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Hotel Artemis (2018)
6/10
Too many boring parts and the action scenes have been done a million time before!
3 October 2018
It takes parts from other movies then adds some bad acting to make it just OK. Nothing horrible just very predictable, so your waiting more for it to get to some intense scenes which are just not good enough when they do arrive.
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Staunton Hill (2009 Video)
1/10
Horror at its worst.
29 July 2011
Romero's Nightmare is yours now have fun. Move is so boring that even when there is some gore it just makes you want to FF to the next random gore scene.

It starts slow with the common young people telling stories and walking around then driving with folks then more stories and scenes of the woods and then trees and a farm then more slow speak and some violence. The fight stuff makes Pro wrestling looking real. The monster man child is a riot of bore and made fun of with lame joke lines that you hear in your local school yard.

It's a 2 out of 10 if you like gore with no story and a long buildup and and an awful ending.

If you want to see a good old fat farm boy who slices and clobbers punks then watch Carver who would make buddy his bitch.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001333/combined
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Carver (2008 Video)
10/10
Graphic Violence at its best
31 January 2011
Warning: Spoilers
10 out 10 for the man Carver who needs to break skulls with his big nasty sledge hammer. Some nice scenes where punks and bitches get there slaughter by a guy who has the need to feed his buzzing rage.

Watch as Carver takes a pliers and clamps a punks nuts and squeezes it with all his might and grins with glee as it explodes all over in a nice squishy bloody mess then dumps some crap all over from the bowl the punk was taken a dump on. There are other fun scenes as has been discussed and some might fine acting.

I gave it a 10 based on the genre! I rate movies vs other movies in the same category and this one is 100% solid killing and great for horror and gore.
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Monster Dog (1984)
1/10
Pure Boredom Pefect for Our 4 Legged Friends!
14 September 2008
Long scenes of weirdos trying to act like they care about whats happening around them when all they do is stare blankly at each other.

The dubbing is just like the Saturday morning Kung fu shows with lips moving and no sound.

Alice looks like one of the woman in this movie just with a BIG witch nose I hope they added that on during makeup cause that baby is huge, It scared the $&%X out of me more than the little kiddie makeup used during Halloween that they used to make this bore fest.

I will say one good thing about this dumpster acting as a movie The Acting was great by the dogs they used! I see 45 Alice fans or just some Carmel covered nuts gave it a 10 that just shows you that Flies vote here to.

I gave it 1 star out of 10 cause they don't have any thing lower.
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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (2008 TV Movie)
2/10
DR. Boring MR. Stiff
10 August 2008
I love how people say the transformation was good when there is little transformation from Dr. to Hyde. All they did here was have the actor twitch his head and act stiff and make bizarre faces like he was constipated.

So all you have is the worst remake of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!

The one BIG mistake this film makes is when the helper of DR. Jekyll testifies, it doesn't make any sense just like most of this slow moving farce.

I gave it a 2 instead of 1 cause of the yellow lights that were used during the night scenes (HPS Bulbs In the Light Fixtures) just sheer brilliance.
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DarkPlace (2007 Video)
1/10
Repetitive Horror Flick For The Sick
7 March 2008
First ten minutes is all that is needed to see whole movie since then it is repeated over and over.

First the title of the movie should of been Want to see a DarkPlace a few thousand times?

The actors are just showing up and reading off of big cue cards held by the other actors. The horror scenes are lame and have been done on TV since the 60s.

There is no main character that anyone would care about so whats the point of showing the same bad scenes over with the cast of 5.

I would be embarrassed to have my name attached to this mess of clips thrown together by picking numbers out of a hat.
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Cloverfield (I) (2008)
7/10
Monsters Kicking Manhattans Ass
24 January 2008
Good and scary roller coaster ride filled with the terror of trying to hide in a city under attack! You can feel and hear the weight of the monster as it walks by cracking the street and the fear that it is causing all those involved.

If you want to be scared out of your skin then go as soon as you can and watch this one of a kind Sci-Fi thriller.

The reason I gave it a 7/10 was because of the many scenes that were very hard to see because of the low light and shaking of the camera, making it confusing to know what's happening.

I know that is what they want but at times it is way over done and for to long! Still as good as it gets, It will make you think twice about being in a big city with monsters!
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Constantine (2005)
2/10
Possessed by boredom!
26 February 2005
What can you say when the best part is when a movie ends.

It starts out with a bang and then slowly never seems to know which direction it wants to go.

Keanu Reeves is smoking a cigarette in almost every scene and seems like he is trying his best not to pass out from boredom.

FX is average at best, feels like a ghost buster rip off, At least I laughed when the demons appeared. They look like they were made by a Etch A Sketch. Another funny part was when he uses his weapons that look like some one glued some old water pistol together and painted it gold.

So if you want to fall a sleep waiting for loud noises then dark quiet scenes that are hard to hear then this is the movie for you.

DO NOT SEE!
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