I never thought I'd say this, but not even Gary Busey can save this sorry excuse for a movie. His confused ramblings are obviously the highlights, but who can really salvage a comedy with no plot, no jokes and absolutely no idea which direction it's going? It doesn't help that he clearly banged out all his scenes in one afternoon. He disappears without explanation for large chunks of the movie, which is rather odd when you're top-billed. In one scene he's asleep on a table and I'm not entirely convinced that was scripted.
Come to think of it: I'm not sure if any of this was scripted. Writer/Director Straw Weisman seems to go for the Judd Apatow approach of just giving a general outline for a scene and letting the actors improvise. This idea might work with actors who can you know, improvise. You can't just throw complete nobodies in the deep end and hope something funny will happen by accident. The absolute lowpoint of the movie is a scene where the obligatory villain shows up in an attempt to close the bikini model academy (what am I doing with my life?) down. I've just mentioned all the information this scene needs to convey. It lasts seven (!) minutes because none of the actors knew how to end it. This movie can't possibly have a blooper reel, because they used everything.
It's very tough to find a silver lining in this movie, even though I'm really trying. I guess the ending contest between the good and 'evil' academy is a fun throwback to 80s sex comedies, but like all sequences it lasts about ten times longer than it needs to. And as someone who actually enjoys noteworthy offenders like "Revenge Of The Nerds" and "Porky's"... how misogynist is this movie? Every female character is a complete airhead who does just about anything for cash and is only there to please the guys. Hell, at one point the good guys keep the models in the academy by... drugging them with brownies? Somehow they're completely okay with that when they wake up because movie.
"Bikini Model Academy" reminded me of recent David DeCoteau projects, which is never good. An hour of random footage is not a finished movie, no matter how many desperate young actresses are willing to take their tops off (three by my count). Now someone please wake up Busey.
