Kronos-8

I thought I'd seen every schlocky 60s drive-in flick made, or, at least was familiar with them. Then this little title popped up on TCM's Friday night Underground series this past week. When it was over, all I could say was, "How come I haven't seen this one before?"

To list the many joys of this movie would take far too long. Let's just say that this movie has everything, and more. To wit:

1) Lon Chaney Jr. 2) Lon Chaney Jr. singing the title song. 3) Cannibal children. 4) Cannibal relatives living in the basement. 5) Carol Ohmart 6) Carol Ohmart in a negligee. 7) Carol Ohmart in a negligee being chased around the woods at midnight. 8) Sid Haig playing a loony in short pants. 9) Uncomfortable yet unavoidable impure thoughts about a certain "spider-baby" 10) The beginning, middle, and end.

See this wonderful, funny, even touching movie with someone you love.

My twenty-something nephew said this movie was awesome. So, when Costco had it for eight bucks, I figured, why not? If you weren't/aren't a fan of the TV series on which it was based ("Firefly", which evidently was canceled after one season for good reason), "Serenity" won't do much but confuse and bore you. Hipness for hipness' sake, a convoluted version of the English language to speak dialog that isn't really worth hearing in the first place, predictable plot progression -- all of this in a film that goes on way too long for what it does. Some fight scenes are worth it. But, again, if you weren't a "Firefly" viewer -- and I wasn't -- you'll feel as if you came in during the middle of the story, not the beginning.

Only for fans and geeks. 4/10