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Reviews
Avgrunden (2023)
Meh
The production values are fine.
But I actually stopped watching this with fifteen minutes left.
I just don't care. This thing throws every cliché in the mix.
This is like an American TV disaster movie from the 70s, OK, but more up to par, than those.
This is very tedious, on so many levels.
I just don't care. So, now, I must keep on typing, to finish the required spaces.
Um, don't bother with this? It's very lame. But I will continue to type, over and over again.
What do I say, now? This movie is not worth watching. Just watch "Twisters." Seriously. Here we keep going, almost there. Finally made it.
Devil's Island (2021)
It's all been said
Yes, this is a movie with no true ending.
Unlike others, I did not find the lead actress effective. I kept wanting to yell at the TV, "Close your mouth." (Meaning, don't spend every scene with your mouth hanging open. It's not a good look. Very low class.)
The location is beautiful - I'd certainly love to live on that island.
OK, folks, those are not crew members running around in the house, in the background. It is intentional.
I am guessing that the film was heavily edited, for some absolutely stupid "reason." The script couldn't originally have been this vague, I would think.
Production value is fine. (However, that bright light shining on the "rock," where she shot the guy at the end...ludicrous, but deemed necessary, I assume.)
Skip this one.
Trap (2024)
Are you KIDDING me?
Shyamalan is slumming here. This is a hot mess. Is he trying to do some riff on early 80s De Palma?
This film fails at every level. Where do I start? I really won't try, much.
Haley Mills?? Love her, but what the ___ is she doing in this?
Hartnett's performance is cringe. Likely the fault of the director. (Why does he take off his shirt in the final scenes? "Hot dad bod"?) His eyebrow-raising is hilarious.
Shyamalan gives himself an extended cameo...in THIS train wreck? And, of course, he packs the flick with family members.
The FBI would NEVER risk the lives of 26,000 people like this.
What's with that stage lift, opening up in the MIDDLE of an aisle? No stadium would allow it. Um, people would fall INTO it.
A "popular" rock star's limo would always be followed by a police escort.
A zillion things to point out. But enough.
This is a disaster. What's with all of the 6 point ratings? This is REALLY a career embarrassment.
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Martha Mason, Movie Star (1957)
Terrible
I don't get the raving reviews. This thing is horrible.
Is this some lame attempt at "humor"?
The leading actress comes across as a screeching shrew. Her performance might have worked on stage...but on film? Unbearable. It is cartoonish. Hammy, and ludicrous. I understand that it is intentional, but for what reason?
The script - excruciating.
I've seen every episode of this series, and this ranks as one of the worst.
I am puzzled why our reviews need to be so long. I really don't have much else to say about this godawful episode. It dates terribly. As do many episodes. Particularly regarding women.
Alone (2020)
A hot mess
Technically, it is fine.
But the plot is ridiculous. Inept in so many ways. One cliché after another.
Within the first twenty-five minutes, you just want to "scream at the screen." The lead female character does one idiotic thing after another. "CALL THE POLICE."
Did U-Haul put in money for this?
The Stalker casting is REALLY bad. He looks like a "Grapes Nuts" commercial reject. How does he know EVERY place that she will be?
The "chapters" are pointless.
What's with the helicopter? The wife of The Stalker called the police.?
This film is really sad. It took four production companies to make this happen?
American Outlaws (2001)
I worked on this thing
It was a hard shoot. The heat, the tantrums by LM.
The crew jokingly called it "Jesse James, 90210."
We spent a lot of time in a small East Texas town - it was excruciating. Nothing to do after filming, but hang out in the Days Inn (then) bar. It was a dry county, so we had to join a club. You could buy liquor in a store, but not a "bar."
Farrell was a pleasure. Totally nice guy. I remember sitting in the above-mentioned bar, with Dalton, conversing with a female prison guard.
However, the producers of this film did something I have not seen in "modern" times. They left the entire second unit out of the end credits. Unbelievable.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Night Caller (1964)
One of the weaker episodes.
The plot is ludicrous. Even though it was filmed sixty years ago, there is no way a father would allow his twelve year-old son to hang out with a twenty year-old creepy guy, whom the step-mother has accused of being a peeping tom. (Bruce Dern is appropriately creepy in that role, but too old to play it.)
The lead actress chews the scenery, but I am sure that the lame script is the source of the performance.
The two, smirking police officers are ridiculous.
OK, the interior home set is a kitsch nightmare - really overdone to reflect the personality of the step-mother? It is obviously a repurposed set. They cram the master/main bedroom on the first floor?! Next to the living room? The backlot exterior home is presented as a large two-story house. Again, the layout is a nod to the script, I assume.
Reviewers should have the sense NOT to mention a "surprise twist" in their headlines, because then it is NOT a surprise to anyone who even just OPENS the user review page(s). Eye roll.
Overall, one to skip. The Universal "main square" makes an appearance. Now too closely associated with "Back to the Future.
The Menendez Brothers (2024)
Terrible
This is an extremely low-end production. There are hundreds of sources for this info, so why watch such tripe?
It includes a BUNCH of pointless "talking heads." People with ZERO connection to the incidents.
This is LAZY, in terms of a documentary.
It's actually quite sad, that N-flix is even showing this.
This is truly bottom-of-the-barrel "journalism."
This case has already been examined so extensively. WHY is some "Hard Copy" version even required, at this point?
A certain streamer is getting quite desperate for content, apparently.
Don't watch. Skip this. Watch anything else on the subject. You are not cattle.
Salem's Lot (2024)
Very much a dud.
I can see why they unloaded this thing on Max. It's definitely a lower-tier Stephen King adaptation.
The casting is incredibly weak. Distractingly so. Technically, it is adequate.
I have made it an hour into the film, and I have no desire to finish. The series "Castle Rock" did a much better "reimagining" a few years back, and of course, I remember the late 70s miniseries.
This reminds me of an early 80s King flick. Very paint-by-numbers, and a toss-away.
The first half has a confusing section, where I thought the lead actor was in several scenes, when it was actually another performer. Interchangeable.
Did the crucifixes "glow" in the novel? I don't remember. It looks silly.
All around, very "meh."
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Odd
All style, and no substance.
And quite a bit of cartoonish "acting." It's one cliché after another, with Guillermo de Toro's fingerprints on everything.
"Garish" would be a proper term for this flick. It often comes across as an MTV 80s music video throwback.
Back to casting...the "jock bullies"? The worst.
Also, when a guy is running around with a baseball bat in a drive-in (1968), we are to believe that not a SINGLE patron in adjoining cars would turn their heads, or step in?
This project makes the old Hammer films feel almost M. Night Shyamalan-ish.
There is nothing engaging here. It feels a bit "Creepshow"-y. If that's your thing - go for it. I checked out after thirty minutes.
In the Shadow of the Moon (2019)
Terrible
What the %$#@ is this script? It is ludicrously complicated, pointless, illogical.
Technically it is adequate. The performances, not so much
It doesn't necessarily feel low-budget, but it has many of the ingredients.
The streamer is really digging low, for this to be dragged up from 2019. I certainly cannot recommend this film. It's basically a "direct to video" from the 90s.
It appears that the filmmaker(s) believe it is confusing enough, so that the viewer will just give up, and not question the plot. The ending is just weak. It's nonsense.
Granted, a lot of this tripe can be attributed to the actors'/writers' strikes in 2023. Lack of new content results in dumpster dives.
No thanks.
Accidente (2024)
Yikes, again
This thing is definitely a basic "telenovela" on steroids, and with a decent budget. The histrionics are very, very "cringe." I realize that it is a cultural form of entertainment, but I find the style WAY too over-the-top.
At times, the characters verge on cartoonish buffoons.
The plot is overly complicated. TEN episodes?? This series needs a thorough editing session.
Casting is a bit muddled. Several of the performers look a LOT alike, so it can be confusing for a few episodes, as to who is who. A bit more set-up with the families would have been nice.
Alberto Guerra as "Charro"? Too much. Ridiculous at times. Is this typecasting? I am not familiar with the actor, but I'm guessing he plays similar parts. Made-to-order.
I cannot recommend.
Winter Kills (1979)
Convoluted mess
No wonder this thing bombed. You need a flow chart to understand what the $#@% is going on. It is overly complicated, to the point of being indecipherable.
The performances are over the top, with John Huston being cartoonish. Jeff Bridges doesn't fare much better.
I understand that the source novel is NOT a "black comedy." Unlike this film, which fails miserably in its attempt as such.
I saw the original, edited theatrical version, not the 1983 restored reissue. I'm not sure that it would make a difference. The plot is apparently an intentional experiment, to see just how much an audience can take.
A miserable film. By all means, skip this.
Skagit (2021)
Another yuck
I lasted twenty minutes with this flick. The quality is low, and the script is garbage. It comes across as some "elevated" student film.
It's important to pull in the viewer as soon as you can, as a filmmaker, but this thing easily alienates everyone within minutes.
I have a feeling that the director fancies himself very "unique," with what is described as a film about "alternate realities." I call it gibberish.
The biography of the director is self-written, and quite "cringe."
How this stuff even gets on a streaming service, is puzzling. It just reeks of student-filmmaking - I should know, I went to film school in the 80s - I am familiar with the genre.
Ugh.
Underground (2023)
Yuck
OK, I lasted all of thirty minutes. That entire time consisted of a gaggle of characters babbling and giggling. It is excruciating. Absolutely nothing happens. At ALL. Just recorded, pointless dialogue.
If your idea of a chilling thrill, is watching a bunch of bachelorette party members never shut up, this is for you.
This is really inept. Just because you CAN make a POV film, does NOT mean that you should. These things are a dime-a-dozen, so if you choose to actually film one, TRY to be original, and do NOT just record ad-libbed garbage.
This "improve" is pablum. My recommendation is to skip this one. There are PLENTY of POV/found footage flicks from which to choose.
&^%$, these characters are obnoxious. I may just hang on a bit, to watch them get trapped "underground." THAT will be a pleasure.
OK, watched till the end. Totally LAME. And what's with that weird ending?
The Twilight Zone: You Might Also Like (2020)
Pointless
It's episodes like this one, which likely prevented the series from moving forward.
This is idiotic, and weird for the sake of being weird.
Yeah, yeah, I "get" the sledgehammered theme. I see the (ahem) Easter "eggs" from the episode of the original series, "To Serve Man" (1962). But, this is so convoluted.
Consumerism destroys humans, OK. But then why throw in the cannibalism of the original episode? Exactly WHY do these aliens want to destroy us, if not to eat us?
This episode is style over substance.
Question: Once it becomes obvious that the "eggs" are destroying everyone, and spaceships are arriving, why are people still rabidly going after the eggs? Oh, yeah, "consumerism." Give it a rest. VERY lame.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: The World's Oldest Motive (1965)
Good episode
Jones and Freeman give great performances, although a variation on almost every film/TV show they have ever done.
At least the conclusion explained what was bugging me the entire time that I was watching it. HOW would Loggia's hitman KNOW which men were in the need of his services? It was somewhat distracting.
The ending surprised me. I didn't suspect that. (By the way, reviewers, STOP putting in your headlines, "What a great TWIST ending," as then IT IS NO LONGER A TWIST for people who haven't seen it yet. D'OH Use your brains.)
LOVE the "girlfriend's" Mid-Century apartment complex. I wonder if it's still there. (Interior is obviously a set.) I would SO live in a place like that.
The Twilight Zone: The Long Morrow (1964)
Um
What exactly did he eat and drink for almost forty years? That is not addressed.
Also, any human being would go insane being alone in a confined space for that long.
People are fawning about how romantic this episode is, but the science of it doesn't hold up.
Hartley is quite good in her role. (I worked with her on a mini-series in the early 90s, and she was a very kind person.)
I immediately thought of the short story, "The Gift of the Magi," and was interested to find out that it was actually the inspiration for this script by Serling.
I realize that I could Google it, but I wonder when the concept of suspended animation for space travel, was first introduced.
The Resort (2022)
Don't understand the good reviews
Incredibly disappointing. After the first 4.5 episodes of intriguing plot, the whole thing derails into a ridiculous, convoluted mess.
It becomes cartoonish, with characters doing utterly stupid things
Why do the two "kids" get in the car with the deranged Alex? It is their choice. He eventually leaves them at a remote fruit stand, and then somehow, they decide to go to the author's house. They don't return to the resort? How did they do that, when their transportation had left.
The whole book thing just gets silly. All of the scenes with the author are odd.
Then, quite bizarrely, this series turns into a lame, low-budget 80s era "Indiana Jones" rip-off.
I forced myself to finish it, and by the end, I was howling with laughter.
Grave Encounters 2 (2012)
"Precious"
This flick is lame beyond belief. Too preciously "meta."
The first five minutes? Barely bearable.
WHO are these horrible characters?
The first film is bad enough. It has no particular ending. Sooooo, they decide to stretch it even further.
It's about as bad as you would guess. All "over the place."
Are they film school students? Or "wanna-be" rejects? Hard to tell.
This is "cringe." It feels like a joke. A very bad one.
I am surprised that these two "found footage" (really?) films are on some people's "best" lists.
Nope.
This is trying WAY too hard. "Scream" it isn't.
Don't cast two @#$&&*% as your leads. It's not entertaining.
I lasted twenty minutes.
Nightlight (2015)
Avoid this
I lasted about fifteen minutes. This THING is populated with incredibly obnoxious kids, the usual prerequisite for this type of film.
It's filled with idiotic, callous dialogue.
Basically screeching conversations.
For whom was this intended? Middle schoolers?
What is the deal with the flashlight run on the train tracks? WHO would do that?
WHY is there a camera in a flashlight?
In the short period of time that I watched this junk, the characters continue to do stupid things. Whoever "wrote" this is talentless. Or did they allow the "actors" to improvise?
The casting is TERRIBLE. These are not "real" people, but caricatures.
Whatever the case, skip this garbage. I watch hundreds of flicks from this genre. This is lame.
Ratter (2015)
SKIP
I don't mind a slow film, but this thing is TEDIOUS.
It is not "found footage," per se, but somewhat POV. Several shots are obviously NOT from any equipment, so it breaks the established format?
And what is with the constant freezing and jumping shots?? It's annoying as &$#@, and totally unnecessary. I thought that it was either my server or streamer, and I rebooted both. Nope. It's some kind of obnoxious creative choice. Very difficult to tolerate.
And how, exactly, is the stalker accessing all of her equipment, when she changes her passwords. And entering her upper level NYC/Brooklyn apartment? I know that locks can be picked, but...
The ambient sound is ridiculous. Granted, you don't want to hear honking horns throughout a film, but that is Brooklyn. It's NOT quiet.
Technically, it is adequate, but believability plummets as the LONG minutes drag by.
I do NOT care for pets being killed in a film. It's lame and cruel. Unnecessary.
As many have stated, there is no end to this film. I don't recognize the stalker. And portraying this as some lame message about being spied on, is ridiculous.
Do. Not. Watch.
Skew (2011)
I actually enjoyed this one
A "POV film," rather than "found footage."
For once, the characters are not obnoxious jerks. That earns it several "stars."
My main question is, "What happened to Eva?" People seen with distorted faces on The Camera DIE, they don't just disappear.
When they are brought in, to the police station, why doesn't Simon show them the footage he has, of the motorcyclist arriving as they leave the convenience store?
The Trivia section states that some footage was added, and some cut. I don't feel that the coyote scene contributes much...the deer/buck scene makes more sense, by introducing the busload of tourists..
Overall, the film intrigues me. I would recommend it, if you don't mind a VERY slow build-up.
The guy running in the field next to the car is a bit creepy.
Hollows Grove (2014)
Don't bother
I am not sure WHY a "fake" haunting hunters group would allow a documentary filmmaker to expose their lies. Isn't that odd? These shows count on people believing their BS.
I normally despise the jerk characters who populate these "found footage" flicks, and this is the requisite casting.
The manner in which the camera guy for the "show" (NOT the "documentary guy") is filming them, is quite illogical. He is always too close. It doesn't work that way, when filming. Very sloppy. The camera keeps pointing within INCHES of faces. Not how it works.
The "humor" is tiresome. Lame.
Blah, blah, blah. As I always say, "Just because you can make a 'found footage,' doesn't mean that you should."
I had fifteen minutes left, and I was laughing my #$$ off. I quit.
Don't bother.
Altar (2016)
Just NO
The first few scenes feel rather pointless. If a crazy guy knocks on your hotel room door, and says "Don't go on the hike," then you know what? DON'T GO ON THE HIKE. The bride arrives at the hotel in her wedding gown, so I assume that the ceremony was close by.
Granted, the whole "honeymoon" scenario isn't significant these days. Most people live together for a while, so a hike isn't improbable. But were they doing it with friends from the wedding? Plus, one of two said the hike was canceled anyway, and they were alone. In the snow. In the dark. In the woods. Then a bunch of slaughtered people. Who were they?
Switch to the group going camping. WHY is this film student kid filming the ride to the campsite? Mundane, improvised blabbering. I was a film student. I wouldn't have done that. This stuff is so common in the genre. Conveniently, the car dies. "This happens all the time." Then WHY take the #$%@ vehicle on a CAMPING trip?
(By the way, this technically isn't "found footage," but a "POV Film.")
The "ax guy" is cartoonish. It immediately starts feeling like some trashy slasher film. Once again, if somebody approaches you with an ax, and says not to camp, YOU DON'T CAMP! Tell him you're just getting your friends, and LEAVE.
Then they let some guy in an orange shirt, IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, convince them to camp "at his site." And then he and his wife camp with them. WHAT? This is stupid garbage.
The young brother/future film student? That performance is awkward. The character is borderline Asperger's in the script. (The actor has ADHD.) It just feels wrong. Manipulative. Just "no." Weird.
SO much of this is spontaneous dialogue - and it DOESN'T work. So banal. This is BAD. The "director" has done a bunch of "shorts." Code for inexperience.
I have watched a TON of these things. One of the worst of the genre.
Ultimately, the epitome of "stupid people doing stupid things." Just because you can make one of these, doesn't mean that you should.
Stopped at the hour point. It doesn't deserve my attention.
DO NOT watch this thing.
EDIT: I decided to watch this till the end. It makes ZERO sense. Yet ANOTHER "hot mess" in the genre. Incredibly inept. Insulting. How did they get funding for this? (It obviously didn't cost much, I guess.)