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Under the Banner of Heaven (2022)
Boring Boring Boring Long Long Long
The first episode gets you thinking that this miniseries MIGHT be an interesting murder mystery. It also boasts a strong cast so you get sucked into continuing to watch. BIG MISTAKE. Oh my gosh this is such a long long borrrrrrring drag of a series. At most this should've been a 2 hour movie and even that would be too much in my opinion.
You are absolutely overwhelmed with LDS Mormonism and it's tenets and history which i don't give a darn about. I'm okay with having that as the background of the story, but it absolutely dominates and is nauseating unless you actually are a Mormon I suppose. If you are not, like me, then this is one huge borefest.
Skip this if you value your time. Almost anything else is more interesting.
Dune: Part Two (2024)
Best Sci fi ever??? Get the heck out of here
Some people actually believe that this is the best Sci fi movie ever. Wow. Did they ever see Sci before? This is a decent movie with good, not great special effects. The story is ok but a little contrived. Some appropriation of Arab Muslim culture and set it in outer space. The whole mystical aspect is something you like or not. I didn't. It was just phony. I never read the original novel. I don't have any preconceived notions about what DUNE should be, but it does NOT deserve the lofty rating and ranking it has on IMDb. Expect an above average film and you'll probably be satisfied with your viewing. An all time great film this is not.
Next Goal Wins (2023)
Michael Fassbender can't save this lame movie
I'm a huge Michael Fassbender fan and love most all of his films. I have no idea why on Earth he would sully his career by acting in this lame excuse for a film. I'm convinced he was going to take a South Pacific vacation and decided to fit this in his schedule. It WANTS to be funny, but from the beginning, you are assaulted by a series of phony jokes and lame gags along with some pro-trans propaganda. It is not original or interesting in any way unless you're 5 years old. I have no idea who would be giving this film such high ratings. It is truly a waste of 2 hours. Take my advice and skip this trash.
Dark Places, Deadly Illusions (2021)
Lurid trash but the rating is too low
Yes this is lurid trash that has a disappointing and unimaginative ending. It wants to be a poor man's Basic Instinct, but doesn't measure up. But. The ratings here on IMDb are wayyyyyyy too low. This is not a 1 rating film. A 1 rated film is unwatchable and this is not the case here. You are engaged as the audience trying to figure out all the possible twists and turns so you are never bored. Sure the denouement is not great, but it falls within the average category and that's what this film deserves, an average rating of 5. People giving this a one rating are simply venting and not giving a true accurate rating.
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
Who's giving this garbage a 10????
I seriously think AI bots must be giving this lousy series high ratings and glowing reviews. Hard to believe sentient beings could feel that way about this steaming pile.
The premise is good, but that's it. The casting is a joke. Only Steve Martin has some redeeming qualities along with some of the extra characters, but the main cast is mainly awful esp Selena Gomez and Martin Short who go together like oil and water. Selena may have talents, but acting is not one of them. And Martin Short, not sure if he was ever funny, but he's not now I can assure you. The rest of the show is mainly used to develop its Hollywood diversity bona fides.
Griselda (2024)
SV knocks it out of the park!!!
I never thought Sophia Vegara could play a serious role as she does in Griselda. She is a revelation. Absolutely terrific. You can't take your eyes off of her as she lifts the whole narrative around her. Just awesome. She should win awards for her portrayal.
A lot of people reviewing are grousing about the accuracy of the story and they are not wrong. Griselda is portrayed in a very sympathetic light and we know the real woman was not a sexy stunner like Sophia. Even with the heavy makeup, Sophia is drop dead gorgeous. Butttt, suspend your need for 100 percent accuracy and there is still a ton to like about this miniseries.
Run to Me (2016)
Ok Lifetimey movie
It's a watchable Lifetime like movie even for a guy. Nothing special but not boring either. The therapist as a killer was so laughable, especially the scene where she just snaps a big strong man's neck like nothing. I mean that was sooooo phony it really took away from the film. At least have her shoot him. Poison him, stab him. But break his neck with her bare hands????? Laughable in its denial of physics. But the acting is not bad and the husband is quite funny actually. The film does have interesting dialog. All in all worth a watch. Just suspend your disbelief for a little while ..........
Malignant (2021)
What a crap fest
I mean it has some suspense, not much though. The concept could've worked if it tried to be as realistic as possible, but when the director decided to make the antagonist a superhuman ninja warrior???? Omg. I mean why? How? Physically how does "Gabriel" have superpowers? If it's the sisters body, how does a woman become stronger than 10 men? I mean the whole darn story is so phony I don't know who this film might appeal to? Some teenage boys probably have voted this movie to where the current IMDB ratings are, but, believe me, this is pure trash and a total waste of time. I personally think my 3 rating is too generous to be honest.
Poltergeist (2015)
They're NOT here!!!!
The original Poltergeist was a horror classic, so this film had very little chance of being able to stand up to the quality of that one. It did NOT. Despite having some genuinely great actors (Rosemarie Dewitt, Sam Rockwell, Jared Harris) in the cast, the dialogue is forced and contrived. You don't believe for one second that the family is in anyway spooked by what's happening. It's like they are trying to see how well they memorized the dialogue from the original. That's it.
There were so many instances that I was just shaking my head saying, wow, they did this same scene 40 years ago and it was sooooo much better then.
Perhaps if this were an original film, I'd rate it higher than a 4, but given the weight of trying to remake a classic, a true fail.
Scream VI (2023)
Well, at least it's diverse...
I mean that is the main pitch some Hollywood exec made for these latest Scream films. Let's rehash the old films with little to no originality but cast every underrepresented minority possible. Ok I guess. Unlike the last 2 films, this one IS watchable though it is not a Scream movie in any sense. Those films had a healthy dose of comedic element to them that made even the killings kinda fun because they weren't being taken seriously. This movie is a generic slasher movie albeit with a larger budget than most which leads to better production value and it shows. But as far as plot and acting??? This is just another B-movie level effort. I absolutely loved the first 3 Scream movies and love the Ghostface killer character as a true Hollywood icon, but the bloom is definitely off the rose for this franchise sadly.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Jessica Biel wowza !!!
This version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn't really break any new ground. Unlike the original , this one does have real actors; however, the plot is pretty thin and missing some important elements that are notable in their absence. I mean there is no actual allusion to the cannibalism that is an important horror factor in this series. The scares are run of the mill and it's not a gory movie at all really.
The REAL notable part of this film is Jessica Biel who, in this role, might be the sexiest person ever to appear in a film. I mean wowwwww. Looking at her on the screen, you'll never be bored. That's for sure.
State Like Sleep (2018)
Leaves you wanting more....
First off, the IMDB rating is too low. This film is better than the current 4.4 rating. I personally gave it a 6 because it is certainly not a bad film. It does not have a resolution that is satisfactory however and that is the worst part of it.
The film is actually visually appealing and the cast is talented and handles their roles well. Michael Shannon rarely goes wrong and he's good in this film if underutilized. Katharine Waterson is often very good, but I'm not sure she was the best fit for this film.
The plot is admittedly too complex in that it is searching for something the audience can hold onto but never does accomplish that, but the movie is NOT boring despite what some reviewers claim. Slow moving? Sure. But not boring.
Inside (2023)
Worst piece of garbage ever made?????
Thought this "might" be an interesting watch.....OMG was I wrong and i'll never get that 2 hours back again. Literally one of the worst movies ever ever ever made. It is such utter garbage that words cannot do it justice. It is completely irredeemable in every possible way. I seriously blame the people who actually gave this film anything other than a one for their misleading ratings and the people who gave this movie a ten????? Well I'm sure there are fine mental health professionals near where you live, please seek help if you think this film has anything good to say about it. An all time worst.
Soft & Quiet (2022)
I liked it
Yes. This is the type of movie a person can reasonably like or hate and not be wrong necessarily. I actually liked it because I'm a huge fan of "real time" filmmaking. I can just appreciate the attention to detail by everyone involved to pull that off. Now the plot was kinda ridiculous but not completely. The women probably represent a lot of viewpoints that exist in America like it or not. The actresses all were quite good esp the lead. I was engaged in the story the whole time as I tried to see where the stupid and misguided actions of the women would lead to their eventual downfall. In my opinion this film is worth watching for the right audience.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Written by a kindergartner ???
The premise of this film could've lent itself to a pretty funny dark comedy. The cast has actors that are accomplished and the scenery is nice on the big screen. But the WRITING. Man it is as lame as I've ever witnessed in a movie. It's just so mind-numbingly dumb and above all NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
Elizabeth Banks is a decent enough actress, but she might want to give up the whole director thing. To allow a film bearing your name to have such a terrible terrible script and storyline is not something to build a new career on. Skip this big pile of steaming bear crap if you value your precious time.
Perfect Sense (2011)
Public Service Annoucement
Don't watch this film if you are depressed.......it will only make things worse.
Ok now that that's done, the movie. It's not bad. It's well done. Ewan McGregor is one of my favorite actors and Eva Green is sexy as heck. They have very good chemistry and anytime the film features them and their relationship it works well. The premise is eerie in how it sort of depicts a Covid-19 like pandemic 10 years prior to the actual start of one. This one is obvious much worse in terms of human suffering IMO.
The Brits make very thought provoking sci-fi (think Children of Men) so you will be engaged in the plot. This one is a downer though, so be prepared.
King Kong (2005)
The BEST fantasy adventure movie ever made
Can't stand any of that Harry Potter or LOTR crap, so don't even get me started on those films. Jurassic Park films are good, but this is something else. A CLASSIC story that never gets old how many times it's told .... Beauty killing the Beast. King Kong has always been a classic, but this is the best version. Terrific action and adventure with stunning visuals. Skull Island is so atmospheric and wonderful. It makes you dream if such a place actually existed on Earth, how appealing it would be to visit such a Lost World.
Aside from the visually stunning display, the ensemble cast is very good. Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody are two of the best actors around and they bring plenty to the story with a solid supporting crew. This is the BIG ONE of the Kong movies. Don't miss it.
Judgment Night (1993)
Voice of reason
I had to leave a review here to be the voice of reason. I have no idea where all of these high ratings and good reviews are coming from for this utterly ridiculous and stupid movie. My God I could not wait for it to end. It keeps going and going and going with no end in sight for such a razor thin and bogus plot. The acting is horrendous. The soundtrack is annoying af. The story is nonsensical. It also has not aged well. It looks so crappy on the screen too.
I guess bots must be generating good reviews on IMDb to push up ratings for awful films. I'll do my best to push this one down to the 1-3 range where it belongs.
Christine (2016)
Very well done film
Rebecca Hall really really does shine in this powerful film depicting the slow descent to oblivion by Christine Chubbuck till her truly tragic end. She conveys the complex set of emotions that someone experiencing the powerful effects of depression endures.
Aside from her role, the supporting cast is terrific and, despite this film being a tragedy, there are actually some unexpected comedic moments in the film as well. All in all this is a really well done film that is really interesting and actually can be viewed multiple times, each time revealing more layers of complexity that you might have missed earlier. Definitely one to catch.
The Vanishing (2018)
People giving this a 10 are trippin'
Average movie at best. Some moments of interesting tension are drowned out by long long stretches of true boredom. I really like Gerard Butler, but his character just doesn't make a whole lot of sense the way he just goes over the deep end.
I wasn't expecting much from a lighthouse movie to be honest. I mean how much is there to work with. A sausage party without a female in sight...lol. I was hoping for much more based on some of the reviews I read esp the number of 10 reviews (wow what are these reviewer's thinking), but it was ultimately a disappointment and I would recommend skipping it if you can.
London Has Fallen (2016)
Pile of crap
Woof. This was a real disappointment. Good actors couldn't save this flaming pile. The plot is so laughably moronic and unbelievable that suspending disbelief is impossible. You can't ignore the stupidity. The President of the United States has less security than a B movie star. London basically has no other people than terrorists and our handful of heroes. A plot so
intricate that not even a superpower could pull it off is implemented by some ragtag bad guys. I like Gerard Butler and Aaron Eckhardt a lot as actors. I'll have to give them a pass on this stinker. Skip it if your wise and save your time.
The Clovehitch Killer (2018)
Lots of totally bogus bad reviews
Yeah there are some small plot holes and the ending could be something that a person might not agree is the best resolution to the film, but blasting the whole thing, ignoring the real tension and the excellent acting by giving the film 1s and 2s???? Nah. That's just being a hater for some unknown reason. I'm sure some people wanted to see more blood and violence and jump scares, but this was an intelligent film; slowly developing to the conclusion that is, granted, controversial, but doesn't make this a bad film at all.
It's definitely worth a viewing. A really well done film with some minor flaws that won't prevent you from enjoying it.
Arctic Void (2022)
AVOID the Void
Huh??? What was that??? The reviews and ratings for this stinker are pretty accurate. Beautiful scenery and a promising start are totally wasted on the lack of any semblance of a plot and a nonsensical ending. By the end of the film you are watching the clock and counting down the seconds till it mercifully ends.
The actors are actually not at fault in my opinion. They seem to deliver as much as they reasonably can. The writing, or lack thereof, is the real culprit here. Indeed it seems like a waste to have traveled to such a remote place on Earth and have zero idea about the movie you're trying to make.
Skip this cinematic brain freeze.
Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Just horrid
I may not be a Brit, but as a Yank I can really appreciate British cinema and television for its outstanding quality in general. In particular, I enjoy the British sense of humor and how their comic films reflect that. Boy did this one miss the boat. This was the final film of the "trilogy" that I saw and it was EASILY the worst. While Hot Fuzz had some genuinely funny scenes, this one was just a bunch of juvenile antics. I like Simon Pegg's comedic skills, but he could not lift this one, unlike the 2 others.
I find these 3 movies to be highly highly overrated and would not recommend watching them if you value your time. This has been a public service announcement.
X (2022)
Atmospheric but ultimately lacking
There are a lot of good qualities possessed by X. The cinematography, the atmospheric vibe, interesting cast, witty dialogue, and a story you can get into. Basically a modern version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre with superior moviemaking skills. However, while I DO rate this film as better than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it still falls short. It could've been better with a better set of villains. The old couple just lacked any sense of credibility. All they served to do was gross us out with their desire to get naked all the time!!! At least Leatherface was a credible and scary villain.
Still it is definitely a movie to check out.