rustyangel13

KRAI THONG: This was my first Thai horror movie experience and it was... just plain lousy! I won't condemn the Thai film industry with this one though because I really enjoyed their quirky gangster flick, BANGKOK DANGEROUS and I've read lots of things saying how good their ghost movie NANG NAK is. So trying to keep things positive for the Asian Cinema (in all it's many forms), I'll discuss the better points (there are actually a few) about this film. First, the story must be based on an old legend because it has that fable "feel" to it. Also, towards the end of the movie, there's a part where it seems that the actual legend ends and the director takes over with full creative control (similar to the point towards the end of the French action / fantasy flick, BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF) where "somewhat based on an actual occurance" turns into "how much do you think we can get away with". Anyway, the story is about a giant crocodile that has been terrorizing the countryside. It's really the devil-god, CHALAWAN, who can change from man to crocodile at will. He, along with his two Gator Girls (love slaves who can also transform into crocodiles) are causing so much trouble for the townsfolk that the mayor declares that if any man can kill the evil reptiles, he will be rewarded riches beyond his dreams and his two beautiful daughters as wives. Damn, what a prize?! These girls are fine too! Well, CHALAWAN gets wind of all this and kidnaps one of the mayor's daughters. After raping her and placing a curse on the poor girl, the action begins as our hero, KRAI TONG, sets out to kill the monster-people and get alittle snooky along the way. But don't be fooled by my quick synopsis. It's NOT as good as it may sound. And honestly, I couldn't tell if director SUTHAT INTARANUNPAKORN wanted to make a romantic film, a horror movie, or a porn flick. Again, don't get excited about the "porn" word either. There's LOTS of sex in here but no real skin shots to speak of (!) and even with 4 gorgeous Thai vixens walking around half-naked, we only get a brief nude scene from one of the lovely ladies. But luckily, it was (my personal favorite Gator Gal) LUAM who shows off her breasts through a water soaked white dress. So all in all, a rather boring, badly acted (and I can't even speak Thai), straight-to-video attempt to cash in on a few good looking Asian girls in skimpy outfits (who'd be better off doing porn anyway). But I will say that the half-human crocodile-baby at the very end was really quite funny to see and almost better than the whole damn movie itself.

VOLCANO HIGH SCHOOL: You'll either LOVE or HATE this movie depending on what mood you're in when you watch it. But let's see, what exactly have we got here? This movie is like playing a video game on the hardest difficulty setting. It's just like standing in line for the premiere of a blockbuster motion picture. It's a front row seat at a Korean ROB ZOMBIE concert. It's a shot of whiskey without the chaser. Rough and rowdy, it's fast (oh yes!), it's furious (oh hell yes!), it's THE X-MEN meets THE MATRIX in high school. It's WHASANGO aka VOLCANO HIGH directed by KIM TAE-GYUN and it doesn't get any better than this! Leave your brain at the ticket booth and kick back for a supernatural Martial Arts CGI assault-fest on your senses for which there may NEVER be an equal to. Yet again, the Korean Cinema kicks the door open to the boundaries of film storytelling with an epic effort that has everything going for it. There's mucho action, wacky punk rock characters, hilarious "foreign" comedy, snazzy computer animated special effects, babe-o-licious Asian teen hotties, and a smack-you-in-the-mouth fight scene finale that borderlines pure unadulterated Kung-Fu Theatre bliss. It tells the tale of the student body of the infamous Volcano High who, after the "student-teacher war" have begun to adjust to a slightly normal education process. Of course, with students running around with extraordinary superhuman powers, it's never easy for the teachers to keep order in the classroom and the fact that whoever "runs" the school becomes the inheritor of the fabled "sacred manual of fighting techinques" means there's trouble brewing all the time. Enter the major cast of characters who are in competition for this award: Kim Kyung Soo (actor JANG HYUK), our main star and newest transfer student. Hak Rim aka Elegant Crane (actor KWAN SNAG-WOO), the current number one fighting champion. Chae-Yoo aka Icy Jade (actress SHIN MIN-A), the captain of the Kendo Club and Soh Yu (actress KONG HYO-JIN), her supra-sexy second in command. Jang Ryang aka Dark Ox (actor KIM SO-ROH), leader of the Weight Lifting Club. And Shimma (actor KIM HYEONG-JONG), orange haired head of the Rugby Team. This motley crew, together with a zany supporting cast of student followers, teachers, and principals, makes this extreme viewing pleasure all that more enjoyable. There's even a little love story for the chicks. And when things really heat up, the vice-principal calls in "The School 5: Masters of Suppressing School Wrongdoing" to handle the situation. And believe you me, those five can kick some major behind. But does the whole thing make any sense, you ask. NO! Does it have to? NO! It's simply mindless "eye-candy" entertainment for those interested in such fluff and if you think too hard about the actual story or plot, I do believe that your brain just may turn to mush. Everyone will certainly walk away from this film with a different take on it but for me, the benefits of seeing this flick not only satisfied my craving for another fix from the "exaggerated cinema" but gave me the wonderful opportunity to witness the existance of probably the sexiest girl in South Korea, the sultry Soh Yu with her nappy matted hair, permanent angry face, and super "take no shit" saucy attitude. And she can "GO" too. Too bad she didn't have a bigger part (with nude scenes) though. So, with all that being said, what are you still waiting on?! Go see this movie right now! In my opinion, no Asian DVD collection can be complete without it.

THE RED SHADOW: I've seen the future of the Japanese "new-age" ninja / samurai cinema and it's the supra-hip RED SHADOW film directed by HIROYUKI NAKANO (of SAMURAI FICTION fame) and starring ANDO MASANOBU (the absolutely psychotic, but absolutely cool Kiriyama from the Greatest Japanese film of all time, BATTLE ROYALE). Hopefully this movie will do to the "new-wave" ninja genre what SEIJUN SUZUKI (BLOOD, PISTOL OPERA, BRANDED TO KILL) and TAKASHI MIIKE (FUDOH, DEAD OR ALIVE, TOKYO MAFIA) did for the modern "neon-pop" Yakuza scene. But all that aside, RED SHADOW, simply put, is a flashy, hip (I know this word keeps coming up), stylish, "live-action" comic book, martial arts comedy made into one long jazzy music video. Just sit back and enjoy because it's nothing but colorful, snazzy eye-candy mingled with mindless high-gloss fluff and it's very, very fun to watch. As for the plot of the movie itself, Ando stars as the ninja, AKA KAGE (the RED SHADOW) and along with his bumbling ninja-buddy, the BLUE SHADOW and their female partner (and love interest), ASUKA (or ASKA, however you wish to pronounce it), they go out on important missions to capture or steal information for their master who's goal is to keep the peace throughout the kingdom which is about to erupt into civil war. As the movie progresses, we meet all kinds of samurai (both good and bad) and the many "specialty" warriors (zany characters you'd see in a fantasy Anime). But the real story starts to take shape when we meet the newly crowned, PRINCESS KOTO (played by MEGUMI OKINA), who's in jeopardy of loosing her castle and army to a traitor from among her own family members. And if this person succeeds, this will surely bring the entire kingdom to the brink of war. So, it's up to the RED SHADOW and company to expose this threat, save the Princess from the evil-doers, and prevent the impending civil war. So from what's you've just read, you can expect it to be very traditional, very simple, pretty basic, and straight to the point. Which (in this case) actually works excellent for this movie. There's no real plot twists to worry about or mysteries to baffle the viewer (the "bad guys" are shown right from the start and their intentions are stated very early on) so it's an hour and a half of quirky, martial arts foolishness (very similar to the much overlooked SCREAMING MAD GEORGE zany KUNG-FU RASCALS flick) and wacky characters doing wacky things. I used to always say that JET LI's super-hero, Kato-inspired, action frolic, THE BLACK MASK was the closest thing to watching a comic book on the tv screen but RED SHADOW now grabs that coveted title. So, kick back, check it out, and simply enjoy.