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Reviews
The Big Hit (1998)
Much better than expected. Potential spoilers
My viewing of this movie was pure accident, since I borrowed a tape from a friend and this movie happened to be on the tape. Seeing Matt Wahlberg as contract killer with a personal promblems was a delight. Wahlberg is not as funny as John Cusack in "Gross Pointe Blanke" but he has his funny points. The lengths that Wahlberg "Smiley" goes to find and return the rental movie 'King Kong Lives' is unbelievably hilarious. Christina Applegate as a "gold digger girlfriend" with a predjuicous jewish mother is also a treat.
Off the subject, I.M.H.O. I believed that the tv show "Nanny" should have hired Christina Applegate as the jewish nanny instead of Fran Dressler. At least viewers would not be subjected to Dressler's high pitched cackling laugh
Timequest (2000)
Very Good Sci-Fi movie that has not being publicized
Sci-fi movies about time travel have always interested me and one about the JFK assination seem intriguing. The movie starts confusing in 1979 with mysterious government agents picking up a prisoner off a bus. Next is Nov. 22, 1963 in Dallas,Tx with Jackie Kennedy startled by an unexpected vistor. I won't spoil the plot, but it is not firmly grounded in theortical physics. However it does makes you wonder what would happened if JFK surived to have a second term. The best quote is when Robert Kennedy shows J.Edgar Hoover a picture of the F.B.I. director in comprimising situation,saying, "Nice dress you are wearing (in the photo). My wife has the exact same one in her closet." Unfortunately this intriguing movie has received little publicity.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
3 stars for Babette the Robot Maid.
I had expected Eddie Murphy and Randy Quaid to deliver outstanding performances in this movie since they are both experienced talented comic actors, wrong. Instead I was more impressed by the performance of Jacynthe Rene' who played Babette the french robot maid. Her performance reminded me of the creative performers of Cirque' du Solei, who use actions rather than words to entertain. Although,her performance consits mostly of dropping her feather duster, bending over, and saying "Oops", it is the most entertaing part of the movie i.m.h.o. The worst part of the movie, Jay Mohr trying to perform as a Frank Sinatra lounge singer. So 3 stars for Jacynthe Rene' and and 1 star for the special effects of the movie. Watch this movie only if you receive a free movie coupon, enjoy campy sci-fi jokes, or are passionate for french maids.
The Jazz Singer (1980)
Neil Diamond in black face and an afro wig.
I am admirer of Neil Diamond's music (schmaltz pop and all) so I finally saw the movie "Jazz Singer". My expectations was that the movie was based on Neil Diamond's life, instead we have a pop music version of "Fiddler on the Roof". Should Neil Diamond character follow "tradition" as a cantor or go into a career as a pop musician. The funniest scene, i.m.h.o., is when the movies Neil Diamond's band playing at all African American club. Diamond's character pretends to be black by wearing black face and and an afro wig. Overall 3 stars for the music of Neil Diamond and 2 stars for the performance of Laurence Oliver.
The Birds II: Land's End (1994)
I don't which is dumber the town mayor or the birds.(spoilers)
I only gave 2 points for this movie, 1 point for the talents of Jan Rubes who portrays the only sane character in the whole town and 1 point for the suprising ending.. After seeing this movie I can understand why the birds attack the family and the town. The family is messed up, a father who is so absorbed in his work.A wife that might be having an affair with her old boy friend. The town mayor makes Boss Hogg from the "Dukes of Hazzard" look like a genius.
The town mayor seems to be more interested in billards than the town promblems. Of course the mayor does not even think of calling the National Guard or at least organizing a posse. No, the mayor goes out attacking 100 thousand violent seagulls with a single pump action shotgun.
The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)
Finding another way to kill a vampire (spoilers)
I rented this movie from the bargin bin at the local video store. About the only thing I enjoy the movie was the talents of Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, other wise the movie would have rated a one. I did learn an intriguing way to kill a vampire ( with a certain bush ?!).
But this movie left me with more questions than answers. For example, Peter Cushing, character mentions he fought Dracula before, what movie is he referring to? Why does Peter Cushing character make makes only one silver bullet to fight Dracula? Why do British horror films have no promblem with nudity, but shy away from showing violence. If you can wade through the dreary half hour you be treated to a good performance by the two talents of Cushing and Christopher Lee.
Here's Lucy (1968)
"Nude Painting" fiasco or the first I saw 'Here's Lucy'
Recently I was volunteering at the local library sorting used donations. These used items are resold to pay for community programs such as guest speakers. Volunteers have first chance to purchase donated items. I was intrigued when I came across a VCR tape with the written title "Nude Painting". I was intrigued and purchased the tape thinking it was a program on how to paint nude models. However, I was treated to an 'Here's Lucy' episode where Lucille models to help a frustrated painter sell his paintings. The painter was portrayed by Danny Thomas. This was first time I had seen the show 'Here's Lucy' and I was impressed. I had expected a corny outdated show instead I was treated to a pretty good comedy show that made me laugh. Whether I was laughing at myself for being fooled, or at the comic routines I don't know.
American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002)
Why did they put "Jackie" and "Capt. Kirk" in this film?
I believe there is only one decent actor in this film and it isn't Mila Kunis ("Jackie" from The 70's show) or William Shatner ("Capt. Kirk"). The only decent actor in my opinion is Geraint Wyn Davies. Davies plays a supporting role as a psychologist who tries to warn everyone that there is psycho killer on the loose. Kunis acting is just pathetic, and Shatner's acting is whimisical at best.
Long Day's Journey Into Night (1962)
Cliff notes for a boring college class.
I was taking an American literature class when I watched this movie. The American literature class teacher was boring, but at least I read some great authors such as, Eugene O'Neil. I consider this movie the Cliff note's version of the play. The movie might seem outdated at first since it in black and white, but Katherine Hepburn and the others actors talents make up for this deficency. I was honestly impressed by this movie, since I had expected the movie to be dull. However I was hooked into the play within the first ten minutes.
The Patchwork Girl of Oz (1914)
T. Edison finest picture
Thomas Edison not only was the inventor of the motion picture camera, but he was the one of the earliest movie producers. I have been a fan Baum's "Wizard of OZ" books for years so when I saw this movie at my local library I was intrigued. Techincal the movie shows its age being silent and some parts of the movie missing, and the special effects looking primitive. The movie closely follows the book, while being quality family entertainment.
Follow Me, Boys! (1966)
Boy Scout troop memories
I first saw this movie during the mid 1980's when I was at Boy Scout ski retreat. We were staying at a church (cheap lodging) and watched this movie twice (Friday and Saturday nite). The first time our troop saw we were intrigued by movie. There are few movies about Boy Scouts out there so this movie was a delight. The second time being rowdy teens the Scouts began to pandeomine and ad-lib the lines. For example during the scene when the wife tells Fred McMurray that she can not have any kids. One of the boys shouted "Don't touch her, she's sterile" A delightful movie, a bit corny at times (the behavior seems outdated compared to modern times) but still an excellent movie.
The Christmas Gift (1986)
John Denver's speech (spoilers included)
From what I remember this tv-movie made me feel warm and fuzzy during the Christmas season. John Denver plays a single father with a pre-teen daughter. If think John Denver plays a church pastor since there is an ending scene where he addresses a congregation. John Denver thanks the congregation for rescuing his daughter from a snowstorm and says the true meaning of Christmas is sharing God's love. Overall beautiful scenery, inspirational message and much better than the plethora of Christmas holiday TV movies.
After MASH (1983)
Klinger in jail.
More than half of the original M.A.S.H. cast was doing other projects when this sequel aired. As previous commenters have mentioned the jokes were stale, and the antics appeared staged. The episode I remember was that Klinger was back in the U.S. and married to his Korean wife. Klinger got in some scuffle and the ending scene showed him in jail with the overprinted statement "Stay tuned will return in 6 months." I thought at the time, "why the h@** should I wait 6 months to see how Klinger gets out jail". If the producers thought they could bulid the public suspense by waiting 6 months, they lost!
Archie Bunker's Place (1979)
Only one memorable episode
Unfortunately I only saw a few episodes when in it orginially aired and have been watching repeats on TV land. I seriously wonder if Archie Bunker's place was staged before a live audience. The laughter in the series seemed almost forced. In my opinion the only memorable episode is when Archie Bunker visits Reggie Jackson and shows off his hidden racist views. Archie Bunker seems to have mellowed from his previous "All in Family" series and is a mere chuckle than a rip roaring laugh.
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)
A corny horror were you wait for the killer to die.
After watching "Jack Frost" the killer snowman, I was ready for the sequel. The sequel has many promblems with it. First less than 10 minutes is spent explaing how Jack Frost returned from the dead. Second the movie has a snowman attacking guests of a tropical Caribbean resort. 3. The resort guests reminded me of the comical characters from the movie "Clue" Even though the movie explains how Sheriff Tiler is taking a vacation to relieve him of the traumatic experience of the snowman Jack Frost, the idea that a snowman would follow a person a hot and humid Caribbean island is pure ridulcolus. Plus the relatives that tag along with Sheriff Tiler and wife make Jethro Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies) appear to be a genius. After the introduction I only wanted to see two things. 1. How snowman Jack Frost attacked the ladies. 2. How the Sheriff Tiler would kill Jack Frost. The Jack Frost attacks were intriguing but not as clever as the first movie. And the lethal weapon for Jack Frost was downright strange. For potential movie viewers I will only tell you to think "tropical daiquris".
Jack Frost (1997)
A fun B grade horror with Shannon Elizabeth
Yes this a B- grade horror. But at least the producers, directors, and cast does not pretend this flick is manna from heaven. The plot is corny, a psychotic serial killer on his way to execution is splashed with genetic acid turning him into a snow man. The snowman a.k.a. Jack Frost then goes on a murdering rampage to find the small town sheriff that finally arrested him. With a limited budget the crew had to make do with limited special effects, most of the money appears to spent on the snowman's costume. Particullary difficult shots are managed by cartoons or pan away shots (shots where the camera moves away to disguise the details).
This is no kid's movie and should not be confused with Disney movie of the same title. If you do not let your children watch pg-13 movies alone than parents should not let their kids watch this movie. This movie has two claims to fame. 1. The beatiful Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie)did her first major movie role. The scene where Jack Frost attacks Shannon Elizabeth is worth watching a few times. 2. This movie has the worst snowman joke ever. The joke is so bad that the directors credit the joke teller in the credit list.
The Gnome-Mobile (1967)
What Disney song writer came up with the stupid song?
I can not believe that the great American Upton Sinclair wrote a children's book about gnomes. I further can not believe that Disney, the leader of children's entertainment, could have produced such a load saccahrain sweet moronic celluloid. Finally I get eerie shivers when I recall the Gnome Mobile song. All I can explain that the songwriters must had eaten too much mellow yellow (the movie was created in the late 1960's after all). As for the rest of the movie, just remember that Disney went periods of creative droughts, and this movie is proof.
The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit (1998)
Great Latin comedians but lacking hilarity
Although this film has some of the funniest Latin comedians inluding Sid Caesar and Martinez (Gomez in the 1990's Addams Family) this film has a good plot, but somehow lacks the hilarity. Maybe it is the quickly switching between characters. One moment the film is focused on the helpless romantics, next a political activist who can get his voice heard, then Sid Casear as homeless man with filthy habits. Although there a some of slapstick humor it is unfortunately too far apart.
Happy Gilmore (1996)
A Sneak preview?
When I was college this movie came onto my campus as a sneak preview. I am glad I saw it as a free movie because other wise I would have demanded my money back. Simply put Adam Sandler plays the same loveable goofball (think Jerry Lewis) with undiscovered talent. This time around Sandler portrays "Happy Gilmore" a hockey obessed player who takes up professional golf to earn money to save his grandma's house. The funny moment in this movie for me is after Happy Gilmore exclaims "The Price is Wrong!!" to Bob Barker (host of The Price is Right) , then Bob Barker gives Happy Gilmore a roundhouse punch to the jaw. Does this mean I wish I could give Mr. Sandler an uppercut, not for this mild mannered person. However I would like to ask Adam Sandler to stop using the same character for his movies. I admit that some fans adore Adam Sandler in every one of his movie, but I diagree.
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)
A child's cooking skills.
Throughout the years I have see the film a few times during the holidays. I would rank it as one of the top ten Peanuts films that Charles Schulz did. As a child I could relate to Charlie Brown whose cooking skills only include making toast and popcorn. After reading the comment about Woodstock eating the turkey, I noticed some thing else slightly distrubting. In this film short Charlie Brown invites all his friends for dinner. Yet Charlie Brown's only ethnic friend is Franklin, who is African American. Franklin does not say more than two lines in the film. Yet considering the film is nearly 30 years old this limited inclusion of multi-ethinic persons is understandable.
Minority Report (2002)
Choices of Endings-- Spoilers
Spoiler included. Okay I will direct, I enjoy everything but the last 10 minutes of the film. As the the very last scene where the Director has a choice of whether or not to shot John Anderson, I disagreed with the choice the author made. The 3 choices were the Director of the Pre-cogs had was . 1. shoot John, get arrested for two murders, save the system. 2. not shoot John, get arrested for only one murder, have the system scraped. Or choice 3 which not get arrested because of suicide. Even when choice 3 is taken, I disagree with the consequences. I do not think that the Government would have abandoned the pre-cog system just because of some unintentional deaths. I can think of several millitary and government projects ( for example: the building of the Hoover Dam) where a person's death is considered "an acceptable risk", and the project continues
Átame! (1989)
Sexy subtitled black comedy.
I have enjoyed this movie since college. This Spainsh film is subtitled so it may take time to understand the dialogue. The plot is defintely unusual, a former mental patient kidnaps and bonds a B-movie actress. Yet somehow the plot shows that romance can emerge in the most unusal circumstances.
Spoiler... Other reviewers have mentioned that there was a history (pre-plot) between the former mental patient and the actress not mentioned in the movie. Appartently the former mental patient (kidnapper) had a one night stand with the B-movie actress when she was on illegal drugs. And during the time mental patient was incaretated all he could do was become obessed with the actress.
Superman (1978)
Lost track of times I have seen this film
This was one of my favorite films as a kid, so tried to watch it whenever it appeared on TV. I enjoyed the comedy of the film more than the action. I especially thrilled by the bumblings of Ned Beatty as Otis. I have also wondered about alternative versions of the film. The film shown on network TV has a scene of Superman enduring boobie traps of Lex Luthor including fire and ice. The film version does not include this scene.
School for Sex (1969)
A topless version of the Benny Hill show
My local Blockbuster did not have the film I wanted so I rented this film instead. As I watched this film I thought I was watching a topless version of the Benny Hill show. The Benny Hill show included recurring sketches where Benny played "a dirty old man from Britain" trying to seduce an attractive young ladies. I thought this film had the similiar theme of the Benny Hill sketches except the girls were often topless in this movie. Even though the film was "wild" for the late 60's it may be consider only a comedy farce by today standards. I consider this a good movie when a person wants to watch a no plot comedy with topless ladies. Only warning is that the quality of the movie may be sub standard since this was a low budget film, and the color, tint, and sharpness may have faded.
Fantasy Island (1998)
Darker than the original
Fantasy Island 1998, as I like to call it now being broadcast on the Sci-Fi network. Having grown up with original 1978 version I am not comfortable with this newer version. The newer version is more realistic with a Mr. Roarke (Malcom McDowell) that seems to take pleasure when his guests get into trouble. So my verdict is watch the 1998 version if you enjoy special effects and have not seen the original, otherwise watch the re-runs of the 1978 version.