Change Your Image
Wolford
Reviews
Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (2011)
More Chihuahuas!!
I liked the original Beverly Hills Chihuahua well enough. It certainly wasn't spectacular, but it was OK. I remember saying at the time: "It needs more chihuahuas." Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 answers my request. Chloe and Papi are back with a litter of puppies. They have some really cute adventures and save the day with chihuahua can-do. The film is quick too, with an 84 minute run time. It is a nice little kids movie. The dogs are cute as buttons, which I think is the point of these movies. My 12 year old enjoyed that. I did as well. I think adults will like it too as long as they remember that it is a Disney children's movie about talking dogs. Unfortunately, Drew Barrymore does not return as the voice of Chloe.
Pink Flamingos (1972)
The worst movie EVER.
Easily the worst movie my girlfriend or I had ever seen. And between the two of us, we have seen some real winners. First, a lot of people think this is some kind of grand statement by Waters about America. But it's not. It's a mad dash by Waters to show you every disgusting image he can think of. Sure it's nasty. But in a nation with G.G. Allin, Eminem, and John Wayne Gacy the shock value is gone. And disgusting for disgusting's sake doesn't make any kind of profound statement. America gives people a wide latitude to be as degenerate as they want. That doesn't make America filthy. Second, the acting is horrible. Half the lines sound like they're being read off the cue cards for the very first time. The other half sound a little better, but they all lack any kind of real inflection or feeling. And the plot... how are these people the filthiest people alive? Somewhere right now, as you're reading this, someone is plotting the torture murder of a child for sexual gratification. How is Divine and crew filthier than that? They're not, and they're not even close. I can't think of a good thing about this movie, except that I've seen it now and won't have to again.
Fifteen and Pregnant (1998)
Horrible cliche after horrible cliche
*****POSSIBLE SPOILERS***** As though you couldn't figure this plot out. This movie is terrible. Every tired cliche about teen pregnancy is trotted out to terrify girls that might be having sex. It seems like a film from the 50s. Sex = babies! Always and every time! Remember that girls! There is no birth control or abortion. They are left out almost completely. Abortion is mentioned twice briefly, and never by the girl having the baby. It is not even discussed as an option, although many, many girls would go this route. The speech the girl gives to the class about her experiences with her child is so depressing is seems to be an ad for abortion, but no. Safe sex isn't discussed either, because the film's makers want girls to know that premarital sex equals you having to care for a baby. There are heaping helpings of cheesiness throughout this movie. There are a lot of horribly canned arguments and snide comments about the pregnancy. The brother and sister seem upset about it, although no one seems inconvenienced by the pregnancy except the girl. A lot of the scenes seem very forced. Some of the better cheese and cliches: The boyfriend is a sleazeball, and leaves as soon as she gets pregnant (he even drives a Camaro!). He makes occasional efforts to be nice, but I think they wrote that in to try and make it seem like he might stay. In fact, none of the pregnant girls in the movie have a boyfriend that sticks around. One seems to, but no, he leaves eventually. Tina is forced into a class for unwed mothers, even though there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for this. She throws up in the middle of Christmas dinner. No one comes to the baby shower. This didn't seem very surprising because they only show her with two friends anyway. And for the last tired cliche - at the end of the movie the whole family comes together to welcome and accept the girl and her terrible mistake. Cliches and cheesiness aside, this movie drags. It would have made a better one hour after school special than a movie.
Das Boot (1981)
I swear the german version I saw was six hours long.
I once heard a veteran tell me that war is days of boredom followed by 10 minutes of sheer terror and panic. This film captures the days of boredom perfectly. I swear the german version I saw was six hours long. Das Boot might be a stunning depiction of what real submarine life was like; but like real war it should be avoided.