Reviews
The Invasion (2007)
Don't believe the (negative) hype
Being a fan of the genre and previous incarnations of the book, save the 70s version (which i have not seen in its entirety, nor particularly care for viewing) i bought into the negative hype surrounding The Invasion, due to the films use of a virus instead of the pods. I admit it. I made a judgment before having seen the movie. Which was perhaps not wise, but then it was more of a pleasant surprise when this movie turned out to be highly adequate. Oh go on then, ill allow myself the emotional reaction missing from the titular visitors; the movie was great.
Though, I've noticed my reaction to films has a lot to do with my state when watching, and i was chilled and calm, before watching, allowing the creeping dread of seeing a world gradually overtaken by the conscious infection to arise unabated. For all the negative reviews i have seen for this movie, i really cant fathom it. It hits all the right buttons, and is hardly run of the mill. Kidman is as Kidman does, and you cant really ask for Oscar performance in the hokey overplayed sci-fi genre, (or maybe i'm being somewhat narrow minded) but what i know is i enjoyed it all. And beyond existential introspection thats all i ask for from a movie these days.
P.S. I ain't not never read the book
Planet Terror (2007)
Super Smashing Great
Where to start? I had a lot of fun watching Planet Terror. It could be described as kick ass in inverted commas. It was gory, sexy, funny (Princes best album) and well balanced. The gore is super splatter and if you got shot in this movie, guaranteed you lost a couple of pints. Personally for me its the gorier the better. The chicks were really hot even though Rose needs to stop having plastic surgery or this might be the last film where she looks fit. Its going to be a classic, more so than Death Proof i think because it was much larger in scope. It was a real adventure, at least in this extended unrated version that i saw. Definitely my favorite Rodriguez movie to date. Its such a shame we won't be seeing any sequels or follow ups to this due to the poor box office of the original Grindhouse release.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Good? Well,... yes.
As an ex-drug addict, i cant find it hard to stay interested in a film unless the storytelling, script and acting is top notch. Because most films don't have such pedigree, i tend to find myself skipping through certain scenes i find boring. As you may have skipped to the end of this paragraph. I thought id just state that so i don't come across like many self-important reviewers who seem to think that their opinion is unbiased and important and level-headed. Mine is'nt, its just what i think of the movie.
House of 1000 Corpses is you standard cannibal redneck yokel story like many before it, Texas Chainsaw, Wrong Turn, Hills Have Eyes, Psycho to name a few, all are based on the various myths and facts surround the serial killer Ed Gien who is referenced in this film at one point. The problem with those kind of films however, for me, is the relentless onslaught of young protagonists, who get themselves involved somehow in the storyline, usually on a road trip of some sort. In most cases i really fail to care at all about these characters. In fact they are less characters and more like plot devices around which the inventive or horrific murder scenes are placed. The same goes for HO1000C. I don't care for the characters so it gets a bit boring sometimes along the way.
Thats all par for the course in these kinds of films, what makes HO1000C worth watching is the kooky antagonists they bump into like Captain Spaulding and the family of crazies. Thats what really floats my boat about this film and thats probably what was intended, the third act with Dr. Satan is great. Rob Zombie has created a new horror icon with this character with some help from the excellent FX team that created it.
Definitely worth watching if your a horror fan. I can also highly recommend the sequel although having seen it before HO1000C i was surprised to find that Dr. Satan had been left out and a less supernatural vibe permeated the plot.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
A few giant robots away from a sci-fi classic....
Fox needs to fire Tim Rothman. Whoever was overseeing the production of this film is to blame for its gaping flaws. Some moments were expertly realized, take for example the xavier death scene and its lead up and the wolverine/pheonix finale. Emotional moments which, had the films quality been consistent throughout, could have been the sci-fi equivalent of Gone with the Wind.
Unfortunately throughout the film i had the distinct impression that i was watching a movie that cost considerably less to make than the publicized budget of 185 million ( a lower estimate 205 is another ). I will use previous films in the same genre to make comparisons. Hellboy has an estimate of 66 mill. Its a longer film than X-men and it has more & better effects shots, more special make-up effects and prosthetics. Another example is Blade 2. 54 mill according to box office mojo and to my eye looks better than X-men the last stand for many scenes.
For this price X-men the last stand should be backing spider-man 2 into a corner. But for some reason the production doesn't have the structural integrity of either spider-man feature. I forget however that i am an x-men fan. I used to watch the cartoon and read the comics. When i went in to the movie, i had the express desire to see the giant robot sentinels in some capacity other than a decapitated head. And really that was my only wish for the film. That was not granted. Where my gripe really lies is here, quite simply had the giant robot sentinels been included i could have overlooked the things like beasts immovable hair or Angels abortion of a role, or the power ranger type style direction that the production design was going towards, and i would have considered the trilogy a sci-fi opus.
Other than that there is a rather hokey staged feel to the acting scenes compared to the natural drama that singer tried to create. Its strange that had the robots been included the film would have been great. As they were not, it was terrible. Strange.
Elizabeth I (2005)
It was brilliant...
I was initially surprised channel 4 produced this story so soon after the other recent production. But soon after watching some of this.. i realised why they did. The script is simply a masterpiece and whilst much of the dialog is straight forward and narrative at times this piece ascends into a work comparable to Shakespeare. Some of the wordplay is exemplary and i think any fans of the genre would seriously enjoy this.
The acting made you feel like you were watching a Hollywood movie making its premier on television, and by that i mean just as great as you would expect with both lead actors giving performances that made me feel like i was getting favours under my desk at work.
Man-Thing (2005)
Awful, just bloody awful!
They tried to make a cheap scary monster movie with this character but failed. the man-thing himself only appears for less than 5 minutes total in the whole movie. the effects were weak. where did the £20 budget for this film go exactly? avoid paying to see this movie. I must admit after the first 15 minutes, i fast forwarded to where i had heard swamp thing made his debut. all you see is a cgi tentactle effect killing some guy.
Then only in the very end of the movie do you see a guy in a suit accompanied by some Cgi tentacles thrashing around from his back. was this worth waiting for? sorry no.
S.W.A.T. (2003)
I am about to write a review for S.W.A.T
Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzz.... Sorry did i fall asleep? i must have accidentally pressed play on the DVD for SWAT again. silly me.
Bulletproof (1996)
Adam Sandler obviously need a new house because
im sure he doesnt need the money for a life saving operation or transplant. in all honesty i think this review qualifies as a better movie than 'bulletproof'. thanks for listening.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
This is an action film, thanks, not a terminator sequel: money back please, your obviously confused...
I'm quite partial to the terminator series, and having been on the ''T2 - Battle Across Time'' experience at universal studios Florida, I was quite confused as why the film makers would wish to under whelm us with this run of the mill action film.
It represents a very miniscule step forward in plot. In fact an obvious, boring, idea. Which is think Cameron avoided telling us for a reason. Its blatant that the machines rise. What could have been a great trilogy in cinematic history has been reduced (as with star wars) to a money making get rich quick scheme for the producers.
I can't wait to see ''Terminator 15: liquid metal elephant across time to approximately yesterday to pick up the paper because they never got it and it had some coupons that they wanted to get 5 dollars off at the sizzler, I know its a boring story and we used the same one for all the other movies but we have a terminator elephant! come on, you have to come and see this movie'' very interesting.