the latest glorified soap, or the normalisation of seeing once credible, classy and seemingly selective actors demean themselves over. And over. And over again.
I mean - what MUST the budget have been for this thing?! I can't get my head around something of such low quality creatively attracting such big-hitter talent. Whatever happened to integrity? Does a multi-millionaire movie star really need another multi-million, only for us to have to suffer the end result?
Nicole Kidman. Liev Schreiber. In THAT load of sub-pulp nonsense. That's worse than beneath them - it's false advertising.
Don't waste your time on this when there's so much good stuff out there with less known but equally capable performers.
Colin from Accounts (2022)
The definitive romantic comedy for people who hate romantic comedies.
When did Australia become THE international hotbed for sublime new content?! Late Night With The Devil, Talk To Me and now Colin From Accounts. All brilliant, all completely original.
I simply cannot get enough of this show. As someone who typically detests the standard heavy-handed, unfunny fare masquerading as 'romantic comedy' these days, Colin from accounts is a lot more than just a breath of fresh air - it's THE best comedy in the world right now. (The Bear is not a comedy.)
Everything is handled with a warmth, lightness of touch & devastating hilarity not seen at this high a standard since the office (UK). There's truly nothing else quite like it on television, and that's because you can tell not one iota of the show has been left to chance.
Top to bottom, this is the best thing going. Skewering the ridiculousness of several generations with a razor sharp eye, it's more than lovely - it's brave. At a time where people are afraid to even mention these social black spots, Brammall & Dyer go after them with a relish & wit otherwise unseen in anything else on TV right now.
And then, there's the romance. As a deeply cynical, serially-heartbroken misery guts, this show confounded every expectation. The way the (actually married) pair shine such a blaring light upon their own neuroses & shortcomings is a testament to both their world class talent as writers, and the enduring power of their evidently deep real-life love and respect for each other. It makes me feel a little more OK about being on my own, and the vitality of sharing your life with the right person - and how that's worth the wait and obstacles when you find it.
It really should be cleaning up at the Emmys and BAFTA's as well as the Logies. I can't wait for the next season, but I'm dreading the almost-inevitable and monstrously sanitised American remake. For now though - thank you, Australia. Keep up the excellent work, show the rest of us how it's supposed to be done.
A Patch of Fog (2015)
A Criminally underrated, wonderfully acted thriller
Wow. I don't know which I'm more puzzled by - the low rating here, or the fact that A Patch Of Fog wasn't the biggest British film since The Kings Speech.
Conleth Hill is sensational here. I mean, he pretty much always is - arguably the most chameleonic actor to emerge from all of Europe since Day-Lewis, but this is next level. Definitely a case of him and the equally mesmeric & consistent Stephen Graham pushing each other to raise their games - and thankfully, the material they're both working with is absolutely stellar.
I can't wait to see more from Michael Lennox, truly a filmmaker of vision and depth. Bravo.
Safe (2018)
Harlan Coben suuuuuuuuuuuucks
Awful, criminally overrated writing. Farcical, illogical plot. Abysmally inaccurate dialogue (seriously English people don't say 'she's seeing this guy'. Or 'mom.' Ugh.)
Netflix, man. What is there game? Even baby reindeer was kinda cheesy. I don't like what's happening to TV.
Also - stop letting American actors do English accents. They patently can't. They don't have enough exposure to it, whereas we have theirs rammed down our throats. Pretty much everyone I know can do a passable Yankee accent - but I'm yet to meet any average American who can do even a recognisable accent English one, so evidently it's a thing.
Don't waste your time. I love a good thriller series, but Michael C Hall only makes trash, Harlan Coben only writes garbage.
SpongeBob SquarePants (1999)
Seasons 1-3 and the movie rank among the greatest comedy series of all time. After that it's entirely a kids show.
I truly think every single episode of seasons 1-3 of SpongeBob is a comedic masterpiece. Steven Hillenburg was a true genius and the show suffered deeply creatively after his departure, at least in terms of enjoyment for adults. It's a shame his wish to finish it after the first movie didn't resonate with the powers that be, because it would've been perfect.
That being said, I'm not a parent and I'm sure it's continued and exponential success is entirely down to its appeal to kids. Fair play, at least unlike the Simpsons it was always broadly speaking a children's program. But as a purist? When it was good, it was right up there WITH the Simpsons at its peak. I just wish there was more of the gold.
Presumed Innocent (2024)
Entertaining nonsense.
I mean - it LOOKS very nice and the performances are deeply committed and occasionally very impressive (particularly Peter Sarsgard), plus undeniably entertaining - but what a load of absolute nonsense, from beginning to end (ESPECIALLY the end.)
I won't get into specifics or spoilers, but I will say this (and with zero judgement) - literally all AppleTV series are appealing to a very specific demographic, and that's people who don't necessarily want to think. Ted Lasso, Defending Jacob, The Morning Show - all heavy handed to the point of borderline amateurism but undeniably lovely to look at and clearly expensively made. You can go ahead and add this to that list.
Entertaining but long and more than a little silly. If you've time to kill and want a good thriller series; there are so many better than this.
The Office (2001)
The greatest sitcom of all time. A masterpiece.
Nothing else measures up. The lightness of touch & absolutely faultless dedication to the mockumentary format are enough to measure it with the absolute greats, but then the heart and knee-bucklingly hilarious humour lifts this into another dimension.
It's perfect. Nothing else the participants has gone onto can even measure up, many of whom have gone onto bigger (if not better) things, and yet in 2024 - it feels criminally under seen. To think this was THE mainstream scripted comedy sensation of my youth and now, to most - it's an afterthought to the funny but massively inferior US remake. That blows my mind, but also reinforces its status as a true work of art.
It's only 14 episodes. If you've been putting it off because you don't like Gervais or find Freeman over cast these days, or just haven't gotten around to it - I implore you to make the time.
Hitler and the Nazis: Evil on Trial (2024)
This feels like America trying to overstate their heroism and involvement in early world war 2
Why make an American journalist the CENTRAL character in a story about the atrocities of the nazis? I personally find that outrageous to the point of being offensive. I mean, the ignorance. The arrogance. Dwelling more on an American journalists diaries getting through customs than the Battle of Britain? Spare me, and shame on you.
Also, even as a barely history fan - the target audience for this thing further enhances my belief that the younger generation are profoundly, wilfully ignorant. How can something about the most extraordinary, harrowing period in modern history feel as though it's been made for children? Just bizarre.
I suppose it probably functions well as an introduction - and some interesting insights, but absolutely nothing new and shamefully watered-down and Americanised.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
I'm deeply cynical about any film that has such an aggressive promo campaign,
Rubbish. Pointless. A shameless cash grab upon the die hard fans of the original.
Let's be honest - only the first, original ghostbusters is ANY good. Ramis must be spinning in his grave at what these chancers have done to his legacy.
People need to start being more critically minded because the exact same pattern (relentless instagram adverts) occurred with the absolute DUDS that were Frosted and If. Stop wasting your money on something they're barraging you with. I only heard about late night with the devil through word of mouth and that's the best new film I've seen in over a decade.
Don't waste your time or your money on this absolute tripe.
BlackBerry (2023)
Criminally underrated, underseen masterpiece.
Wow. Easily the best narrative film about tech since the social network. Glenn Howerton proving pretty definitively that he's one of the world's great actors. Matt Johnson is a genius auteur. Jay Baruchel...I mean, wow. What a performance.
I'll never understand how this was entirely overlooked for any awards. If the Oscar's didn't have such a preoccupation with campaigning and rewarding actors for a career with an award for a weak performance (Brad Pitt), Glenn Howerton would be polishing his (first) best supporting actor trophy.
Funny, heartbreaking, real. Pretty much everything I look for in a movie, and then some. Watch it, tell your friends to watch it - it's fantastic.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
The finest horror film for 30 years.
Wow, I mean - where to begin? A world class, audaciously original & perfectly executed slice of period horror. My favourite original release since Silence of the lambs.
David Dastmalchian. There aren't enough superlatives to describe THAT performance. The seemingly go-to 'creepy-looking' medium-player in big budget classics appeared to have slid into typecasting, but then he delivers one of the decades great film performances completely out of left field. Simply, it's incredible. I was in absolute awe when I wasn't entirely swept away. An outstanding performance on its own merits - truly already seminal in the horror genre.
That being said, as spectacular as Dastmalchian is, it's a testament to the sheer quality of the rest of the ensemble that he never outshines or upstages them - and to think that beyond DD, they're practically ALL Australian - just; I mean, that's beyond impressive. What an extraordinary talent pool that country seems to be enjoying.
As an idea, as a style - it's the greatest of its example I've ever seen. The Cairnes' have made a lifelong fanatic out of me with this genius contribution to an oft critically overlooked genre. If there's any justice (and there never is), they'd be making room for a couple of Oscar's for original screenplay and production design. I hope enough people see this to make that possible.
Bravo to all involved. The first time I can remember being so enraptured by a film, I forgot I was watching one. Certainly the first in a very long time.
See it.
Finding Jack Charlton (2020)
Possibly my favourite sports film ever.
A beautifully realised tribute to one of the absolute greats of English football - and yet in tandem, the most heartbreaking representation of dementia since Florian Zeller's 'The Father'.
They don't make footballers - or, frankly, people - like Jackie Charlton anymore. In a world of spineless, pandering yes people lapping up the kool aid, Jack Charlton was more than a breath of fresh air - he was an essential presence with an unmatched charisma in the world of sport. Losing Jack Charlton (and, for similar reasons - Shane MacGowan) almost feels like an ascension of the unique greats the rest of us conformist mortals aren't privy to.
Watch this film. Even if you don't know about football, or who Jack Charlton is.
After struggling throughout to remember his own most iconic milestones - The moment he recognised Paul McGrath is one of the single most beautiful instances ever captured on film.
Maestro (2023)
Bradley Cooper is an incredible actor but I feel like he has awful taste in movies.
Another Oscar season, another Bradley Cooper helmed-and-fronted passion project. This is probably his best yet. That's really not saying much.
His performance is really quite fantastic. Mulligan, too. But who cares? This feels like an attempt at a warts-and-all biopic, but done without any innovation or imagination - but with the bum-aching runtime. About as by-the-numbers as you could hope to get in a modern film. It might as well be called 'Oscar bait.'
Bradley Cooper is undeniably a very talented, charismatic & hard-working guy, and I have zero doubt that he's not many years off of receiving the academy award he so clearly desperately wants - but on the evidence so far, it won't be for a good film.