Let's not pull any punches: from the very start, the dialogue is bad. The scene writing is bad. The characters, direction, and acting are bad. The cinematography is flat; the production values are painfully barefaced; the audio is glaring and sound effects are bewilderingly exaggerated. Blunt, gawky, heavy-handed, insipid, tedious, floundering, actively aggravating. Tiresomely referential dialogue, ableist dialogue, sexist dialogue, light treatment of alcoholism, outrageously selective and haphazard portrayal of "amnesia," and more. This seems to have been the first writing credit for Kat Reichmuth, (and only second acting credit), so I can't blame her too much; this seems to have been several credits in for Michael Fredianelli, in every regard, so I can blame him plenty, such as for utterly egregiously plot development. 'Apocrypha' is astonishingly weak and dull, and just plain terrible, in every single capacity.
There are ideas here, yes. There are no ideas here that you can't find elsewhere, utilized in much better ways without the dumbfounding flaws and shortcomings. The list of people or production companies that have made better movies includes The Asylum, Uwe Boll, and even Screenager Productions and Uncork'd Entertainment. It was only a masochistic sense of commitment that allowed me to keep this on, because in every meaningful fashion it's flagrantly amateurish, sloppy, hackneyed, juvenile, unbelievable, half-witted, bumbling, and horrid. It's proof positive of the conventional wisdom "just because you can, doesn't mean you should," because Fredianelli and Reichmuth should not have made this film, and they especially shouldn't have made it widely available for other people to watch online. One might argue that the feature finds a tad more strength in the back end, but that's still effectively multiplying by zero.
There's nothing more to say. No one should ever watch this. 'Apocrypha' is empty-headed, tawdry rubbish, and these are 103 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. Avoid.
