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Anton Versluys
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ThunderCats Roar (2020)
Why these kind of projects should receive this punishment from audiences
After its announcement, this project caused stir among fans when they realized their beloved action-adventure cartoon was reimagined as some kind of spoof. It's that bad? Not really, since arts and media are made of a plethora of ideas, and more or less versatile concepts available to find new forms of expressions, and updated contents and discourse.
What's wrong then? Well, it seems there is a purposed attempt to mock on a group of canonical characters and a classic heroic storyline in order to made it laughable or silly. They could have made a legit parody (as much as Spaceballs is a good and funny take on Star Wars lore), but they did it over the title itself; the design of once heroic characters -of olympic canon- is purposedly naive, grotesque, very close to ridiculousness. Is there an ideology goal on that? It's part of an agenda? I'm not into these kind of conspiracy theories, but the almost unanimous bashing established an ethical bar not to be crossed againg: Respect.
The makers made an attempt to be disrespectful to a cartoon which is canon in the popular geek culture. "Hey, let's see if its work, and if it goes well, let's go after every icon or classic". That's not only lazy, it's mean spirited; it's like going into a museum to cause damage because "it's fun". Do you wanna try your own aesthetics and storytelling? So do your own goddm'd characters, don't screw with the memories of a generation!
Mediocrity, mean spirit, lazyness. People said no: take your garbage away, nobody wants it.
A good use for social media is the way an spontaneous reaction could raise their voice and stop these kind of projects. I hope the lesson is learned: don't ever do that again, nor even think about it.
Dixit.
Superman (1978)
Darkness and grittyness aside, this is was Superman was meant to be.
Salkind's Superman movie, directed by former television craftman Richard Donner has long ago departed from its shelf of mere adventure movie and is now a pop culture phenomenon, deemed -however- as a bit too dated or campy for current audiences. This ambitious production is indeed far from the strong drama overtones from Fox's X-men series, the exaggerated misanthropy of (the good ones) Batman films or the cool cynism from Iron Man, just to mention some examples of what superhero genre has produced over the years. At the very begginning, when superhero productions were mostly adventure serials made for TV with lower budgets and campy effects, this initiative came mostly as a show-off statement from Alexander and Illya Salkind, who encouraged themselves to prove they can do a larger than life movie on one of the most conspicuous american characters. The well know story of the alien refugee who become Earth's biggest champion of justice is, at its best moments, a canvas to universal themes rendered as fun-driven adventure plot with, at the date of its release, sophisticated special effects.
That being said, the greatest virtue of Donner's Superman is not in the dated production design, the old-fashioned visual effects or the campiness that drags the second part of the plot. Superman is, above it all, a movie that installed a canon and serves as a multi-layered tale of themes on what makes a hero, that lead us from one to another interpretation after several viewings. Seeing this movie as a child at late 70's, we were mostly mesmerized by the visual effects; as an adult, in the other hand, we are more sensitive to the powerful subtleness of intimate scenes, like the iconic moral strenght of the Kents or the almost naive determination for good of the main character. The perennial magic of this movie lies on its soul, and the faithful translation of what Superman was meant to be: the greatest boy-scout who ever existed. At this point, this origin story it's a character driven tale which serves it's purpose with help from the sarcastic (without being too harsh or abrasive) counterpoint of Lois Lane, the cartoonish evil of Luthor and the casual cynism of any Metropolis citizen that depicts a funny snapshot of society at the end of seventies.
The religious alussions are subtle too, in the perfect balance of fantasy and symbolism without being too preachy, which is the most criticized point of the recent versions of the character; there's no another awkward "Jesus-Superman" parable here, just the adequate keys to install some universal conceptions to massive audiences about what Superman is. IMHO, perhaps one of the most notable and powerfully emotional scenes is when the big guy jumps outside Perry White's office and goes through the Metropolis skyline searching for Luthor's threat, while a bunch of office girls run and cheerish to admire her beloved guardian the instant he flyes near their window, and short later some pedestrians at the street are witnesses of his power while Superman seems to be unawared of what he inspires; that IS Superman: an unlikely force of good seen over the shoulders of astounded people who stares in disbelief, not only for the amazing nature of such outlandish powers, but also because he embodies an almost naive sense of willingness. Powerful and effective, a movie that wanted to be as big as life itself, but has become a classic because its most remarkable achievement relies on its light-hearted simplicity.
Zebra Lounge (2001)
Flawed, but above the average of most late-night TV erotic thrillers.
"Zebra Lounge" earns its stars by milking the same cow of Adrian Lyne's moralist but sexual-driven tales, however, where the infamous British filmmaker succeeded, this movie fails: The aftermath of the plot and, of course, his ability to involve major actors and actresses to carry on those otherwise rather mediocre flicks.
The Barnets (Cameron Daddo and Brandy Ledford) are a young couple making an everyday effort to keep their marriage floating over the routine, one night, after a mutual confession of secret fantasies and harmless, almost naive misbehavior, they decide to make a step further and both end looking for kinky adventures at the local swinger's club, where they met the Bauers (Stephen Baldwin and Kristy Swanson). So then, what seemed to be just a little "hanky-panky", turns into a menacing nightmare as their new sex partners reveal some sociopath tendencies, and will be necessary a considerable effort to get rid of such obsessive friends. That's it.
The most interesting part, besides some few steamy sex scenes (the tongue fencing between Swanson and Ledford is an internet classic) is the way they fail to manage the situation, being unable to leave it all behind and forced to face a threat to their whole world, compromising job, family and even the little kids. At this respect, all kudos to Brandy Ledford who despite some flaws in her acting definitely outshines the rest of the ensemble cast in her role of the charismatic and sympathetic suburban housewife, regretting her actions in concern for their kids, but willing to do whatever it takes to get back to a normal life.
Sadly, her on screen companions don't reach the same level, the closer is an overacted Stephen Baldwin playing a generic b-movie psycho full of laughable tics. There's almost nothing to say (good or bad) about Cameron Daddo and his insipid and colorless portrayal of the troubled do-right husband, and Kristy Swanson is a major disappoint with the unexciting and cold presence of what should have been a lustful siren. (if you come to this movie expecting to see Kristy in all her revealing hotness, get a copy of her Playboy issue instead)
Having started with an interesting premise and some good moments, the whole story goes down hill only to stop at a random and mediocre ending. Not even an unrated version with extended sex scenes would have save it from become just another late night TV erotic thriller, but among a plethora of them, this one is good enough to watch.
Il seme della discordia (2008)
An interesting premise, but poorly executed
Veronica (Gorgeous Italian actress and former Bond-girl Caterina Murino) is a young and exuberant woman dealing in the everyday with issues in her job, she also has to handle her meddlesome mother begging for a grandson and (what makes this petition a difficult goal to achieve) she is routinely married to an itinerant seller more concerned in his work (and the adulterous flirting with some of his loyal customers) than his beautiful wife. One night, Veronica's monotone life turns into a bizarre twist after being assaulted in an alley on her way home and left unconscious, being aided only by a security guard (Michele Venitucci) who beyond his good Samaritan speech, is secretly in love of her, but the weirdest consequence will surface weeks after the incident as she realizes she's pregnant... despite her husband's infertility, driving her to follow any evidence able to lead her to identify the unknown perpetrator who raped, and impregnated her.
This movie is, in fact, a "dramedy" that relies on a tradition of spicy Italian comedies but without their festive eroticism. Quite the opposite, there is something profoundly degrading in the story which also is the most interesting part, however -and paradoxically- it never takes off because of the poorly acted one-dimensional characters. Caterina Murino shines like a top model going through the catwalk, but her acting is as abysmal as the way her character behaves. She does not have what it takes to portray such a complex role, and that's precisely the reason why the whole scheme fails: It never decides whether being a light moral tale or a sordid take on a bourgeoisie nightmare. The humor is not as dark and corrosive as its needed, nor the dramatic elements are strong enough to feel involved with. The movie even deals with controversial themes like abortion and features some of the most shallow commentaries about real rape victims ever heard on film, something as outrageous as the story itself.
Screened at Venice Film Festival in 2008, this interesting story not-so-interestingly crafted and developed into a disappointing movie has not better quality than any mediocre made-for-TV prime time drama, although it still remains as a film to be seen with ingredients worth to watch.
Cat Run (2011)
Another take on modern grind-house cinema
This movie is a pretty graphic example of modern grind-house cinema: It's misanthropic, misogynistic, obnoxiously sadistic and gross. However, it has the moral reserve of not taking itself too seriously, reaching its highlights in scenes plenty of tasteless humor. Even the promos are slightly deceitful as the main storyline has much less to do with the female lead, Catalina "Cat" Rona (The once-promising Spanish actress Paz Vega) than a couple of unlucky globe trotters (Scott Mechlowicz and Alphonso McAuley), both involved into a merciless pursuit across Europe. In fact, "Cat" is far from the image of the female hero and she actually plays her part as a vulnerable, rather passive woman in peril which only serves as main prize to a bunch of soulless thugs.
Perhaps the most (or should I have to say, the only) memorable and well developed character in this gallery of grotesque is the strict mannered and cold-blooded British assassin portrayed by Janet McTeer, who plays a role as fun and weird as can be a cross between Mary Poppins and Terminator, but capable of humanity when the tide turns and the plot demands her to change her side. Very consistent and congruent to the exploitative spirit which drives the insane storyline, there is a large amount of nudity and violence against women, and some torture scenes definitely not for the squeamish.
"Cat Run" it's a violent buddy movie and adventure flick, more in tune to dark and grim movies like "Taken" and "Hostel", where the sense of thrill seems to come in direct proportion to the lack of humanity, and the result it still is enjoyable to anyone who enjoys falling downstairs. Yes, that painful.
Sheena (1984)
Flawed, but it has a soul... and a body.
This is a movie that many of us remember "watching as a kid", and a secondary thought that follows that feeling relies in the fact that many of those movies indeed were a lot better than most of today's soulless blockbusters. "Sheena" is actually a flawed, rather modest and slightly camp matinée flick which live up to equally modest expectations. As many other movies based in popular culture characters, this is an "Origins story" of the female hero of the title which updates and upgrades the ancient archetype -and male fantasy with racist overtones- of a blonde amazon who rules a savage land, however, this movie succeeds in a more respectful portrayal of the natives and their millenarian wisdom, depicted as rather peaceful people living in balance with nature, properly turned into fierce warriors in order to assume the defense of their land from evil and greedy visitors.
Beautiful starlet Tanya Roberts brings charm and brightness to the leading role, despite her odd outfit that underlines an adequate sense of campiness (just like, let's say, a horse painted as a zebra), which delivers the magic (some people would like to call it suspension of disbelief) this story deserves. A most ambiguous issue is the thin line between the innocent eroticism and well-intended exploitation that justifies non-sexual full frontal nude scenes involving a Caucasian woman, but has to be admitted that's precisely the part which everyone expects to see in a movie like this one, where sexiness is the principal ingredient.
The DVD, poorly released by Sony/Columbia Pictures definitely doesn't do justice to the movie. The full screen format crops the magnificent landscapes off and the awful quality of the transfer play against the experience. Even the cover artwork (another example of bad photoshop, and, by the way... there are NO tigers in Africa neither do they even appear in this movie) is a big let down to an otherwise enjoyable, fun, sexy and entertaining adventure flick with a soul and a body. Tanya Robert's body.
L'affaire Marcorelle (2000)
Marcorelle can't resist the charm of a darker, cynical, sexier and mesmerizing Irène Jacob.
Jean Pierre Leaud is Francois Marcorelle, a judge with a guilty complex. That's a funny begin, but this good movie goes far beyond the premise by amplifying the scale of the conflict to a wider perspective at higher levels. L'Affaire Marcorelle is basically a story about this poor guy who must manage how to get outside a trap: One night alone at the restaurant he meets a beautiful waitress, Agneska (Irène Jacob) and has a crush on her, Marcorelle kindly offers the girl to take her at her home where he later realizes she actually is a polish prostitute, then a confuse incident takes place and ends with a guy dead in the floor. So that's how he gets involved with the mafia trading with women in an intricate case which could demolish his reputation. This unfolds the plot, but the scheme is also a clever satire to politics, specially to foreign affairs in the old continent. Since the first time, Marcorelle decides to help the young illegal woman, and at the same time he must deal with his own family and take distance from a judicial bureaucrat with suspicious attitude (Mathieu Amalric) who doesn't even try to hide his prejudice on Marcorelle. As the antecedents get more and more complicated, the judge soon feels overwhelmed by the circumstances.
Irène Jacob plays the most active part and she is at her best, and I mean even better than she used to do in these wonderful Kieslowski's movies where she was a little bit instrumentalized by the director. The polish filmmaker was a genius and Irene was his muse, so that's why she had a very limited register and chance to portray, by example, an obscure or amoral character. At "Marcorelle", nevertheless, Irène appears in a much more complex and rather cynical role, she had to replace her usual candid kindness with a tougher background and she did it flawless in that way. Agneska is a sexy villainess, an extortionist without remorse but she indeed has a cause; she's full of resentment because she is one of these "second class" Europeans. As the main and wealthy countries of the European Community like France- are proud on their arrogant, ambivalent speech about tolerance and integration, in the meanwhile most of the citizens from the eastern nations are devastated by misery and their children doomed to be criminals or hookers, but these supposed-progressist richest nations lock their doors in their faces. The hopeless faces of the illegal immigrants looking for a opportunity. That's a very serious matter but carefully featured in this movie, without falling into the cheap politically incorrect stuff. I do already think this has a lot to do with some kind of guilty consciousness about the high contrast between the two sides of contemporary European society.
The film essentially works as a light thriller-comedy with a critic, reflexive shade and even a dark sense of humor, mostly based in the solid performance of the cast and this is the brightest point. The storyline could have been better focused and slightly more dynamic, but works fine at its way and the result is fairly well done. This movie really deserved to have a much better distribution worldwide or at least to be released to the mainstream of home video market. It's a clever movie with sympathetic, charismatic characters and quite an interesting content.
Playboy: Women of Enron (2002)
Not much more than the magazine already showed.
In 2002, PLAYBOY caused controversy by announcing some pictorial with former female executives from the infamous company in distress Enron. Was not surprising to guess the legendary magazine would try to capitalize the success of the pictorial and release a documentary about the event.
The main attraction on the issue pages was to give people the chance of appreciate the naked beauty of common next-door women and was a huge success in that way, but failed when tried to sell the same material twice boxed in the form of some kind of making-off. Most of the footage consist in interviews with the ladies about their experiences and feelings on Enron, about her lives, her careers or how exciting is posing naked; for whose wanted to get another look on more extensive nudity will be disappointed for sure, because is nothing here beyond the same pictures that anyone who bought the magazine had already seen; despite the advantage of seeing them moving on screen or more spicy angles for the same usual kitsch shots and that tired fetish stuff (bottomless nudity over the desk, lingerie and garter belts with private parts exposed), there is just a little additional nakedness by Shari Daugherty and another girl.
The trick was on the much publicized morbid sense of real life women doing soft pornography. But since the product is less than anyone could bargain for, all on this seems much like a poor, exploitation fiasco.
The Lost World (1999)
This one has taken me back at TV!
What else can i say? This show RULES! excellent, delightfully campy (in the best way) has the powerful, nostalgic sense of some good old (and underrated) series like the "Tales of Golden Monkey", "Adventure Island"... films like "The Man of Bronze" or these Kevin Connor's camp adventure classics like "Warlords of Atlantis" (all of them as "the missing link" between the old Republic Serials and "Raiders of the Lost Ark"). I've been wondering myself why these TV guys have forgotten how to do a good, enjoyable TV show á la old fashion style and the answer came to me as this wonderful piece of fantasy.
All on this show works with the accuracy of a clock, the main characters, the story, the locations. Even each time, over and over again, when i see the powerful main titles it turns me on like the most childish kid (the images... the amazing and far over the average "heroic" score). The following has all which anyone could ask for: lots of adventure, beautiful and wild babes, really bad guys and terrible monsters (well, still a bit cheesy but... who cares? "Valley of Gwangi" is, even today, a hell of entertaining despite the Harryhausen's ancient models).
Beyond the fact they grabbed only the name of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's to make their very own gem, this TV show has a strong spirit as i haven't seen since much time ago, and i'm seriously considering into my all-time classics (sharing honors with Twilight Zone, Miami Vice or Airwolf). Many people could think i'm exaggerating a little, but i fell this one has something else than many other (may be much more successful), but cold and empty programs, and i'm not talking only to the people who think Simon Wincer's "The Phantom" was a misunderstood good movie.
My only wish is to know if they going to release the seasons on DVD. And my suggestion is to give the creatures a major presence on the story... the dinos still look like the "guest stars" in many chapters.
"Two Thumbs Up!"
Verbotenes Verlangen - Ich liebe meinen Schüler (2000)
powerful and emotive story of love.
This is a very well done, far over-the-average drama made for TV, even better than many other american movies about the theme. Marion Mitterhammer plays a quite sympathetic and lovable character as an school teacher, happily married with a workhaholic architect, and mother of a conflictive teenage girl and a small, innocent boy; but things change when she mets the usual rebel student, a serious problem teen who really has a superior sensibility... by now, seems like the same old and tired plot about the forbidden love between the mature teacher and her pupil, but this story has an mature and realistic treatment of the story and characters.
The fragile balance of Katharina (Mitterhammer)'s family is very well shown with their lack of comunication that could happen to anyone, as her husband is a truly busy man more worried about his own proyects than his wife and The less-compassive and selfish daughter Jule, who does her part a strong element in the story. The teenage student Ben is still a bit one-sized but is well portrayed too, avoiding the stereotypes. The love scenes are candid and wonderfully made, and there is a lot of chemistry between both actors despite the actual ages of them. There are other good characters in the story, as Katharina's old friend in the theatre or the sexy, but cynical Melanie.
The story takes a big turn-on when Katharina realizes than she is pregnant from the young boy, then comes a whole new treatment of the story focused in her true love for Ben, (and few later, unleashing her husband and daughter's anger), and she made her decision.
More than the usual moralistic and exploitational story that could have been (if made by american releasers), this is a heart-taking story of vulnerable human beings in a memorable story of love and passion. I watched on TV and was quite an amazing movie, worth to see and has some serious lessons to learn, and i'm not talking about the moral crap, i'm meaning about how to made a good TV drama.
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Not a GREAT movie, but funny enough...
Well, just another "Run-like-hell (or swim, in this case), or-you-will-be-the-next-meal" movie... And that doesn't matter, if you wanna have some fun (if your meaning of fun is seeing a few actors playing silly scientist being systematically trashed by computer-generated sharks), yeah, in any case this is a great movie of the genre (i'm talking about "Jaws" or "Alien"), but... what the hell.
Samuel Jackson did a good work, as usual. Saffron Burrows looks really gorgeous, but don't ask her for a great performance, she is just there to see a nice female body amongst the bunch of underwater nerds, and Thomas Jane and LL Cool J do their part, forget the rest...no talk about Ronny Cox, one minute on screen without saying any word (!?).
This movie could be a bit "disgusting" for someone who don't like to watch explicit carnage sequences, and seems like the film makers doesn't care who will be in the menú; nevertheless, there is an attempt to avoid some "common places" of the genre and some intense scenes are unpredictables. so, this is the best of the film... specially the shocking (and i mean SHOCKING) finale on the surface, when the shark happily chew and swallow an last (and really STUPID) victim. Oh My!... that was simply COOL!
O.K. That's it... this one is not for the Oscars, but funny enough to have a good time. worth to see it, despite all.