DeepAndWide

Have you seen the white whales? This film is the mother lode of Kitten Natividad's extraordinary bosom. C'mon, you HAVE to be curious about those jumbo puppies, uniquely styled somewhere between natural, the usual implant look, and a baby's soft rear end.

Of the 77 "Actress" and "Self" titles listed here at IMDb; I have viewed 12 of them and sought out numerous others. This is by far the most enjoyable and satisfying exhibition of the aforementioned bazooms I have come across. The Russ Meyer films have a novel, outrageous comedic style to them, but the visual presentation is very cluttered with skewed camera angles and extremely fast crosscutting between scenes. They also feature Kitten pre-implants: well endowed, but not nearly as spectacular.

If you really want to feast your eyes on 8th and 9th not-quite-natural wonders of the world, like a dog tilting his head in puzzlement and trying to figure out "How can it be??" … Takin' It Off is the catbird seat. You'll think there's two new balloons coming down 6th Avenue in Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. It's one generous scene after another, in and out of various costumes and situations, with good picture composition, lighting, and close-ups … interspersed with silly comedy and an assortment of other nudie-cutie acts. In addition to the stage show at the strip club where much of the movie is set, there are a couple of very fun group strip scenes at a library and a workout spa.

The sequel—Takin' It All Off— is also quite excellent, with a mix of Kitten (in some new scenes and some flashbacks to Takin' It Off), the literally "outstanding" Candy Evans, the gorgeous Becky LeBeau, and the bevy of other cuties who show their assets quite generously to a great mix of fresh tunes. If you want a little more of Kitten after this, Eroticise is a good extension of the extravaganza.

Sadly, Kitten underwent a double mastectomy for treatment of breast cancer in October 1999 (per the IMDb bio). If you would like to witness her marvelous sense of humor about that misfortune, be sure to check out The Double-D Avenger.

Evidently, different people are looking for different things in a soft core comedy. Me, I just want to be playfully titillated, and this movie does it very well. How many times have we been disappointed when the cover artwork looked very juicy but the movie didn't deliver? This is one of the gems that makes me say, "Now that's what I'm talking' about!"

You have a bevy of cute, vibrant, teenage girls in colorful cheerleader uniforms, and one somewhat more mature woman who enriches the mix a bit. The acting is good; the girls are very animated with personality and attitude. The game of nudie peek-a-boo is well played, with teasing, finesse, and suspense around how much we are going to see and when. And then when the nudity comes, the girls are perky, succulent, and natural, with "a wiggle in the walk and a giggle in the talk" (as Big Bopper put it in "Chantilly Lace").

There is enough of an unpredictable story line to hold interest and clear the palette between nude scenes, and enough yada yada yada so you don't lose track if you get distracted by girl watching. To wit: A busload of cheerleaders from three different high schools is hijacked en route to a state competition and held for ransom. The girls are taunted sexually, and six of the cuties are goaded into a musical striptease contest. The other highlight is a tender, soapy bath administered to one of the girls by the more mature school nurse--Ooh!

Technically, the camera work is well done, with good composition and close-ups, and the dialog is clearly audible. It's easy to take these things for granted until you come across a poor movie with cluttered pictures, nudity only in fuzzy long shots, and muffled dialog. The music is fresh and lively (not bump-and-grind techno).

Also, I'm a big fan of Marilyn Joi. I've seen 9 of her movies, and this is definitely the best display her feminine charms, along with the other 14 cuties who make up the cast of cheerleaders. Have I sufficiently explained why this is one of my favorite soft-core collectables?

There are different kinds of erotic films: comedies, dramas, photo shoots, animation, bondage, bump-and-grind hard core … and then there's Andrew Blake. Gorgeous, voluptuous women shed all their inhibitions and all propriety, and play outrageous sexual games among themselves (usually with no men involved) in a dream-like world of classy, shameless eroticism. It's decadence in high heels and pearls, with jaw-droppingly vivid portrayals of all the bulging body parts. There is no airbrushing needed with these naturally endowed women.

We appear to be seeing into a secret world where, freed from the obligation of keeping up the appearance of some level of chastity in order to entice the conqueror spirit in men, the women behave like audacious, horny animals with one another, in an acoustical dreamscape unspoiled by the sound of human voices. It doesn't really seem like lesbianism. The chemistry of the all-girl format is that they need a man so very badly to give them what they crave but can't quite get from each other, thus exciting the male libido.

The video quality of these films is superb: a high resolution picture with vivid colors and great composition. The directing style varies quite a bit among the titles, though. Some of the films are shot with very fast cuts back and forth between scenes, which I find distracting and annoying. One of the things that make Naked Diva perhaps the best of the lot is the long, steady shots that allow the viewer to really relish the scenes, along with the especially gorgeous women in this one.

This makes the rest of porn look like chicken scratch.