Reviews
The Ellen Show (2001)
The best show no-one ever saw
This was a great show, and no matter how much I tried to get people to watch it, I guess my grass roots campaign wasn't quite enough. Canceled. I think that the network really missed the boat on this one. Ellen Degeneres is hands down one of the funniest people alive, and if CBS had promoted this show it would have been a huge success.
What ever happened to giving shows a chance to obtain an audience? Remember that Seinfeld had no audience when it started! Plus, what's with moving the shows around? Even when somebody likes a show they never know when it might be on (I couldn't find the show Norm if my life had depended on it... even with a TVGuide).
The networks have decided to pump up the worthless <garbage> so much to get people to watch them and then they leave good shows to fend for themselves. Something has got to change, or the network shows are going to continue spiraling downward.
La strada (1954)
Great performances, confused plot
The amazing part of this film were the performances by players Giulietta Masina, Anthony Quinn, and Richard Basehart. Each were fantastic in their emotional performances, even the young Masina. Moments in the film hark back to the times of silent film with wide eyes telling more than the language alone.
However, the story line is too confused. Masina shifts from each emotion as soon as she has it. While this shows great acting ability, it became tiresome. There is also very little that actually happens in the film. The introduction and resolution of "the fool" are pretty much all there is. I wish that these actors and actresses had a better script to work with.
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Good like a banana split?
I'll start out with what I didn't like, then I'll get to what I did. Today's analogy will be the banana split.
At the bottom of a banana split, you get a whole mess of goo that really isn't as good as it was before it melted. This I would consider to be the beginning of the film. Now, you can't have a banana split without the goo, but I like to keep it to a minimum. During one of the first scenes, namely the dance party, I was extremely worried that I was going to hate this film. I didn't, but it scared the hell out of me. That scene really didn't fit the rest of the movie, either, and a good thing, too. Kubrick over lighted the backdrops flooding the lens, and I felt the actor dancing with Nicole was really poor. Sadly, also, I didn't like Kidman's drunk behavior, especially as an introduction to this character who turns out to be nothing like that. Anyway, that was the only scene that really bothered me.
Then on most banana splits you've got the pineapple. I've never liked pineapple, but some people do. This film's pineapple flavoring mostly included, the score (if you can call it that) and the film. The score had some individual simply pounded on a piano key which really took me out of the film. I guess the point of the this was to keep me uncomfortable, but instead it separated me from the action on the screen and didn't add anything to it. Also, the film image would be clear and colorful, and then grainy, and then old looking... This may have been an artifact from the fact that the film was made over a period of several years or maybe it was purposeful, but it bothered me.
The last problem that you can have with banana splits is too much chocolate. I like chocolate, but not so much that by the time I'm done I am sick to death of chocolate. The pacing during the first hour or so. I'm not saying that what happened during the first hour isn't important, I just wanted it to be presented in a more steady fashion. For those that saw it, I would say everything after the word FIDELIO appears occurs at a great pace. I would venture to say I could cut 20 minutes out of the beginning of this film, show it to those of you that saw it last night and you could not tell me what had been removed.
Now, don't get me wrong, I like banana splits. In spite of the things I didn't like, the film works. Actually, I am impressed that it could overcome those above mentioned nasties and entertain me. I was always looking forward to what might happen next and was surprised when it did.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were the two scopes of vanilla. There were some very powerful scenes and I believed them through every one of them. When Kidman is speaking of there past summer's holiday both her story telling and Tom's listening are intense. The most difficult scenes in this film were those between Tom and Nicole, and they played them beautifully.
Then there was the sex, the banana if you will (try not to read too much into this analogy, okay?). When you buy a banana split, you ever notice that they're advertising it as banana. The banana is a very small portion of the treat. This movie was so hyped because of the sex and nudity. Really, though, there is only one scene that goes further than most movies, and there is nothing disturbing about any of these scenes. It appears that no character is in a place that they do not wish to be. There is more sex in this film than, for example, "A Clockwork Orange", but it is always consensual and (I'd say) in good taste. Mostly, I believe they should not pump this movie as a sex film and instead as a serious drama.
And could Kubrick have ended this film with any other sentence, any other word? It just plops the cherry right on top of the whipped cream, don't it?
I give the film 3 stars out of 4. The film may not be suited towards some people, and those people are simply missing out (expand your horizons, people! :-) )
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Takes off and lands, but the in flight movie sucks
I compare Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me to an airplane trip (and I don't mean a spaceship that looks like a...) When you get into the plane it's exciting. Then there is the take off which I enjoy. All this takes about 30 minutes until you are simply cruising at a fixed altitude and becoming pretty bored. There are perks, a couple drinks and maybe a package of pretzels from the flight attendants ("Bring on the sexy stews, baby, yeah") but really I'm looking forward to the landing. The landing was smooth and just as cool as the take off, but by then I'd been sitting for an hour listening to conversations that I wish I could have blocked out.
Like that, Austin starts out really hilariously and has a great deal of quick jokes. But after the initial get-go (a go go) I felt it didn't have the speed it needed to keep the energy level high. The main problem was the new characters. Before I say the bad characters, though, I'd like to say that Rob Lowe did a fantastic job of acting like a young Number 2. The other positive new character was "mini-me" which had his moments, small as they were.
But then there was "Fat Bastard" which nobody seemed to think was very funny at all. This character was added solely for "gross-out" humor, but it wasn't very funny. Even Fat Bastard's last scene was flat and not all that interesting. In my opinion, though, the worst new character was Falicity Shagwell whom had no character at all. The character was poorly written and equally poorly acted by Heather Graham. Perhaps Mike was making fun of all those hallow women in the James Bond films?
The strongest points of the new film were those that were in the original. I loved the continuation of Scott (Dr. Evil's Son) and his relationship with his father. This took them to the Jerry Springer show and through time. Sadly, even this relationship was not as interesting as it was in the first movie.
The joke style was still the same. Several shots which would normally cut away which instead show us the real person behind Austin Powers or Dr. Evil. Several jokes were taken as far as they could go (and some even further into the credits). My favorite character from the original that made a return in Will Farrell's Mustafa (he's not even on screen for most of his role).
In the end, I did laugh at the picture but was disappointed that it could not live up to the original. I give it 2 1/2 stars out of 4.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
It's Entertainment, People
I would agree with some of the criticisms that the Phantom Menace has received, but not all, mostly because I liked it.
I thought that the film was highly entertaining, and really that was it's point. There were a couple parts that didn't look right, which kind of reminded me of the original where there were things that looked odd. I do agree that some of the characters were hard to understand. I understood most everything, but I had to reply lines in my head after hearing them to finally get it. I thought, though, that each actor/actress did a good job of acting, just that they had some really poor lines. I mean, I think it would be very hard to properly deliver a line when your reply to "Finish this job and you can go home" is "Yippee".
I agree, also, that they needed a Space Cowboy type character. Liam and Ewan did great in their roles, but both roles were very confident, perhaps even preacher like "believe in the force" and "everything is for a reason" type roles. Even the fight scenes were kinda annoying because they had no fear. Only the end fight with Darth Maul was cool since it showed signs of struggle.
I would have liked there to be more space fighting. The space flight is what I really enjoyed most in the first trilogy. I won't spoil anything, but I would have liked to have kept those particular characters around for the next episode(s).
What this first episode really did for me was to whet my appetite for the next two. I can't stand that I have to wait around 1100 days for that...
In all, again, I was entertained so I would give it a 3 1/2 (out of 4). I would tell everyone to see it, but (agree agree agree) I don't see too many people wanting to see it several times. This should never break Titanic's record.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
The best of Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, and Reservoir Dogs
The plot and screen play resemble Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, and Reservoir Dogs. However, I would venture to say that the Directing and Editing are far superior.
The story line is very tightly written and, although some coincidences occur, completely believable. Individual conversations are not as good as Tarantino, but as a whole they add up to much more.
I'll keep this short since once you see it you'll have to agree; This film is worthy of all the praise it has received and more.
The Thin Red Line (1998)
Sixth grade philosophy at O.J. Simpson trial speed
That red line ain't the only thing that's thin... 1 star out of 4.
I read a review posted on the IMDB stating that they were disappointed George Clooney didn't appear until the last five minutes of the movie. About 1 hour into the film, I started praying Clooney would show up!
The first half hour is just a poor duplication of Das Boot. The rest is just poor (please stop comparing this to Apocalypse Now!). Terrence Malick has no idea how to shoot a film. With all this montage of scenery, flashbacks, voice-overs, and people staring into the wilderness you never connect with the character. I was just hoping the main character would hurry up and die.
I'll rephrase that, you do connect with one character; Captain John Gaff played by John Cusack. Cusack seemed the only player that gave it his all and became emotionally involved with his part. It is because of Cusack this film is 1 star instead of 0.
I've always hated voice-overs, and in this film they are more plentiful than bullets. Terrence must not have realized that he could have more voice-overs if it was all done in pantomime!
The thing that scares me more than this film's success is that critics and individuals seem to think it's deep. If you haven't already pondered all the philosophy brought up in this film, you need a conscience. I felt like I was having flashbacks to book reports on sixth grade assigned reading.
The side topics brought up in the film which could have added emotion were only touched and never examined. Examples include the passing over of promotion, a dismissal due to difference of opinion, the accessibility of an officer of higher rank... None of these topics were perused.
In the end I should have saved the seven bucks, stared at a tree and had a four year old read the voice-overs to me. After these three hours, I wouldn't be surprised to see the tree get up and leave.
The Apostle (1997)
All praise the holy burning script
It starts out pretty slow, but then it really starts dragging. The opening credits suggest that Robert Duvall wrote and directed this sleeper (and I don't mean unforeseen hit), and I'm glad it mentions that. Otherwise, you may not catch that there was any writing or directing performed. So I sat there, thinking it had to get better as I heard the same "praise jesus" line for the one millionth time. Then it happened; the movie ended. Oh, there is a God. The problem: Just when Billy Bob shows up as the enemy (i.e. the entertainment), he is on camera for 20 seconds and becomes at peace with the lord. The police are chasing Duvall when they should be placing an APB for the plot. If you want to see a movie that has little plot but holds its own with raw talent and pure emotion, see "Ordinary People". If you want a film featuring a man who is both "good" and "evil", see "The Godfather". Don't see this film unless you want to be numbed into insanity.