Hanichi's Reviews

Robo Vampire (1988)

1/10

13 December 2003

It wasn't until the end of this film that I realized it was essentially two movies, both of which on their own could have qualified as pure tripe. One is the the robot vs. vampire story that the title suggests. The other is a more straightforward good guys vs. drug gang movie. Although I have only seen the movie once, I believe you will find that the characters from the one plot line NEVER appear in the exact same shot with the characters from the other plot line. It really is two movies, edited together.

This movie is an absolute riot. I highly recommend it. The first time I saw the robot, I laughed so hard a friend had to pause the film to let me recover. The hopping vampires...oh my, they are perhaps the silliest things to appear in film since the 1950's. The whole thing makes Dr. Who look like it was done by ILM.

For those connoisseurs of bad movies, please get this film. You will not regret it.

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Giant Robo the Animation: The Day the Earth Stood Still (1992–1998)

6/10

Some cool stuff, with stretches of boredom

21 July 2003

Giant Robo is like a casserole; some bits are incredibly tasty, and some bits you have to push to the side of the plate. I love most of the incidental characters, especially the bad guys. The scenes where members of the Experts of Justice are facing off against, members of the Magnificent Ten and Big Fire (even the names are cool) are well done. When Ivan the Terrible shoots across a room and his scar glows red, all you can say is "Wow!" Also, several of the non-fight scenes are very well directed, with a lot of atmosphere. There are multiple instances in each episode where one of the good or bad characters does something that just makes you exclaim with joy at its coolness.

The problem with this film is that it dwells far too much on big stuff: Giant Robo, cities blowing up, big black orbs trashing out Shanghai, etc. Some of you will say "What do you expect from a movie called Giant Robo?" I have no answer to that. I guess this is what many people want to see. For me, long drawn out animated devastation loses its appeal after about five minutes, especially when they show the same bit of demolition multiple times (i.e. Bashtaralle getting blown up over and over again). Also, the little boy who controls Giant Robo just put me to sleep.

This would have been much better if they called it the Experts of Justice, and left out all the big stuff, including Giant Robo. But judging from the other comments, there is apparently an audience for animated cities getting trashed, so who am I to blame the filmmakers.

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The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

9/10

Did he really change the story?

19 December 2002

Warning: Spoilers

Warning: Spoilers are present, however if you have read down the comments this far, you already know everything about the movie.

First, off let me say that I have read the books at least 10 times in my life. My entire imaginative life has been molded by Tolkein's marvelous world.

Second, let me say that I really enjoyed this movie, and I give it a 9 out of 10, same as the first film. It is not perfect, but it is really good.

Now to the meat of my comments. Many of the commenters, I have noticed have repeatedly bemoaned the changes made in the film. And there are a fair number of them. The big question though,as a Tolkein fan, should be "Did Peter Jackson change the story?"

Anyone who has ever seriously considered what it takes to adapt a book into a film has to realize that some things will be different. Elements that work very well in writing are impossible to translate to the screen. Visual elements take a much more prominent place relative to dialogue and plot. The film must be adapted for the amount of time available (and Jackson is lucky he was allowed 3 hours). Also, every single person who has read and enjoyed Tolkein's work has a picture in their mind of every character and a movie in their head of every scene. It is impossible to satisfy all of these diverse viewers with every aspect of the movie. Someone will be disappointed with something. Therefore, alterations were inevitable.

So, did Jackson change the story? In my opinion, he didn't. He did change elements of the story, and on the whole they were changed for the worse.

Some that work well:

* cutting out several extra and essentially unnecessary characters and replacing them with other more important characters where necessary (i.e., Erkenbrand replaced with Eomer, in much the same way the Glorfindel was axed to make way for Arwen.) * intercutting the various storylines from the book so that all resolve at the same time. * altering the exact ending and beginning of the film from the book. As long as Minas Morgul, Shelob, and the breaking of Saruman's staff are in at the beginning of Return of the King, I think the changes Jackson made end up with a better movie. * the whole gunpowder blowing up the wall bit. I thought is was interesting and exciting. * the cool bit at the black gate with the elf chameleon cloaks. * Gimli as stand up comic.

Some that are ambivalent or unnecessary, but don't really make much difference in the end.: * having Elves show up at Helm's Deep. If he had to bring someone else in, it would have been better if he brought in the Rangers of the North early. * throwing a Warg attack in for fun. The wargs were the least believable CGI in the film, but you got to see Legolas do that cool quick mount on Gimli's horse, so it was worth it. * More Arwen bits. Liv Tyler does a passable job, but the storyline really feels tacked on. * Aragorn's whole near death experience.

Many that were bad: * Faramir really is a completely different and much less likeable character. * No mention of how Faramir knew that Boromir was dead. * Ditto on Theoden. * No Ent draughts? How are Pippin and Merry supposed to get tall in Return of the King? * Elrond as manipulative father. * Frodo and Sam dragged off to Osgiliath to be seen by the Nazgul and then set free by Faramir the reformed bully.

However, I have to say that all of these items are details. The fundamentals of the story really remain unchanged. I hope and believe that many of the bad bits will be corrected in the next film; Faramir will end up cool, Theoden will go down as a true hero, Pippin and Merry will end up big, etc. But even if they don't, none of these changes ruin it for me. He got a lot of details wrong, but he also go a lot absolutely right:

* Shadowfax running across the heath at Gandalf's whistle. * Gollum/Smeagol, one of the most pathetic, compelling characters I have ever seen in a movie. * Treebeard's eyes and face. * Everything about Eowyn (I get goosebumps picturing her throwing off her helmet before the Lord of the Nazgul, her straw blonde hair blowing in the wind.)

As I look at the chapter titles in my copy of the Two Towers, I note that every major story element not already covered in the first film is covered in the second film, up to chapter 8 in Book III and Chapter 6 in Book IV. As long as the remaining chapters are covered well in the next film, then I would say he did well. And thats really the crux of it all. If Return of the King doesn't cover some of the important material left out of this movie, and correct a few of the more egregious bad changes, then I might have to revise my rating of this film. However, hope springs eternal, so the bottom line is that while Jackson made changes, for bad or for worse, I don't think he ever took liberties.

One last comment: What is the deal with all the people who read a homoerotic subtext into the movies? I think that the relationship between Sam and Frodo is one of the best adapted parts of the films. Look, get it through your heads that these are two hobbits who love each other, in a deep, committed way that has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It comes through so clearly in both the books and the movie. I find the whole aspect of friendship in the books and movies to be one of the most compelling aspects. I, for one, find it wonderful to learn about a relationship between two men that doesn't consist of either superficial back-slapping comradery or sex, but of profound friendship. The friendships between Sam and Frodo, between Merry and Pippin, between Gimli and Legolas; these are the relationships that bring a richness to the work. A very touching and moving film about homosexual attraction could certainly be made, and probably has been, but this isn't it.

Man, I apparently had a lot more to say then I thought. I wonder if anyone will actually read this.

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Bringing Up Baby (1938)

6/10

OK, I laughed, but....

29 September 1999

I did laugh during this film. There are some hilarious bits that make the film worth watching. That being said, there are some serious problems. First, Katherine Hepburn just is not right for this part. It is almost impossible to buy her as a scatterbrained psychopathic stalker. Its not that she doesn't try hard. She has several moments of truly inspired acting. She is just wrong for the part on a deep level. Compare this part to her part in The Philedelphia Story and you will see what I mean. Which leads me to the second problem. Is it just me, or is Hepburn's character completely insane? Cary Grant should be running from her in abject terror, not going along with her hairbrained schemes. Which leads me to the third problem. I just can't believe that Cary Grant could fall in love with this loony woman! Finally, Cary Grant has to work very hard to not be suave and debonair. Just putting a pair of glasses on him doesn't suddenly make him a nerd. He's Cary Grant for pete sake, not Jerry Lewis.

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The Bride Came C.O.D. (1941)

6/10

Something is not right with this film

7 August 1999

This film has several excellent components, but it just doesn't work in the end. I'll admit that young Bette Davis really blows my hair back, the comic dialogue is often quite witty, and the cast is like a who's who of good character actors from the 30's and 40's. But by the time this film is over, your left scratching your head and wondering why any of it was worth your time. This is probably for two reasons. First, James Cagney's character has almost no redeeming qualities. Normally in a film like this, the film-maker goes for the "lovable rogue" type. In this film, apparently they thought the audience would sympathize with the "complete jerk" type. Secondly, not to give away the ending, but it makes absolutely no sense at all. I kept wondering how a happy ending was going to be made, and then when the ending came all I could say was "HUH! What brought that on?"

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Blood Simple (1984)

8/10

Good example of what happens when the Coens do something right

25 July 1999

I have to say that I might enjoyed this film more had I seen it when it first came out, instead of after I saw Fargo. The two films share themes and subject matter, and hence this film does not have the same freshness it might have had seeing it for the first time back in 1984. Many of the techniques that the Coen's use in this film they and others have used since in other films, so they don't have as much impact. That being said, this is a very good film. Like Fargo, the characters seem to be very simple people who make stupid mistakes and then make stupid mistakes trying to cover up previous mistakes, in an ever downward spiral. Yet this makes the film more authentic. Few people, when under great stress, are at their best intellectually.

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Stray Dog (1949)

9/10

Wonderful detective story, Kurosawa style

25 July 1999

Even with some very slow bits in this film, I still have to say it is my second favorite film by Kurosawa (after Seven Samurai, of course). Scenes and dialogue in this film just stick with you, like when a young pickpocket is sharing a popsicle in a police interrogation room with streetwise and experienced Inspector Sato (played by one of my favorite actors, Takhashi Shimura). They seem, strangely, to be enjoying themselves. But then Sato gives the girl a cigarette and she sucks on it as if her last breath was coming, smoking almost the whole cigarette in 30 seconds. The tension that pours out of the girl in that scene is incredible. Shimura and Mifune as the wise, old cop and the young, earnest rookie are absolutely convincing and completely mesmerizing. The streetwise petty criminals that they meet paint such a vivid picture of post war Tokyo that you feel the heat and choke in the dust with them.

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Three Little Words (1950)

7/10

Mid Range Astaire, but thats still pretty good

23 July 1999

While this isn't the best Fred Astaire movie ever, it still is Fred Astaire. Vera-Ellen is not the most charismatic partner he was ever paired with. Nor are Kalmar and Ruby my favorite music writing duo. However, it is still worth every penny of the rental. Look out for the largest room ever constructed on an ocean liner. You won't believe how big the state rooms were on the Queen Mary.

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Pennies from Heaven (1981)

6/10

Interesting film, with something missing

12 July 1999

In a way I wish I had not seen Dennis Potter's masterpiece, "The Singing Detective", before I had seen this film. Throughout both films, characters will routinely break out into lipsinking popular songs from the 20's and 30's and indulge in imaginary dance numbers. However, having already seen this technique in "The Singing Detective" it didn't have quite the impact it might have had. The surreal quality of the movie is still powerful, however. The characters are all two and three time losers, who, like in the film "Fargo" obviously all have one way tickets to disaster from the first few moments of the film. While it is not fast paced, nor is it in any way uplifting, it definitely has its moments. Christopher Walken's dance number is a must see for any Walken fan.

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Daughters of Darkness (1971)

4/10

It's too bad MST3K doesn't do soft porn

12 July 1999

This is a very silly film. All the female characters never walk or run or stand, they mince, flounce and languish. The lesbian vampires of the title are easily the most ineffectual vampires ever to grace the silver screen. This whole movie is just too European for me. And, while the lesbian vampires might have a taste for blood, there sure is very little of it in this film. All the above said, I did enjoy this film, because it is so easy to laugh about. About the only thing thing this so called erotic horror film is good for is a laugh.

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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

7/10

When its on, its hilarious. When its off, its just stupid.

25 June 1999

This movie is a reasonable sequel to the first film. Everything in this film seems to be magnified from the first one. The funny bits, and there are a lot of them, are even funnier this time around. The silly, scatological bits are sillier and more grotesque as well. Dr. Evil is absolutely hilarious, and Mini-me was genius. Fat Bastard, except for his predilection for baby flesh, was just awful and something I could have done without. Unfortunately, many of the gags are re-treads from the first film. The whole film is just more over the top than the first one, sometimes too much over the top. If you liked the first film, you will like this one as well. If you thought the first film was bad, you will think this one is worse.

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Captain Blood (1935)

7/10

It's an Errol Flynn movie. What more do you want.

25 June 1999

While this isn't my favorite Flynn film, it is certainly worth watching. A fair amount of action, lots of sparkling eye stuff from Flynn, ripped white frilly shirts; everything you would expect is here. I will say that while Olivia De Haviland was certainly beautiful, she doesn't quite fit this part. However, my personal favorite actors from the time period, Claude Rains and Basil Rathbone, more than make up for it. Rathbone is fantastic as Captain Blood's partner/nemesis Levasseur, and frankly needs more screen time than he gets. Some great dialogue spread out amidst some mediocre dialogue. I liked it, but Sea Hawk was better.

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The Grand Illusion (1937)

8/10

An excellent exploration of class and war

2 June 1999

This film is more about the changing relationships between the classes than it is about World War I, during which the film takes place. From the first scene to the last, Renoir explores the relationships between the various French prisoners of war and their German captors, always showing the great similarities between them. The dialogue in this film is truly inspired, and the acting of all the main characters is excellent. Each character is vividly drawn in a few brief moments, and then expanded on in the rest of the film. I could see how some might be disappointed in this film, if they expected an early version of "The Great Escape". But I was very impressed.

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Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

4/10

A squandered opportunity for greatness.

19 May 1999

First, some positives. Liam Neeson and Ewan Mcgregor are great as Jedi. This movie is easily one of the best looking films ever made. The Pod race scene is fun. The final fight is fun. The Gungans aren't Ewoks.

Now, the real review: this movie was even more disappointing than I expected it to be. Reasons: *The good dialogue is non-existent. For those that disagree, wait 5 years and then give me one cool line that you remember from this film. I can give you at least 10 from Star Wars, even more from Empire, and even a few from Return. There is perhaps one bit of even remotely memorable dialogue in this film. *The mediocre dialogue comes in vast quantities, usually when you wish something was happening. The guy sitting next to me growled during one scene "When will they stop talking!" *The 2 most important alien races are ethnic stereotypes and completely out of place. One race speaks just like Charlie Chan, and I kept expecting the Gungans to pull out Bongs and start Jamming to Shaggy. *Jake Lloyd, who plays Anakin Skywalker, is a giant pit of anti-coolness that sucks every ounce of coolness from every scene he is in like a black hole. I cannot believe that he was the best Lucas could come up with for this part. His lines are straight from a "Leave it to Beaver" episode and he has the emotional depth of a block of balsa wood. *There is little emotion of any kind. Anakin and his mother act like they hardly know each other. Darth Maul looks evil, but hardly has enough screen time to build up vague unease, let alone menace in the audience. The Jedi, admittedly, are supposed to be emotionless, and yet they show more depth of feeling than any other characters. *The absolutely absurd description of the Force as mediated by microscopic organisms. This sudden shift in description brings to mind the backstory whiplash of Highlander II.

Overall, this film is the biggest disappointment of a film I have seen in a very long time, and this is from a person who was expecting it to be pretty bad. Please wait to til this one hits second run before you waste time on it. $7 to $9 is just too much to pay.

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Wild Things (1998)

4/10

Hitchcock this isn't.

18 May 1999

This films plot twists and writhes like one of the alligator's frequently seen slipping in the water in the opening credits would while munching on a screenwriter. However, very few of the twists have any feeling of authenticity. Most of the time, this film meanders from one contrived surprise revelation after another. The acting in this film is mediocre at best; only Neve Campbell is really required to portray anything close to a real person, and she doesn't exactly succeed. Denise Richards must simply pout and yell, Matt Dillon must be first pure and then smarmy, and Kevin Bacon tries hard to be menacing and fails. Bill Murray is the only person in the film I wanted to know anything about. If there had been more sex, one could have classified it as soft porn and it would at least have had some marginal value, but as it is this thriller doesn't thrill at all.

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The Mummy (1999)

7/10

A fairly fun movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

18 May 1999

The Mummy is a passable attempt at a rollicking fantasy adventure. However, the film could have been much more. The acting is average, although Brendan Fraser does surprisingly well as the roguish hero. The plot is straightforward, and the action keeps up throughout the film. But there is something missing from this film. Some of the action is quite gruesome, as if the filmmakers were taking a stab at true horror. However, the scenes seem out of place with most of the rest of the film. One never really gets any feeling of deep supernatural evil from the bad guys, so when they do horrible things it just seems like cheap thrills. Yet the film is not really funny enough to match the standard set by Indiana Jones. Overall, an enjoyable film, but destined for the dust bin of film history.

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Conspiracy Theory (1997)

5/10

Only the New World Order could put out this dullness.

18 May 1999

I'm sorry, but I simply can't buy Mel Gibson as a crazy taxi driver. Then again, I can't buy Julia Roberts as a prosecutor (or whatever she is). I might have bought Patrick Stewart as a diabolical madman, but he's only on screen for 5 minutes. This movie just doesn't work. This is truly a Mass Appeal movie. An interesting idea for a cool movie is taken, popular actors are shoehorned into the parts, all complexity is removed or flattened so that Average Movie Goer won't be confused or disturbed. What you have left is Just Another Thriller. Don't bother with this one. Hitchcock would have made a fantastic film with this material, McNaughton just makes a movie.

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Black Mask (1996)

8/10

The first HK actioner where I like the characters more than the action.

18 May 1999

This is a very strange HK film in many ways. First, many of the action sequences really aren't that much fun. The very first gun battle the occurs in the film was just silly. Not cool silly, or even funny silly, but just silly. That's not to say there aren't some great action scenes, but most simply don't come up to the level of some of the other films I have seen. The opposite side is that this film actually has CHARACTERS, not just people. All of the main characters are interesting (except for the head bad guy, who is flat as a billiard table) and most are fairly well acted. All the protagonists in this film are just fun to watch. The dialogue is quite witty, and doesn't seem to lose much in translation. This film is worth seeing, but I hope that uninitiated American audiences don't think this is the best HK has to offer.

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Love Potion No. 9 (1992)

4/10

At least it isn't Police Academy

18 May 1999

This is a very silly film. The most interesting thing about it is just how awful costuming and makeup can make Sandra Bullock look. The Nerds Get Even idea can be milked for a few laughs every once in a while. But this film doesn't even begin to match the humor in such classics of the genre as Revenge of the Nerds and Weird Science. BTW, thats called d**mning with faint praise.

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Fierce Creatures (1997)

7/10

Funny enough? Yes, but only just.

19 April 1999

Kevin Kline is one of my favorite actors. John Cleese and Michael Palin are comic geniuses. Jamie Lee Curtis makes you think wonderful and interesting thoughts. So why is that this film isn't quite as funny as it should be. It is funny. I laughed at several appropriate moments. Somehow the film wasn't quite funny enough. If you want to see a comedy, and have seen all the really good ones, then see this one.

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Drunken Master II (1994)

9/10

Some of the best wild kung fu action I've seen

19 April 1999

Jackie Chan is the modern day Buster Keaton (I think Roger Ebert said that) and this movie really demonstrates the point. Very few actors since Keaton have had the kind of incredible bodily control mixed with great comic timing that Chan has. Add to that the incredible charm he brings to all the roles I've seen him in and you have a very enjoyable actor to watch. The action sequences in this film are some of the best I have seen come out of Hong Kong, and the humor is somewhat more evolved then the average kung fu picture. As another commenter mentioned, the final battle sequence is incredible. This one is a good addition to anyones collection.

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Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain (1983)

8/10

This is a freaky bit of fun

19 April 1999

This film illustrates the major difference between Western and Eastern fantasy films. A western version of this same film would attempt for some level of realism, some element of grittiness and angst. This film ignores realism entirely. Hey, its a fantasy already! Swordsman and monks float and dive in aerial battle, an old man's eyebrows are deadly weapons, whole armies of guys in brightly colored uniforms run about attacking each other for very poorly explained reasons, and blue eyed jawa clones swoop about the inside of evil temples. Although the ending is almost unintelligible, the first hour of the film is just one cool scene after another. The editing of this film would certainly make an epileptic have a seizure, but after five minutes you stop caring about the plot and dialogue and just start enjoying the wacky surreal action. I wish I could see this one on the big screen.

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The Matrix (1999)

9/10

Astounding style and visuals, with story lagging behind

30 March 1999

I don't know the Wachowski brothers, but I know what movies they watch. Go see the Matrix and you will too. Do you like Hong Kong kung fu action pics, such as Iron Monkey or any Jet Li film? So do the Wachowskis. They obviously knew who in Hong Kong to hire for their wire work and stunt choreography, because the hand to hand fight scenes in this film are excellent, and led to applause in the preview audience I saw this film with. Do you like John Woo's best Chow Yun Fat films, such as Hardboiled and the Killer? The Wachowskis do as well. There is enough flying shell casings, exploding concrete walls, and 2 handed gun play in this film for the most die hard Woo fan. Do you like Japanese Cyberpunk Anime, such as Ghost in the Shell or Akira? Those Wachowskis must love it as well. The storyline in this film seems straight out of Tokyo, and has that same "I'm not quite sure I understand what is going on, but it sure is neat" quality that much anime has. The special effects (which are very well done) are designed to generate the feel of anime in a live action film.

While the Wachowskis are not quite as good at any of the elements of this film then the true oriental masters are, they have succeeded admirably in synthesizing those elements together into one exciting film. If you are going to see this one, see it on the biggest screen you can, because on video (unless you have a home theater set up more expensive than the GNP of Belgium) this movie will simply not carry your interest. Without the stunning visuals and style to distract you, some of the plot holes and Keanu Reeves acting (Jah be praised he has to do very little acting) will be much more obvious.

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The Bad Sleep Well (1960)

9/10

Kurosawa does Nippon Noir with style

22 March 1999

The Bad Sleep Well is a great film, with excellent acting from all the actors, especially my favorite Japanese actor, Takashi Shimura as Moriyama. Kurosawa shows in this film that no one can or will ever top his skill at doing tableau shots. The wedding scene in the beginning of the film, where the reporters are standing just outside the doors of the reception hall, commenting on the goings on within, is fantastic. The ending seems very abrupt, almost as if they ran out of time while making the film, keeping this one out of the same league as other Kurosawa classics (7 Samurai, Stray Dog, Yojinbo).

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The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

7/10

Quiet fun from Ealing

22 March 1999

This film is the best of the Ealing comedies with Alec Guinness that I have seen. While the pacing is sedate, there is a lot of genuine wit in the film. Although there are few belly laughs, there are numerous chuckles. The chase scene near the end of the film is quite funny. This film seems to be a prototype for the many "heist" films that have followed.

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