smegthat
Joined Jul 2000
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"The Families Feud" (2023)
How is God's Divine Name does this have a rating of 7.0 on IMDb without trickery?
Okay, compared to a lot of the garbage I've been watching, this movie has a bit of brains behind it, but it is only there to say, "Hey, we know our movies, so give us a break, okay?"
Some Mafia-type goombas go deep into the backwoods to bury someone they whacked. Based on their reaction to the bagged-up body, it took them a LONG time to bury the body. Yeah, I know, don't apply real-world stuff to movies, but the level of rot they complained about wouldn't have set in if they buried the body within hours of killing the poor guy.
Anyway, while attempting to bury the body, a few Bigfoot, or Squatch (short for Sasquatch), hunters appear. They have a gun fight and one of the Don's army is wounded. The capo and his right-hand guy go for revenge. After offing the wounded guy. Go figure.
They end up captured, and the Don knows this.
Just so happens that the Don is under fire from another Mafia boss, who is attending the longest running poker game I have ever witnessed. But whatever. It's a movie, right?
You can see where this is heading. Things escalate. More Familia are sent in, and more hillbillies arrive. An all-out war takes place in the backwoods while the Don is fending off hired killers in the big city.
This is a really great set-up. Totally fumbled because the filmmakers must be Tarantino freaks and wanted to show their knowledge of film history as they work in endless references to infinitely better films of the past. None of these references are subtle. I. Mean. NONE!
These references are occasionally funny, but they undermine what could have easily been a "Southern Comfort"-type of situation. I would have loved that.
Instead, beyond the "slap-you-in-the-face" film references, you get poor editing and performances that are both over the top as well as being deeply rooted in simplistic cliches from both "Deliverance" and every crappy Mafia movie, up to and including "The Godfather" franchise. It doesn't work as a straight film, and it ultimately fails as a parody. A double loss.
How in hell does this movie have a rating of 7.0 on IMDb if not for padding by the cast and crew of this mediocre attempt? I mean, if they had played it straight, it might have been interesting, but as a cheap comedy, it falls on its face, even though it clearly had a reasonable budget to work with.
I picked this because of Anna Rizzo, from "Blood Pi". Again, she does a decent job here and, again, looks utterly wonderful with her cleavage deserving its own screen credit. I hope this lady finds some success outside of these crappy movies, but even in low-budget fare, she stands out.
Seriously, other than friends of the production skewing the score, this film deserves a marginal 6 for simply not being totally brain dead, but never a 7. A 5 or a 4.5 would be far more accurate.
It can be found on Tubi. And, no, I'm not advertising for them. They just have a lot of crap to watch. Including the old-school "The Partridge Family" series, which I watched the first episode again and greatly enjoyed in spite of it aging somewhat poorly.
This movie, however, is worth a watch if you just have to see the Mafia, hillbillies, and a touch of Bigfoot horror blended into a comedy that barely works 37% of the time. Be ready for a TON of jokes based on the most tired cliches connected with each overall category.
How is God's Divine Name does this have a rating of 7.0 on IMDb without trickery?
Okay, compared to a lot of the garbage I've been watching, this movie has a bit of brains behind it, but it is only there to say, "Hey, we know our movies, so give us a break, okay?"
Some Mafia-type goombas go deep into the backwoods to bury someone they whacked. Based on their reaction to the bagged-up body, it took them a LONG time to bury the body. Yeah, I know, don't apply real-world stuff to movies, but the level of rot they complained about wouldn't have set in if they buried the body within hours of killing the poor guy.
Anyway, while attempting to bury the body, a few Bigfoot, or Squatch (short for Sasquatch), hunters appear. They have a gun fight and one of the Don's army is wounded. The capo and his right-hand guy go for revenge. After offing the wounded guy. Go figure.
They end up captured, and the Don knows this.
Just so happens that the Don is under fire from another Mafia boss, who is attending the longest running poker game I have ever witnessed. But whatever. It's a movie, right?
You can see where this is heading. Things escalate. More Familia are sent in, and more hillbillies arrive. An all-out war takes place in the backwoods while the Don is fending off hired killers in the big city.
This is a really great set-up. Totally fumbled because the filmmakers must be Tarantino freaks and wanted to show their knowledge of film history as they work in endless references to infinitely better films of the past. None of these references are subtle. I. Mean. NONE!
These references are occasionally funny, but they undermine what could have easily been a "Southern Comfort"-type of situation. I would have loved that.
Instead, beyond the "slap-you-in-the-face" film references, you get poor editing and performances that are both over the top as well as being deeply rooted in simplistic cliches from both "Deliverance" and every crappy Mafia movie, up to and including "The Godfather" franchise. It doesn't work as a straight film, and it ultimately fails as a parody. A double loss.
How in hell does this movie have a rating of 7.0 on IMDb if not for padding by the cast and crew of this mediocre attempt? I mean, if they had played it straight, it might have been interesting, but as a cheap comedy, it falls on its face, even though it clearly had a reasonable budget to work with.
I picked this because of Anna Rizzo, from "Blood Pi". Again, she does a decent job here and, again, looks utterly wonderful with her cleavage deserving its own screen credit. I hope this lady finds some success outside of these crappy movies, but even in low-budget fare, she stands out.
Seriously, other than friends of the production skewing the score, this film deserves a marginal 6 for simply not being totally brain dead, but never a 7. A 5 or a 4.5 would be far more accurate.
It can be found on Tubi. And, no, I'm not advertising for them. They just have a lot of crap to watch. Including the old-school "The Partridge Family" series, which I watched the first episode again and greatly enjoyed in spite of it aging somewhat poorly.
This movie, however, is worth a watch if you just have to see the Mafia, hillbillies, and a touch of Bigfoot horror blended into a comedy that barely works 37% of the time. Be ready for a TON of jokes based on the most tired cliches connected with each overall category.
You know you are in trouble when you realize that the movie you are watching could only be helped by an appearance by Neil Breen.
"Killerhertz" starts with the credits running over a shot of Casey, our heroine, showing EVERY STEP of her walk from the water, across the beach, until she reaches her shoes, which have been front and center in the screen this whole time.
She answers her cell phone, acts confused, and looks over her shoulder to the shoreline.
Got that? Excellent!
Now forget what is arguably the best scene in the film (because you haven't learned to dislike ALL of the characters yet) because it is never properly addressed. Ever. That's over a minute of your life gone watching credits in a font borrowed from the late 70s.
Apparently, her mom died. Now, Casey has PTSD concerning the beach or having running water on or near her - whatever the hell is convenient for each scene. She freaks out over water dripping from a faucet in one scene, yet she walks through the rain without freaking out in another. (Yes, I understand, in real life, PTSD can be triggered differently depending on circumstances, but fictional movies should operate under their stated rules/concepts. "Killerhertz" refuses to commit, leading to confusion and nonsensical situations.)
Her boyfriend, Kyle, played by a Casey Affleck clone known as James Calloway (or Gino Wilson or Gino Meeajaun - take your pick), is an unlikable nerd trying to please everyone in his life, especially his successful daddy. He applies his study of energy transmitted by frequency waves to Casey's Mommy obsession and creates a "dead-a-phone" that could potentially allow people to speak with loved ones in the space around us.
Before this honestly intriguing premise can even get on its feet, Kyle is electrocuted by his own computer equipment during a scuffle with their flat mate, Edmund. Confusion ensues as Casey wants to get help for Kyle, but Ed, fearing the scandal would cost him a scheduled promotion, tries to stop her, but fails.
Casey finds herself being told by the police that she could be charged in Kyle's death. Unknown to the officer, Kyle, now a spirit, can manipulate energy which he uses to electrocute people, like the officer (among many others), which allows Casey to escape. Unfortunately, she is now wanted for a series of bizarre electrical deaths.
Kyle does a Max Headroom routine before possessing Edmund's body. Kyle's daddy shows up. Casey's large number of murder charges and legal issues are eliminated with one throwaway sentence. People die. That pesky, inconsistent PTSD issue figures into the climax (like you are surprised by this?).
As I watched "Killerhertz", I propped up my sense of disbelief into regions where oxygen is non-existent to give this movie a chance. Until the camera focused on the wide black (duct? Electrical?) tape used to outline Kyle's body. After laughing long and hard enough that I choked, I had to give up and start insulting the movie back each time it seemed to forget real people are supposed to watch this thing.
"Killerhertz" cannot make up its mind what it is about. Casey and her mom? The "dead-a-phone"? Using electrical systems for travel and attack, like in "Ghost in the Machine" (1993) or Wes Craven's "Shocker"? Body hopping like "The Hidden"? Disembodied assault like the Id Monster from "Forbidden Planet"? Pick one and develop it properly.
While you should not expect Oscar-caliber performances, you should expect something better than what sounds like an earnest attempt by strangers plucked off the city streets. No one in the cast is helped by dialogue that often sounds unnatural.
Full disclosure: I'd like to say that Haley Osborne gives the best performance in the film. Key phrase being "I'd like to". The fact she reminds me of Susan Swift (for whom I had a "crush" when I was a youngster) might shade my opinion. Do keep in mind I did NOT say her performance was great. With this movie, you work with what you are given.
Bonus questions for the filmmakers/writers: Why insist on your two lead characters being from America when they clearly speak with very natural English accents? Why is most of your movie dubbed in post which gives the whole film an unreal and unprofessional feel?
Even though the film was reportedly made for less than six thousand US dollars, "Killerhertz" misses every opportunity to be an interesting film to, instead, be like the character Kyle - it tries to please too many and fails on every count.
"Killerhertz" starts with the credits running over a shot of Casey, our heroine, showing EVERY STEP of her walk from the water, across the beach, until she reaches her shoes, which have been front and center in the screen this whole time.
She answers her cell phone, acts confused, and looks over her shoulder to the shoreline.
Got that? Excellent!
Now forget what is arguably the best scene in the film (because you haven't learned to dislike ALL of the characters yet) because it is never properly addressed. Ever. That's over a minute of your life gone watching credits in a font borrowed from the late 70s.
Apparently, her mom died. Now, Casey has PTSD concerning the beach or having running water on or near her - whatever the hell is convenient for each scene. She freaks out over water dripping from a faucet in one scene, yet she walks through the rain without freaking out in another. (Yes, I understand, in real life, PTSD can be triggered differently depending on circumstances, but fictional movies should operate under their stated rules/concepts. "Killerhertz" refuses to commit, leading to confusion and nonsensical situations.)
Her boyfriend, Kyle, played by a Casey Affleck clone known as James Calloway (or Gino Wilson or Gino Meeajaun - take your pick), is an unlikable nerd trying to please everyone in his life, especially his successful daddy. He applies his study of energy transmitted by frequency waves to Casey's Mommy obsession and creates a "dead-a-phone" that could potentially allow people to speak with loved ones in the space around us.
Before this honestly intriguing premise can even get on its feet, Kyle is electrocuted by his own computer equipment during a scuffle with their flat mate, Edmund. Confusion ensues as Casey wants to get help for Kyle, but Ed, fearing the scandal would cost him a scheduled promotion, tries to stop her, but fails.
Casey finds herself being told by the police that she could be charged in Kyle's death. Unknown to the officer, Kyle, now a spirit, can manipulate energy which he uses to electrocute people, like the officer (among many others), which allows Casey to escape. Unfortunately, she is now wanted for a series of bizarre electrical deaths.
Kyle does a Max Headroom routine before possessing Edmund's body. Kyle's daddy shows up. Casey's large number of murder charges and legal issues are eliminated with one throwaway sentence. People die. That pesky, inconsistent PTSD issue figures into the climax (like you are surprised by this?).
As I watched "Killerhertz", I propped up my sense of disbelief into regions where oxygen is non-existent to give this movie a chance. Until the camera focused on the wide black (duct? Electrical?) tape used to outline Kyle's body. After laughing long and hard enough that I choked, I had to give up and start insulting the movie back each time it seemed to forget real people are supposed to watch this thing.
"Killerhertz" cannot make up its mind what it is about. Casey and her mom? The "dead-a-phone"? Using electrical systems for travel and attack, like in "Ghost in the Machine" (1993) or Wes Craven's "Shocker"? Body hopping like "The Hidden"? Disembodied assault like the Id Monster from "Forbidden Planet"? Pick one and develop it properly.
While you should not expect Oscar-caliber performances, you should expect something better than what sounds like an earnest attempt by strangers plucked off the city streets. No one in the cast is helped by dialogue that often sounds unnatural.
Full disclosure: I'd like to say that Haley Osborne gives the best performance in the film. Key phrase being "I'd like to". The fact she reminds me of Susan Swift (for whom I had a "crush" when I was a youngster) might shade my opinion. Do keep in mind I did NOT say her performance was great. With this movie, you work with what you are given.
Bonus questions for the filmmakers/writers: Why insist on your two lead characters being from America when they clearly speak with very natural English accents? Why is most of your movie dubbed in post which gives the whole film an unreal and unprofessional feel?
Even though the film was reportedly made for less than six thousand US dollars, "Killerhertz" misses every opportunity to be an interesting film to, instead, be like the character Kyle - it tries to please too many and fails on every count.
To all the whiny babies who think this is the worst movie out there, you should cork it until you have watched one hell of a lot more movies. Try "Killerhertz" if you want something worse. Oh, no, wait, watch "Toxic Schlock" and then get back to me.
"Nukie" is pointless, dull, pathetic, and scatterbrained, but just because Red Letter Media ridicules it, you don't have to follow in lockstep with them.
Need another title that is worse. "Demonic Tapes"! It is a moron listening to cassettes for 90 minutes!!! At least "Nukie" pretended to have some action, not some millennial twit listening to tapes and avoiding the phone. Oh, wait, that IS a millennial, just replace the tapes with crap music. And the guac toast. And artisan latte.
Get a grip, folks. "Awful" is a sliding scale, and you are NOT the freaking Gold Standard by which we measure things. You aren't that important.
"Nukie" is pointless, dull, pathetic, and scatterbrained, but just because Red Letter Media ridicules it, you don't have to follow in lockstep with them.
Need another title that is worse. "Demonic Tapes"! It is a moron listening to cassettes for 90 minutes!!! At least "Nukie" pretended to have some action, not some millennial twit listening to tapes and avoiding the phone. Oh, wait, that IS a millennial, just replace the tapes with crap music. And the guac toast. And artisan latte.
Get a grip, folks. "Awful" is a sliding scale, and you are NOT the freaking Gold Standard by which we measure things. You aren't that important.