Rafriki

The Invitation (2022)

Just another badpire movie

This movie is so stupid, irrational, predictable and full of clichés that it could easily have been made by Netflix.

Let's get it from the beginning: we see a lady with what seems to be a horrible situation but there's only one way to solve it. Why would anyone grab a bust just to hang herself? Isn't the body weight enough yet? The bust falls and obviously breaks but it is only the first of many breakable things to come.

After that, the main character is introduced and given an unusual gift: a DNA test with a full access to the family tree. Aren't those tests supposed to be confidential? Why would anyone travel to another country to meet strange people -against the foolish advice from her friend- even though they claim to be relatives? If the acting is bad, the characters and the script are dreadful.

Then she arrives at a Lego-like mansion and bumps -yep, another broken item- into one of some numbered (?) maids who are brought in to the mansion, more to be served than to serve. There is also a foyer with a big statue of a dragon and a soldier with a dangerously protruding spear -you nasty sculptor-. It will have a very important part later and some other things also ring a bell about what the plot is going on all about (New Carfax, no mirrors, Lucy, and later on, Jonathan and Mina Harker).

The girl goes jogging alone at night in a strange land but only later asks if there are any wolves in England.

The wedding preparations continue without any hints of the bride or the groom but there comes the predictable host-guest flirting. By the way, we are now halfway into the movie with no really scary scenes.

The spa scene is full of dull dialogue overshadowed by the enervating nail trimming and polishing sounds -isn't that a saw? Terrible sound editing and soundtrack as well-. Then the long expected finger bleeding and sucking (another vampiric cliché).

Time for the main character scary scene. Why would anyone hide under the bed? The hero host comes in to save the day, blah blah blah.

More romance time onscreen, wedding proposal and the breaking point -for even worse-, the family dinner. Some cringy closeups of munching guests and all the plot is revealed: they are vampires (wow, I didn't see it coming). She asks for help but of course, they're all vampires. Guards block her way and seconds later she breaks out past them (!). She is imprisoned in a coffin and freed afterwards, then chasing, typical hide-and-seek scene in the shed and more chasing. At this point I was really wishing the movie to end.

The girl flees to a town where she meets an old couple. No, please don't, enough of chamomile tea!

She gets caught again, wed and initiated into vampirism -that's a really fast transformation! She burns up the whole Lego mansion in just a few seconds -everything seems to be varnished with fuel.

Then she is entangled in a final fight where the evil woman gets impaled (by the way, the spear appears and disappears between shots all along the movie). That statue wins for best supporting role and sidekick ever.

Once the vampires are dead, the curse on the girl rolls back (!!!). She escapes, comes for an ultimate revenge and finally the best part: the ending.

I saw this movie at the theatre and the only good thing is that there was a young couple seated behind me and I made them laugh with my comments.

Make yourself a favour and don't waste your time nor money on this crap.