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deltaleeder
Reviews
Alone in the Dark (2005)
This movie is up there with a root canal...
Consider this movie a patient in the ER with a gunshot wound to the head: It starts off flat line, and the next two hours of CPR are completely pointless.
The movie begins with scrolling text, and a horrible narration done by the guy who voices all those See-and-say Playskool toys. This goes on for about 3 minutes, explaining....nothing.
Christian Slater's character is introduced, as an investigator of Paranormal Activity, for an agency run by the government known as Bureau 713. Now, when you hear this, you'd think "X-files". No...actually, think more along the lines of "Crossing guards who tried out for SWAT, and got rejected." The organization is compiled of a bunch of scrawny soldiers in skateboarding helmets and paintball vests spouting tactical non-sense and waving hands in the air as if they're trying to give hand signals.
The story, from what I got, was this: This race of Hell demons came upon Earth, and a mad scientist tried to merge human subjects and the race together. He used 20 orphans as test subjects, and now, twenty years later, he has decided to continue his research.
Somewhere in there fits some crap about an ancient race that tried to contain the deamons....wow, to be honest, I just got totally lost...I'm sorry...and you will too, so don't even bother seeing this. (Recently, movie prices were just dropped in my area...so thankfully I only wasted $10.00 instead of $14.00)
From a technical standpoint: There is no plot..the characters are as dry as the turkey I ate for lunch...These "elite soldiers", as I said, run around in knee pads, skateboarding helmets, shooting at anything that moves, and even things that don't move..like the sky..or ground. There's one scene that shows closeups of guns firing in the dark for maybe five minutes...the producers didn't do it, but I will for you.
WARNING: THIS FILM MAY CAUSE SEIZURES. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
The movie is just full of poor acting, and what didn't make any sense to me is this: These soldiers flip down their tinted visors...while in the dark...searching for a monster that is entirely black. Whoever wrote this script I am sure is on the street now begging for change.
My verdict: -17 out of 10
RoboCop (1994)
One hour of great television
When evaluating a show like this, you really have to put things into perspective.
Robocop: The series was filmed in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and is one of the best shows to come out of this country and into network sindication. (Other great shows include: Kung Fu: The Legend Continues, T and T, starring Mr. T, and My Secret Identiy, with a 13 year old Jerry O'Connel)
All the actors in the show are local Toronto/Canadian actors, (now they do national tv shows and national lottery/car dealership commericals) so this was probably the only chance they got to be seen on television sets around the world. No, the show didn't live up to the standards set forth by the movies: lots of gore, the ED209 Combat Unit, sarcastic remarks (BANG!!..."Thank you for your cooperation...!") and a corrupt multi-million dollar corporation (OCP in this series is actually made to look a little more "friendly")
But it really did try to stick close to the storyline, using scenes and references from the movies (ie all Robocop's functions and directives, the COBRA assault rifle) as well as keeping the wardrobe clsoe to that of the films. It had its own touch of originality (bringing in new ideas in terms of Alex Murphy's past...ie elaborating on the life of Nancy Murphy, his wife, Jimmy Murphy, his son, as well as Robocop's Parents). It contained "Mediabreak" featurettes, as well as the satirical humour of the commercials you would see in the movies (funny futuristic-product commercials, talk shows, etc). Yes some episodes were goofy, but most provided 52 minutes of great entertainment.
Out of all the other Robocop TV duplicates that appeared over the years, this is by far the greater of them all. Definately a show not to miss.
Navy Seals (1990)
Not THAT great, but a good blend...
Navy SEALs isn't Oscar material, but it is a decent film, with its ups and downs. (mostly ups, I think)
The story revolves around a Navy SEAL (I'm sure its been mentioned many times, but SEAL is SEa Air and Land)unit sent in to rescue the crew of a US helicopter taken hostage. However, while escaping, two SEALs come across a cache of Stinger missiles, but there's no time to demolish them. As well, the terrorist leader, disguised as a prisoner himself, is accidentally allowed to escape. The movie focuses in on the team's search for the weapons on their suspect, and it also gives audiences a glimpse at what SEALs do.
Overall, I found this movie very entertaining (The opening hostage rescue scene being the highlight of the movie). I also enjoyed the fact that this movie showed all the different ways SEALs get to their target. (parachute, swimming, etc). There's some comic relief to it (its lame, but its pretty funny), and it delivers some great SEAL action throughout (especially the training and killhouse scene). The music is very catchy, too, giving an overall patriotic feel.
However, this movie is not without its inaccuracies, which there are many of. First of all, each soldier has the same weapon, an MP5 Silenced, yet each soldier's gun makes a different sound. (One even sounds like a shotgun...what's with that?)As well, Charlie Sheen's character, a bit of a renegade, would never have been allowed as a part of a SEAL team with that attitude.
Its worth checking out. If you like it, might as well buy it from the "under $10 DVD" rack. 6/10
The Delta Force (1986)
Unrealistic, yet entertaining
I own this movie, so it does have some merit to it. The movie is designed (barely) to give movie audiences a look at how the United State's secret counter-terrorist unit "Delta" Force operates.
The plot is very straight forward: Passengers of an airliner, all of various nationalities, are taken hostage by Muslim extremists (Surprise, surprise! Given that was the talk of the world around that time), who have a strong hate towards the Jewish people, picking them out individually and thinking of ways to deal with them. American's are on board, and given that the United States will "not negotiate with terrorists", the army calls up Chuck Norris and his team and sends them overseas, with Lee Marvin commanding.
First, does this movie entertain? Yes. It has its plot twists and startling moments, as well as some *OK* shooting scenes in the classic Middle Eastern-type streets. Is this accurate? Nope. Factually speaking, the tactics used in this movie are NOT realistic, and would probably lead to the killing of many hostages and soldiers. As well, American's don't proudly tear off the covers of their adhesive-backed patches and firmly rub them on there shoulders before going into combat. If you want to learn how Delta Force actually operates, there are some documentaries out there, as well as many books on the unit.
The movie falls along the same lines as Navy SEALs, another "US Special Forces Anti-Terrorist" movie. (Navy SEALs is actually more realistic and accurate). Watch it? Sure, if you have nothing better to do a Sunday afternoon. Out of 5 starts, **+1/2.
Space Precinct (1994)
A great show to get into...something different
I first started watching the show in '98, when it was aired on our local Sci-fi themed television station. I must say, it wasn't that bad, and was easy to get caught up in.
The show was done by Gerry Anderson (Thunderbirds, Stingray, etc), but not only did it use the same types of models, it also combined live action, and instead of CG aliens, masks and makeup were used. The concept was different than most shows out there; the idea of a Space Police department, where aliens and humans work together. The "space car" designs were done well. The special effects weren't that great, but they weren't cheesy either. (like Captain Power or Power Rangers)
The idea may seem like something a younger person would find interesting, but with the violence, mild-cursing and adult situations, it was apparent that this was an adult oriented show, almost like NYPD Blue meets Star Trek. The characters were well developed, and the plots kept you wanting to watch, each episode or 2-part saga having its own twists and turns.
All in all, a great show to get attached to. I taped all the episodes, so its a really good show to watch on a lazy Sunday afternoon instead of Golf or auto-racing.