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Three: Shlosha (2018)
Danger ahead
An innocent desire to experiment leads to unforeseen circumstances. Pip Brignall lookalike Udi is a reluctant participant in a threesome suggested by his partner Nimrod. The lust interest Or is an attractive hunk but, as we see later after the art show, amoral.
Unfortunately the overnight scenes of the three lads together were totally unconvincing and shot with a sense of prim decorum. This attempt at sensuality fell completely flat as it was clear that, in reality, none of the lads had any chemistry with each other.
The most real part of the film were the awkward moments leading up to the rumpy pumpy; the conversation about small talk was well done.
The threesome led to deception. Will it lead to more?
We're left with a question. Do Udi and Nimrod get through this? Udi's quizzical state at Or as he leaves the vernissage is equivocal.
Volg mij (2015)
Pretentious
First of all, the music. Soaring violins, luscious cellos, soft pizzicato. It was just so unsuitable for this film that was extremely lightweight.
This is lust and late-teen obsession. We cannot be sure if Jasper actually made out with his teacher or whether the scenes of them together were in his imagination. Either way, it's rather disturbing and shouldn't be dealt with privately.
The leads were attractive but didn't have anything to get their teeth into. Impressionistic glimpses of what was or might have been weren't sufficient to grip the viewer.
This wasn't a short to switch off in frustration but it left an empty feeling of having been cheated in some way alongside a feeling of unease at the dreadful orchestral score.
This is not one I can recommend, I'm afraid.
Les Oubliettes (2023)
Switched off
Not only switched off but deleted forever, never to return. I know that this is the age of five-minute attention spans but six episodes of twelve minutes each containing a load of nonsense was never going to cut it for me.
I hated the introduction before the fateful interview. I'm a cat lover and the pet cat getting run over put me off from the start.
How does this sort of nonsense ever get commissioned? And then how does it get through quality control? In fact, how come the people pitching the idea aren't thrown out on their ears for having the temerity to propose such a dismal programme?
Please, don't waste your time.
Homo's Voetballen Niet (2019)
Something missing
What was missing was any chemistry between the two leads. They were both unconvincing, whether from poor acting or a simple failure to gel together.
Dad wasn't much better although his part was written in such a way as to make him not credible. It just seemed odd that a beer-swilling old soak was the coach of a football team.
It's a theme that needed to be better handled than it was in this film. Clearly the budget was minimal and the actors inexperienced. Even so, the director could and should have got more out of the cast and the script.
I'm not kicking myself for having watched but it could have been far more polished.
En El Mismo Equipo (2014)
Worth a watch.
Emmanuel has a problem. He's gay and plays for a macho rugby team. He's out to one of his teammates, hunky, gorgeous Alejandro who seems to be bisexual. Emmanuel isn't. Their on-off affair doesn't help seeing as Alejandro is both open and casual.
Emmanuel's immersed in a hetero world hearing slurs about gays at home and in the locker room. Worse, it's a part of everyday conversation amongst the crowd he hangs out with.
His little sister isn't stupid. She shows him the way out.
There's such a difference between the provinces and cosmopolitan Buenos Aires. I've seen this theme in several Argentinian films.
This short leaves a way forward to our imaginations. I'm pretty optimistic about Emmanuel's future though.
Recommended.
La fièvre (2024)
Not for the plebs
Does the title sound elitist? It's meant to. The series was densely packed with argument and dialogue that would sail over the heads of most people. I think most of society could not understand the concepts here let alone the crisis management and its vocabulary. After I left social work, I managed international projects for a large market research company. I understand the difference therefore between qualitative and quantitative surveys. I bet most of any audience wouldn't have a clue, for example.
The series was a fast-paced study of how an intelligent élite manipulates public opinion in different areas and various ways. Crisis management is another word for directing opinions. Most people are completely unaware that it's happening to them. Conscious and unconscious bias mixed with bots and shady influencers makes for a dangerous and volatile mix.
At times the expositions and speeches that sought to change opinions were mawkish but unfortunately that's the level we're at with five-minute attention spans.
It's exaggerated in many ways and the line drawn between the goodies (playing it fair) and the baddies (using underhand methods) was a bit laboured at times but I enjoyed it all.
There's a semi cliffhanger at the end so I hope for another season.
Kenedi se zeni (2007)
Somewhat awkward
Kenedi hasn't lost a certain bashfulness despite being the star of other documentaries previously. It's endearing in a way that he has this sort of vulnerability set against his completely brittle and mercenary side.
I've seen this sort of lad hundreds of times, living as I do in North Africa where the mentality is similar. Bereft of feelings but hot-to-trot with either sex, all is subsumed into a burning ambition to get to where the streets are paved with gold. They really believe that. Try telling them that they'll either be on the streets or living ten to a room and the answer will come back that they have a friend of a friend of a friend who's living in a palace.
And that's the problem for Kenedi. What's he going to do when his paramour tires of him? Exploitation lies ahead, as it already did in the past.
The film explores these themes in a deft way and with some humour. But the darker side is always there. Who's profiting from whom? And where does the path to supposed riches really lead?
It's a sad film in the end especially when one imagines there are millions of guys (and some girls) prepared to take the same path out to what will lead to misery.
Home Jacking (2024)
Just not right
The whole premiss of this series was awry. Impossible things happened. Someone stabbed in the stomach twice somehow got away from a house deep in the countryside. Arrested by the cops "the next day" for something else, the gendarmes didn't apparently ask who'd stabbed him.
The siblings, become ace detectives and burglars, are a comic book pastiche of every cliché the writers must have thought of, feisty Maghrebi sister and dopey Moroccan brother.
The denouement, reminiscent of the plot of "Stolen Face" is just so absurd that I laughed out loud.
We are left to contemplate if it all unravels with the arrival of the neophyte gendarme. For some reason, I hope so and that the four main characters go to gaol for a very long time.
Netuno (2017)
Netuno
I clicked through to this from a link that told me the film was Pluto. That was wrong, I saw a film called Netuno.
I am horrified to see that this concoction was made by the same guy who'd made the fabulous "Dry Wind". This was a huge disappointment. Even if I'd known about this, I don't think it would have changed my opinion. Nor would it have stopped me simply giving up 6 minutes before the end.
The film was a hodgepodge of parting glances, silly situations, discreet longings, possibly imaginary hook-ups... and stultifying boredom. There was no dialogue until a minute before I flicked out.
My advice is not to start which would waste one's time.
Negociador (2023)
Pretty poor
The scenarios are unbelievable, the characters wouldn't last two minutes in any real intervention squad and the murder investigation was just stupid. One example, that Freitas never looked for supplementary footage outside of the police station was just ludicrous. Menck found it within seconds.
The hostage situations were unbelievable and overwrought. We know from the news that Sao Paulo is a hotbed of crime, but it's yobbish crime, not kidnappers or hostage takers.
Coincidences abounded. What a stroke of luck the "Negotiator" had a doggie with him on one assignment.
As for the murder, Jesus, I'd guessed the assassin in episode four. I had to plough through four more episodes to get it confirmed. And when it was made clear, we were subjected to a massive cliffhanger meaning another season of this tosh is on its way.
Yes, I watched it all but I'd recommend not starting.
Août (2017)
The closet
Well, Louis was bi-curious but remained firmly in the closet in the end. Or was he? He didn't seem to have a sexual relationship with Roxanne, either. Indeed, he seemed rather asexual and was not actively pursuing anyone at the party.
I don't buy the theory that he was being a flirt and a tease. Jeremy was making the running and Louis was interested. That's what I read into his expression.
The closet is a horrible place to struggle out of when you're a teen. Jeremy had succeeded but Louis was having problems.
The moment if truth dawned. Jeremy came on far too heavily. Well, they're kids after all so who would expect subtlety? Louis skittered away. I think he'll be back.
Tensión sexual, Volumen 1: Volátil (2012)
Ultimately sterile
When I downloaded this I hadn't realised that I'd already seen it years ago. I didn't care more for it this time round especially in the context of having seen much more of Berger's work since.
He's a one-theme director. The theme is straight boys dancing towards a possible hook up together. This worked in The Blond One because the guys actually did get it on together. Here, and in films subsequent to El Rubio, the build up was either too long (The Astronaut Lovers) or simply not believable (Horseplay). So it was here. In the end, nothing happened in any of the films. They didn't engender tension but frustration in the viewer.
Some of the guys were hot such as the tattooist. Others far less so, particularly the two guys in the last film.
After the third film, I fast forwarded. I don't regret having done so. The two guys in the shower was particularly poor. The film just stopped. I mean, it was just two straight guys sharing limited hot water. I didn't get it.
Not a success and not a collection I'd recommend.
Never Let Me Go (2022)
Marred by poor acting
This was a thinly disguised autobiography of the life of Bruno Rodriguez. It wasn't convincing unfortunately. The acting was amateur at best and some of the foreign players were pretty dire.
The storyline was chaotic. It was never explained who the budding hoodlums were and what they were doing with the guy in the car park. What was any cast member doing with a gun anyway? And not just one, but I counted five separate pistols.
Yes, as a descent into the hell of cocaine dependency this chimed. Those with addictive personalities will fall. The film's ending was darker than real life though.
I think the factual information about addiction and suicide tacked onto the credits was a mistake. The film should have stood on its own merits.
I watched straight through and didn't fast forward but found the film to have been maddeningly bereft of potential. I can't recommend it.
Bird in Hand (2022)
PC
A very good-looking guy compulsively steals from hook-ups, sometimes leaving them high and dry before the act. The film explores the consequences of one of these thefts and purports to show a moral sea change in attitude. I'm not convinced. The return of an object seems grafted on as a feelgood ending as does the scene of the two monogamous lovers walking along in serene happiness.
Leopards don't change their spots. I don't believe that getting caught out upended the thief's moral compass or lack of one.
I've given four stars meaning the short is just not particularly good or engaging. It's just a will-o'-the-wisp to while away a few minutes but says nothing profound.
Mirrors (2015)
Very good short
This short film had so much going for it notably the two male leads. They were a couple of regular-looking, straight-acting lads. No prissy effeminacy here or pretending to be butch. They were ordinary guys in a lavatory cubicle.
Even though they were supposed to be straight, they were clearly interested in each other. The mirror sorted the initial contact out for them. But, the hetero rules have to be obeyed. This was absolutely spot on, language, gestures, bragging, all leading up to trying gayness out.
This film expertly packed in straight boys figuratively dancing towards a hook up in a few minutes. The Astronaut Lovers by Marco Berger that I watched a few days ago had the same theme but bored the pants off me with its endless dialogue. Berger should have watched this film to see how it's done.
In the meantime, we saw other slices of life in the mirror or in the cubicles including a couple of guys who didn't hang about.
I strongly recommend this film.
Hallo Janine (1939)
Just wonderful
I'd seen the film years ago but recently I was listening to Musik Musik Musik on my phone and a friend asked me if I liked Nazi music. This necessitated a long discussion about how international the film actually was, how there was no propaganda in it, how Rökk was almost certainly a very brave spy for the communists during the war just as Zarah Leander had been. Unlike the Swedish diva Rökk socialised with the upper echelons of the Nazi party passing on indiscretions from Goebbels himself.
Once that was out of the way, I could talk about the film itself, its hoary plot which nonetheless convinced, the hummable songs, the fabulous sets, the synchronised dancing and singing. It's a fanatastic spectacle.
This is worth a revival even in this day and age. I'd watch it again in an instant.
El intercambio (2023)
Witless fantasy
Please don't swallow the synopsis that was presumably written by the production company. This is so far from a voyage of discovery as is possible to get.
It's an imaginary tale touching on gender swapping both physically and mentally. The two male leads were attractive, the female one less so. It seemed pretty clear that Lucas fancied Mateo like crazy and didn't need his transition to get it on with him.
As a tale of whimsy it worked on a certain level but ultimately fell flat, even when the denouement happened with Mateo hinting he'd give Lucas's request a thought.
I don't resent the time I spent on the film, but I wasn't really impressed.
Groomsday (2022)
For goodness sake
Why can't alleged actors learn to speak instead of mumbling? I couldn't catch half of the dialogue on my phone. In the end I gave up and fast forwarded. I'm not sorry about this for a second. I saw what I expected to see and nothing would have been gained by ploughing through the 8 minutes I missed out on.
Who was the make-up "artist"? When I first saw a still of the film I'd thought it was about vampires. Whoever it was, they need to go on a retraining right now before they inadvertently inspire mirth instead of horror in another film.
Don't people go on honeymoon after getting married? Why were they walking hand in hand on a rough street? The paucity of veracity added to the simpering story just put me off completely.
No way can this be recommended.
Les corneilles blanches (2023)
Well worth the running time
This was well acted and a great story. Liokha was just perfect with his nasty, sneering face and speech and Vlad was excellent as the closeted boy pretending to be straight. The other members of the gang played their toxic parts to a tee as well. As a glimpse of what many young men get up to it was a convincing and revolting sight.
Even more, the scenario resonated on my own life - hiding, prevaricating, avoiding. I've been in a similar situation to that of Vlad and my "Anna" also covered up for me.
I could only find a version with either French or German subtitles (the dialogue is in Russian). I speak both languages but my preference is French and the subs were well translated into the sort of language a bunch of raucous lads might speak.
I'm glad I watched this and recommend it.
Los amantes astronautas (2024)
Horrendously boring
{EDIT: I haven't reported the people who deleted my review to IMDb, but I shall do if it gets taken down again. Just because you disagree with an opinion doesn't mean you can delete a review}
I put up with this inconsequential rubbish for forty minutes. I clicked to have a look at how much more of the film there was to go and realised I would never be able to stand it for another seventy minutes more and flicked out.
The two leads were attractive but the shadow boxing around whether they'd get it on or not grated after a while. Teasing and barbed, clever small talk just started to get on my nerves.
Another problem was that there was so much dialogue that the subtitles flashed up for such a short time per sentence that I had to concentrate on them and not on the action or the characters on the screen. I speak and understand some Spanish but this was beyond me.
So, I have no idea if the two lads got it on together and I don't care.
Marco Berget is become a cliché of himself. I loved The Blond One but since then his output has been zilch that's interesting. I actually wondered if the actors were embarrassed about having to speak these dreadful lines.
Don't waste your time.
Juliet (2023)
Watchable but forgettable
The strongest impression that remains in my head from this series is just how ghastly teenage children are. The actresses playing Juliet's niece Chloë and the teenage Juliet were excellent at portraying brattish, entitled youngsters. They did it so well that I reminded myself of how lucky I am not to have kids.
The inheritance story and the quest for Juliet's brother were also well woven into the fabric of the series. In fact, the whole show was lopsided with the actual murders and investigations registering far less in my mind than the human interest strands. That's not to say the former weren't up to scratch, just that the intricacies of the protagonists' lives were more impressive.
I watched the whole series within a day and a half. It's certainly has something going for it, especially the setting of a prosperous, Flemish, coastal town. I would still recommend seeing this.
Sebastian (2024)
Real life fictionalised
Well, I've never used a sex worker in London so had no idea about the huge sums of money to be earned. £300 an hour! That's serious money. No wonder the impoverished students who formed the basis of Max's initial research got into the trade.
Max's odyssey through the world of escorts engendered tensions. He was earning huge sums while using the clients for his novel but also beginning to form relationships with some of them.
Max developed personally too in a different way. His initial reluctance to be known disappeared as we saw in the very last line of dialogue in the film.
I found the characters in the film to have been well rounded and believable. The script was well written and captured the world Max was living in extremely well.
I'm glad I saw this.
Den som dræber - Fanget af mørket (2019)
Watched all four
I've seen all the seasons now and I think two and four were the best. However, I have a huge quibble about some of the translations of the subtitles. The text refers to "gangbangers" when it should have referred to "gang members". The former term has a different, pejorative mesning. This drove me mad. And the translator made the common mistake of translating the Danish or Swedish "Hej" as "Hey" instead of "Hi". One more gripe. The font of the subtitles was too small and they should have been white or yellow, not grey-white.
But the plots? Overwrought obviously as it's a cop drama but convincing and interesting. As each series progressed one wanted to know the result. Yes, characters take unnecessary risks or miss clues but come on, it has to last eight episodes. And I guess real-life cops screw up as well.
Overall, worth watching.
O Senador (2024)
Just dreadful
Quite apart from postulating a novel concept of Brazilian inheritance law and ignoring that fifty per cent of all assets **have** to go to the spouse and children and showing us a new method of police investigation wherein no forensic evidence is taken and suspects aren't swabbed for gunshot residue, we are subjected to a plot so absurd in its denouement and progression as to make the mind stupified.
At the same time the cast of "actors" (if that's the right name for them) ham along to their parts either amateurishly or histrionically. Not a single one of these people has their photo on IMDb and I'm not surprised because on this showing they are unlikely to ever be hired again by the film industry.
The budget for this effort must have been minimal. The newsroom was a cubbyhole, for instance.
Why did I give two stars? Well, I got to the end. And I have to admit I like listening to Brazilian Portuguese which is so much easier to follow than the European version.
As for any of the actors being "hot", that's a fantasy of someone's imagination. The gay guys here were screechy and effeminate having a hard time bothering to pretend to have feelings for their lovers in the triangle.
This was a dismal mess that would have been better remaining in someone's head. Don't waste your time.
Farha (2021)
Numb
As an advocate of the Palestinian cause for decades, I needed no convincing. I didn't need a documentary or history lesson. What I got was a compelling story of a family and the village they lived in during the time of the Nakba. It was all the more engaging for essentially being a true story passed down the generations by "Farha" herself.
It's rare that I sit watching the credits at the end of a film. I did so stunned and halfway through the flood of bitter tears came. Tears at the ruination of Farha's life and that of millions of others, tears at the way Palestine was dispossessed, tears at the destruction of a settled culture and traditions to make way for invaders.
I can't imagine how this tale could have been better acted, directed or told. I've visited the camps in Syria where Farha ended up and I know that Palestine is engraved on the hearts of everyone there. I long for the day that they can return.
Please watch this film.