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Reviews
Southcliffe (2013)
Absolutely Dire - Save Your Time And Watch Something Else
Even with just 4 episodes, 45 minutes long, this was torture. Almost from the outset, you could see that all that was of concern here was to try and make a variation on a story that has been done so many times that it was bound to fail.
It has attempted to be part drama/part documentary style and the second of these always fails. God knows why this won any awards.
Cliche characters abound. The bullied ex resident returns to town and surprise surprise doesn't handle the situation well. An ex SAS man comes to the rescue of his relative who is in the army and has been shot at by the gunman. An appalling cliche then runs where these two brutalise the town oddball so that he goes on a killing spree.
As for some of the victims and their stories they are just unbelievable.
The last episode takes place a year after the killing. It's not clear what has happened to the gunman who went on the killing spree so the journalist who had a meltdown in episode 3 returns to Southcliffe to have another go at speaking to people he'd said deserved to be shot. We're not told for certain whether the gunman is at large. How's that for an omission.
Avoid this like the plague. It is truly awful.
Happy Valley (2014)
Overrated IMO
Decent in parts but just far too many cliches and predictable but totally unbelievable confrontations and set pieces that have been done to death. Even people like me who worked in construction and subject to basic health and safety training would have avoided finding ourselves in situations that experienced police officers in ALL crime drama appear to welcome.
And before the avid fans get hot under the collar, we all know that certain scenes are milked for dramatic effect but surely, surely, writers should now be obliged to avoid cliches?
We all know what they are. Senior officer advises maverick cop not to do X, maverick cop does X. Maverick cop walks into a situation where criminal is more than likely present and does so. Generally poorly armed hence putting themselves in danger all for the purpose a philosophical conversation that is little more than a recap of what has happened already. Member of the family does something daft, usually predictable, yet the main character is blissfully unaware. Etc Etc
To finish, I'd like to assure people who have never been to the UK that despite the mountain of corpses in these fictional rural settings, they aren't crime hot spots. There are so many killings needed by writers to tell a story that they themselves have clearly lost the plot.
Honeymoon (2007)
A 30 Minute Waste of Your Life
If you are in the UK or subscribing to a service that brings you Channel 4 programmes, this is still available.
Don't waste your time and be glad that I've done that job for you. After watching this I said to myself this surely had to be one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. How on earth this got commissioned and why anyone agreed to act in it is beyond me.
A totally ludicrous plot with a woman in a wedding dress running around a motorway service station that would not have been out of place in a George Romera or David Lynch film, yet this is the UK where as odd as things sometimes get, you'd be hard pressed to thinking this was at all believable.
Utter garbage that someone no doubt thought was original.
The worst thing for me is that when Channel Four came out, it had some brilliant drama and original films and they aren't available.
The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)
I'm Not On My Own - It's Poor
Game of Thrones, like any other multi series success story, continues to spread trouble for programme makers. By this I mean that companies like Netflix are constantly searching for a GOT or Sopranos or Breaking Bad, something they can milk to death.
The reality is that in order to unearth one that keeps viewers coming back, the majority of attempts flounder. This means either something getting dumped after one season or if not, what I call the homeopathy approach is used where a single idea gets diluted and spread out until there is really nothing there.
As others have said, this series is completely bizarre and has all the gravity and logic of the Christmas panto. The acting is diabolical. Lenny Henry as evil wizard? Really? This tendency to indulge ex comedians into thinking they can act is ludicrous. I can't think of one who has ever pulled it off, including Billy Connolly. They should all stick to the Norman Wisdom type films and play for laughs.
Having said that, this series is so ludicrous, if it weren't for the blood spatters, it could have been shown on children's TV.
A disaster but at least we were spared in that there's only four episodes and absolutely no reason to make any more.
The Rig (2023)
Just About 5
Another peculiar choice made by Netflix that has wasted the talents of the cast, mostly British actors who have plenty of opportunities for good parts. Three of the cast for example were in Game of Thrones and one was a lead actor in Line of Duty, highly successful series without any doubt.
This cast were given an incredibly daft story line to bring to life that was a corny as it comes. Greedy industrialists disturb something they shouldn't have in their quest to extract oil. That's the starting point. Over six episodes we see some very bizarre happenings, none of which seem to phase the crew who seem to be more concerned with falling out amongst themselves.
Everything made much worse of course by the current trend of programme makers using what I call the homeopathy approach - barely any active ingredients diluted to the point where there's nothing left in the mixture.
I doubt it it is possible but surely Netflix would be better off trying to buy output from the likes of HBO who have a better grasp on what makes a good programme.
The Handmaid's Tale (2017)
Flogging A Dead Horse - As Usual
Talk about outstaying your welcome, does any series these days, know when it's time to stop before it spoils all the good work? Sadly, the answer seems to be no and it really is a shame. Apart from the fact that regurgitating the same two or three scenarios over and over again, each of these shows becomes a bed-blocker for some other new talent that never gets a chance.
In the end, these become about as entertaining as a 50 year old practical joke and it's a travesty because they always begin so well. This show like umpteen others - The Main In The High Castle, Preacher, Mr Robot and even Game of Thrones should have decided right at the beginning to go for quality instead of quantity.
I'm fairly sure everyone knows the story and it's a great idea but there's only so many times it can be milked.
Glue (2014)
Unfortunately, Hollyoaks meets Midsommer Murders
For a start, there was barely enough material here for 4 episodes, never mind 8. I can't recall where I read it but someone from the entertainment business pointed out that films need about 2 hours worth of material whereas on TV, writers seem to believe they can hold our attention for nearly 8 hours.
If you have something like Breaking Bad, then no problem. Here, despite having an award winning writer, the whole thing had a horrible resemblance to a school play.
The main set of characters were 20 somethings, entirely unlikeable and little more than cliches of empty headed kids which is a bit of a travesty. The rural setting for multiple murders was hardly convincing and a pile of non-essential subplots that never went anywhere didn't help.
A waste of effort. We watched it so you don't have to.
Engrenages (2005)
Brilliant Stuff
I'd seen plenty of comments about this series before I watched the first of them some years after it was first shown here in the UK and it is without doubt one of the best police dramas ever.
Great cast and filming. Good story lines and once again, the French actors showing most UK actors how it's done. The writers maintained high standards across the entire output even though it may have flagged a bit here and there.
The main characters were well conceived and not one of them was entirely good or bad like you get in far too many shows. Neither were they quirky for the sake of it.
I'm surprised that apart from Audrey Fleurot we haven't seen much of the cast in other programmes in the UK because they most certainly have the talent to do the job.
Salamander (2012)
Excellent Series
One of the great benefits of streaming services is that the delve into the output from Europe and elsewhere and unearth some gems like this one. This is the story of someone trying to uncover and stop the plans of a secret society (not a Vincent Price/Hammer Horror style one) who are interfering in politics and the government.
Apart from good writing and filming, it gives us the opportunity here in the UK to see some new actors and many of them put the usual lot to shame with their acting ability. I don't know if it is common outside of the UK and America, but there is a tendency these days to give parts to ex comedians and other entertainers who for some unknown reason, think they can act. See Alan Davis for an example. Instead here we have people who have learned their craft and can deliver the story.
There are two series under this heading. The first one is the best in my opinion but the second is still worth watching.
Jack Ryan (2018)
Season Two - Ludicrous Plot
You have to wonder once again, what type of gullible people approve plots like this. There are spoilers in this review but I won't mention them until later.
I don't mind all the daft James Bond or Mission Impossible extravagance, neither of those are really trying to tie the characters to current events in the way Jack Ryan series do. It is a bit disconcerting too that the motivation rogue countries seem to tie in seamlessly to whoever the rabid right of American politics has decided is the bete noire. In this case it's Venezuela.
As someone who isn't at all convinced by American foreign policy, there's still a story that could be told about American interference in foreign countries because it goes on every day and has been that way for literally decades. The better approach has always been the model used in Missing with Jack Lemon.
The spoilers come next....
Once again we have a handful of dubious characters that seemingly can put together a mission without any preparation in a foreign country and come out of in mostly unscathed. In this case, that was only the start of it.
A rescue mission is approved by the CIA but just as an afterthought. Ryan and a couple of others decide to fly a helicopter to the presidential palace in the capital. There, in Where Eagles Dare style they shoot everyone they see, even getting to the president of Venezuela.
So we are left to assume that there is no Air Force or even radar in Venezuela and that despite a dodgy election going on, there's hardly any soldiers at the palace. In and out Ryan and his mates go, without a single shot fired at the helicopters.
Back home, a dodgy senator suggests Ryan could run for office and be legitimately described as the man who returned democracy to Venezuela. God help us.
Treason (2022)
Who Actually Commissioned This?
Utter nonsense of a plot with the main characters completely unbelievable. Some clown ends up as deputy chief of MI6 and then has to fill in for the absent leader. While MI6 has had plenty of idiots working for them, they surely have never had someone of the skill level of Mr Bean in such a senior role.
We are lead to believe that his wife gets freaked out when he ends up having to take phone calls at odd times or that he is working late at night or something that keeps him awake. He has apparently been able to get home to put the kids to bed every night. Most police constables have never been so lucky never mind the 2nd in command to MI6.
This of course isn't the first time we've seen money wasted on unbelievable nonsense and it's becoming the norm all too often. I cannot believe that there isn't talent out there but it seems they never get a chance.
After one episode I'd seen enough.
It is staggering that some quality actors agree to take part in something where the plot is so laughable that we have to wonder whether or not their careers are on the rocks.
It's no wonder Netflix are losing subscribers.