Karl Self

This might be the most overly complicated and yet stereotypical French porn title. Presumably they built a time machine, traveled from 1979 to 2024 and had an Artificial Intelligence write a 1970ies French porn flick title for them. Kudos for the effort. Collège doesn't translate as the US-American college but it's more like middle school. Why did they have to go there? But as far as I can tell there are no games (permissible or forbidden) nor middle school students in sight. Nor a story line. The only unifying elements are a stolid brown coupé car, and Cathy Stewart (Catherine Greiner). Apart from that, the story is all over the place. We have a sort of stately boarding school, whence two girls leave for the weekend, and where the daughter of the flower-loving principal is forced to stay at, with her boyfriend, as a punishment for fooling around with her boyfriend, whom she then fools around with, but strangely, this never results in an explicit scene. Come to think of it, there is a couple of pretty actresses who don't end up in explicit scenes. There are many such scenes, however, after an overly elaborate setup, and many seem to end up in car sex in the above mentioned brown car. The director seems to have had a knack for finding uncomfortable locations for shooting intercourse, such as a car for a threesome, or a bathtub for a lesbian scene (think about it, that doesn't work). On the other hand, several disparate locations seem to have stood in for the boarding school.

It's kind of a dusty, cobwebbed showcase for the fabulous but tragic Cathy Stewart.

As far as the listings go, the actors have swapped names here: Richard Allen (the guy with a beard from half the Alpha France productions) is called Charly and Charly Schreiner (French porn's long-haired hippie) plays Richard. Charly and Richard are down and out in a French or Swiss ski resort. Interestingly, they decided to shoot this film in the snow, which probably didn't come cheap, but then decided to conceal this fact by mostly not referring to it in the French and international titles (except for one German title which translates as "Hot Cooches On Ice"). So Charly (beard) and Richard (hair) soon encounter a friendly tourist (Denise played by Diane Dubois) who puts them up at her chalet in return for them putting it up her. More encounters with more snow bunnies ensue, then the two end up at the hospital with their legs fractured but their manhood fortunately still intact.

Some of the sleaziest rumors of old Hollywood turned into a series of short films with beautiful, and often even stunning, girls and overly long and rambling voiceovers. The film works with allegations and insinuations probably for legal reasons (because many of the stories are overblown or completely fictitious) which takes a lot of the edge away and makes the storytelling weirdly coy and camp. Many of the stars are so old that you may never have heard of them, such as Olive Thomas. In the case of Fatty Arbuckle, being exonerated in a court of law didn't save him from getting smeared here once more.