- Ron White: I told my wife, I said, "You get there at 5:30 you can fly with me but let me tell you something Sugar Tits, at 5:31 I am wheels up and I am fucking gone!"... I said that. Not very loud, but I said it. 5:31 gets there. Is she there?
- [audience shouts 'No']
- Ron White: No! Do I leave?
- [shouts from audience of 'No' and 'Yes']
- Ron White: ... No! 6:01 gets there. Is she there? No. Do I leave? No. Why? Because this dick won't suck itself, that's why.