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lainy1982
Reviews
Shark in Venice (2008)
I have just wasted an hour and a half of my life
From the beginning and the terrible cheap opening scenes and credits, I just knew this film was going to be awful, but I thought I would give it a chance. How wrong was I? There is a reason why Stephen Baldwin is not the most famous for acting amongst his family and if he got paid for this film then he should give his wage to charity.
I noticed blips in this film from the very start. I did have a good chuckle, when Baldwin, who is underwater with breathing apparatus in his mouth which you can clearly see his lips round, still manages to talk to his fiancée via an imaginary radio without moving his lips!! Extraordinary!! Then there was the big chase in the film, which the cameras felt the need to zoom in closely to Baldwin's face to make it look like he had time to think about where to run next.
The underwater fight scene near the end of the disaster movie was my favourite. This fight lasted for a good ten minutes whilst cops invaded the building in their dozens, but yet no one came up for air, but miraculously didn't drown. Must have been wearing that amazing breathing apparatus again??!! It's clear this film was done on the cheap (they used the same scene of a police officer sliding down a rope into the building 3 times in the space of 6 minutes) but it really was a poor show, no pun intended. I was expecting better and was hoping for a good thriller/horror to make me sit on edge of my seat, but unfortunately all I got was a film that would have made watching paint drying more fun.
Pathology (2008)
Its OK if you ain't got something better to do
After seeing a trailer for this film when I went to see Saw 4 (which btw, puts this film so far in the shade that its a as pasty as the dead bodies in it), I thought "now there is an interesting film" HOW WRONG WAS I??? The movie is very slow to begin with, and also very dark throughout. Ted Grey is this magnificent doctor just back from Africa and has left his hot fiancée (Alyssa Milano) at home while he studies pathology taught by a man who wants to get with Alyssa's character.
So it begins with Ted meeting the geek of the class who no one likes and then he meets Jake, the mastermind behind the game. Ted and Jake then have a few playground arguments over dead bodies and cause of death and surprise surprise, Jake invites Ted out for a drink. Before you know it the is a secret, unsuspecting killing spree going on with each death just as unique as the one before (notice how no one misses the dead). Anyway, the story then becomes predictable, Ted starts sleeping with Jake's lesbian girlfriend and it happens often on the morgue table.
Ted then goes home for thanksgiving to his loving fiancé and she decides to return with him. Low and behold, Ted wants out the game, fixes up an explosion to kill everyone involved in the game, kills them all but Jake. When he realises Jake ain't dead it's too late cos Jake has turned up at Ted's flat and made quick work of killing Milano. Ted then carries out his fiancé's autopsy (strange), Jake turns up to kill him, but the class geek helps Ted out and they all live happily ever after, right???
100 Million BC (2008)
Awful Movie
Please don't waste anytime watching this movie, trust me it is time badly spent. For a film of this day and age, the special effects were terrible, the Simpsons movie had better effects, and the acting was also better in the Simpsons as well. Poorly written and very predictable, I was hugely disappointed with the "movie" and it's overall story. The creators should watch Jurassic Park then get back to us with something a little less wooden. This film must have been made on a budget of about £10 because the so called dinosaurs were drawn and the guy playing Reno must have done his part for free as it was so bad. It's a straight to bin movie for me
88 Minutes (2007)
This film was poor
This film is a poor one for Al Pacino to have on his C.V. It does him no favours whatsoever, and I'm actually disappointed with myself for making myself sit through the whole film, already knowing who the killer was, trying to convince myself the writers were not so fickle and had put a really good twist in it a the end, but alas, they didn't bother their backsides. Take my advice and don't bore yourself for 88 minutes, watch something decent with a plot!!! And just where did they dig all the terrible actors (except Pacino obviously) from. I see they have somehow managed to tempt the ginger girl from the TV series Cybil into making a wonderful return to acting LOLOLOL. Surely Hollywood can do better!!