31 reviews
CREEP VAN is a very, very low budget slasher flick, barely more expensive than your average Troma movie although it's a lot more serious in tone. Saying that, there is a Lloyd Kaufman cameo to hammer home the similarities, along with a couple of entirely goofy sex scenes that are played for laughs and have absolutely nothing to do with the central thrust of the storyline.
The creep van of the title is used by a sinister serial killer to butcher his usually female victims, and it takes a couple of no-good characters to team up and go after him. The plot is very light and pretty much an excuse for a string of gory deaths, which are the best thing about the film. The special effects are surprisingly decent for what is a low budget, even if they're completely laughable at the same time. Still, it takes more than gore to make a decent movie, and this is anything but; just another ultra-low budget piece of trash no different from all the rest.
The creep van of the title is used by a sinister serial killer to butcher his usually female victims, and it takes a couple of no-good characters to team up and go after him. The plot is very light and pretty much an excuse for a string of gory deaths, which are the best thing about the film. The special effects are surprisingly decent for what is a low budget, even if they're completely laughable at the same time. Still, it takes more than gore to make a decent movie, and this is anything but; just another ultra-low budget piece of trash no different from all the rest.
- Leofwine_draca
- May 14, 2015
- Permalink
Know what I hate about a lot of modern horror films? The fact that so many have good, juicy death scenes... surrounded by acres and acres of pure undiluted s**t. I think you know where I'm going with this. The titular van has windows that'll decapitate you, seatbelts designed to suffocate and a button on the radio that will send a spike right through your heart. Great.
Until you realise... you have to tolerate unfunny sex jokes, repellent characters, hokey dialogue and BBAADD acting for 95% of the length. No thanks. Also, with all the VHS tapes in the background, and no sign of a laptop anywhere, could this unaccountably be set in the 90's? If so, I give them apropos. Of Nothing.
Ugh. Stupid film. Go away. 4/10
Until you realise... you have to tolerate unfunny sex jokes, repellent characters, hokey dialogue and BBAADD acting for 95% of the length. No thanks. Also, with all the VHS tapes in the background, and no sign of a laptop anywhere, could this unaccountably be set in the 90's? If so, I give them apropos. Of Nothing.
Ugh. Stupid film. Go away. 4/10
- natashabowiepinky
- Jan 17, 2014
- Permalink
The number of ultra-ultra-low-low beginner's school films seems to be increasing daily (thank you digital and thank you RED). Unfortunately they also should come with a disclaimer for consumers who want to be assured that what they're about to watch contains some level of competence.
While Creep Van doesn't really rank into that stinking dogpile, it comes a bit too close for comfort at times. I haven't seen "Gag" --- though it does sound pretty horrific, and not in a good way --- but at least "Creep Van" is reasonably well made in the technical sense.
Creep Van follows in the mold of Vehicular Homicide stuff from the '70s like The Car, only there's a very real psycho inside this titular rolling weapon. Whether that's good or not --- well --- I couldn't tell you, because there's no real reason given why the "creep" is slaughtering so many people with so many intricate and (sometimes) amusing deathtraps. Not that psychos NEED a reason to kill people, but if they don't, the filmmaker should at least give us something interesting to watch. That's not the pairing of Brian Kolodziej and Amy Wahrell who, though likable, don't have enough acting chops combined to chew through creamed corn. And isn't Wahrell a bit OLD for Kolodziej? I thought she was his mom half the time. But, I digress....
The main problem with this movie is, well...it doesn't know what it wants to be, exactly. The tone is all over the place: it wants to be a creepy, somber '80s throwback one minute, then a Fangoria face-ripped-off fright fest (but without one genuine shock, ironically), and then a wacky-as-all-get-out Troma schlocker. It actually does succeed in places, but the overall effect is jarringly uneven. It just doesn't have the sheen of a well-made film...even the stuff coming out of Troma these days is miles ahead in overall production quality.
Never thought I'd be referring to Troma as a mainstream standard but...in the context of Creep Van, it is.
While Creep Van doesn't really rank into that stinking dogpile, it comes a bit too close for comfort at times. I haven't seen "Gag" --- though it does sound pretty horrific, and not in a good way --- but at least "Creep Van" is reasonably well made in the technical sense.
Creep Van follows in the mold of Vehicular Homicide stuff from the '70s like The Car, only there's a very real psycho inside this titular rolling weapon. Whether that's good or not --- well --- I couldn't tell you, because there's no real reason given why the "creep" is slaughtering so many people with so many intricate and (sometimes) amusing deathtraps. Not that psychos NEED a reason to kill people, but if they don't, the filmmaker should at least give us something interesting to watch. That's not the pairing of Brian Kolodziej and Amy Wahrell who, though likable, don't have enough acting chops combined to chew through creamed corn. And isn't Wahrell a bit OLD for Kolodziej? I thought she was his mom half the time. But, I digress....
The main problem with this movie is, well...it doesn't know what it wants to be, exactly. The tone is all over the place: it wants to be a creepy, somber '80s throwback one minute, then a Fangoria face-ripped-off fright fest (but without one genuine shock, ironically), and then a wacky-as-all-get-out Troma schlocker. It actually does succeed in places, but the overall effect is jarringly uneven. It just doesn't have the sheen of a well-made film...even the stuff coming out of Troma these days is miles ahead in overall production quality.
Never thought I'd be referring to Troma as a mainstream standard but...in the context of Creep Van, it is.
- BakuryuuTyranno
- Oct 13, 2012
- Permalink
Good special effects and not bad acting for relatively unknowns. The script is pretty good and the unexpectedly timed gore worked. It was sort of a dark comedy more than a slasher because it made me laugh and gross at the same time. This writer and director should team up with Rob Zombie on a project because there's a lot of potential. Same with the acting crew. What makes low budget films intolerable to me is when I can tell the actors are acting. In this case, even the small parts were played by good actors. And the main characters bid a great job. I would have liked a more developed character a little earlier on for the killer. The camera was low budget. But this crew and caste all have potential.
- wrenwhitff
- Jan 10, 2021
- Permalink
The clichéd image of rusty and ramshackle old vans and their drivers depicted here in "Creep Van" corresponds completely with what we've all been taught when we were young. "People that drive vans are evil" is what a mother says during the intro, just when her kid reaches underneath a nasty white Ford to grab his ball. That's exactly what my mother said to me - and what all mothers said to their children - in the nineties! What the freak driver doesn't do, however, is lure the children into his van by handing out free candy.
So, the set up for this film is quite good and recognizable, but then it quickly transcends into a cheap and trashy (but nevertheless highly enjoyable) B-movie with absurd situations and over-the-top gore. Campbell, a financially struggling 20-something guy living in Detroit, responds to the "for sale" sign on the white van because he's tired of taking the bus to his lousy job at the carwash. The owner of the van is a genuine psycho, though, who enjoys slaughtering anyone who comes near the old wreck.
I watched director Scott W. McKinley's other long-feature movie "Gag", and it was - hands down - one of worst "Saw" rip-offs ever. Luckily, I didn't realize at first that "Creep Van" was from the same guy, otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered. McKinley's second (and last, to this date) attempt at directing is much better, because it sticks to ingredients that are guaranteed success: extreme gore, gratuitous nudity, unpretentious comedy, and cameos from infamous Troma-producers and adult film stars. The special and splatter effects, courtesy of the too-young-deceased Robert Hall, are excellent and include a couple of highlights like an airbag full of nails and nifty death traps.
So, the set up for this film is quite good and recognizable, but then it quickly transcends into a cheap and trashy (but nevertheless highly enjoyable) B-movie with absurd situations and over-the-top gore. Campbell, a financially struggling 20-something guy living in Detroit, responds to the "for sale" sign on the white van because he's tired of taking the bus to his lousy job at the carwash. The owner of the van is a genuine psycho, though, who enjoys slaughtering anyone who comes near the old wreck.
I watched director Scott W. McKinley's other long-feature movie "Gag", and it was - hands down - one of worst "Saw" rip-offs ever. Luckily, I didn't realize at first that "Creep Van" was from the same guy, otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered. McKinley's second (and last, to this date) attempt at directing is much better, because it sticks to ingredients that are guaranteed success: extreme gore, gratuitous nudity, unpretentious comedy, and cameos from infamous Troma-producers and adult film stars. The special and splatter effects, courtesy of the too-young-deceased Robert Hall, are excellent and include a couple of highlights like an airbag full of nails and nifty death traps.
I enjoyed this. It didn't try to be anything other than what it was - a cheesy, poorly acted cheapy that probably took about nine days to make. While the rest of the cast shouldn't quit their day jobs, the lead actor is actually quite good. He must have been the one who studied the script beforehand. The others deliver their lines as if they're reading from a chalkboard. The change in tone in the 3rd act is a little jarring, given what came before it, and it may actually kill the buzz a little bit. I deducted a star because it just didn't fit with what came before it, but don't let that put you off.
If you're a fan of campy horror that asks nothing of you other than to suspend your disbelief, turn off your brain and enjoy the ride.
If you're a fan of campy horror that asks nothing of you other than to suspend your disbelief, turn off your brain and enjoy the ride.
- ArcherAdam
- Jun 11, 2019
- Permalink
A down on his luck guy who cant afford a car starts a new job as a car washer, meanwhile a creepy van and its owner kill various people who are, for the part, unrelated to the storyline. There's your plot right there.
I actually was going to rent this from Red box, but thankfully never got around to it. Now that it's available on Netflix Streaming means that I don't have to lament a waisted dollar. This film was bad and not in the fun 'drinks and a few pals' type bad. Just plain bad. The meandering mess of a story seems to be cobbled together and made up on the fly at times. The bloody set-pieces are serviceable enough if you're undiscriminating but they're fairly sparse, leaving one to suffer through mountains of stilted dialog said by interesting characters to get to said gore. Not worth it.
Eye Candy: Veronica Adkinson gets topless as do Holly Kay Baker & Stephanie Stacy briefly
My Grade: D-
I actually was going to rent this from Red box, but thankfully never got around to it. Now that it's available on Netflix Streaming means that I don't have to lament a waisted dollar. This film was bad and not in the fun 'drinks and a few pals' type bad. Just plain bad. The meandering mess of a story seems to be cobbled together and made up on the fly at times. The bloody set-pieces are serviceable enough if you're undiscriminating but they're fairly sparse, leaving one to suffer through mountains of stilted dialog said by interesting characters to get to said gore. Not worth it.
Eye Candy: Veronica Adkinson gets topless as do Holly Kay Baker & Stephanie Stacy briefly
My Grade: D-
- movieman_kev
- Feb 12, 2013
- Permalink
"Creep Van" is a dark and twisted story that pits a guy trying to get his life back on track against a psychotic killer stalking him in a super modified creepy van. The film is directed by Scott. W. McKinlay and stars Brian Kolodziej, Amy Wehrell and Collin Bernsen. The story has Kolodziej playing a guy who moves in with his best friend after a harsh break up. He needs wheels and luckily for him there is an awesomely vintage "bad man" set roaming the neighborhood looking for buyers. Unfortunately it is just a mere lure to get potential victim, I mean buyers close enough to seal the real deal. This is the guy all our parents warned us about growing up! For me the film comes off a little more tongue-in-cheek corny than I would have liked to see with a film that is this bold and original. The acting is just a big cheesy which gives a strong comedic vibe but not so much that it sucks. You just get a too obvious since that everyone around this project knows how B-movie this thing is which takes away from the darkness too much. It really is a horror comedy minus tack sound effects. For me that is the only thing that doesn't quite fit with this film. "Creep Van" has some awesome and gory kill scenes and when it comes to psychos 'The Creep' in this movie is as brutal and unrelenting as any. It is the saving grace of the whole film. This movie is an obvious homage to early 80's films that blend "Madman" like atmosphere and horror with the truly twisted humor of "Maniac Cop". I wouldn't say that this movie is "scary as hell" but it is an enjoyable film that brings the blood. There is enough going right for "Creep Van" to warrant seeing. This is something that is against a lot of reviews I have seen online about the film that consider the movie crap. Yeah there are some crappy things happening here but taken on it's entirety this film manages to entertain and ride that cult classic gory feel from start to end.
- ASouthernHorrorFan
- Oct 1, 2012
- Permalink
If you like a some low-brow comedy to accompany your bloody B-rate slasher, then the Creep Van will deliver! *NOTE: The version found on Netflix is NOT the raunchier, uncut, extended version that I viewed online.*
Despite a couple of shoddy performance moments and an unmistakably low-budget vibe, Creep Van manages very decent gore and a few laugh-out-loud moments. The humor is fairly original, as is the storyline. The characters and kills are curiously quirky. It is written nicely, and the film makes the most of its' budget by employing traditional stage effects and camera trickery rather than CGI tactics. The soundtrack and sound FX, though mostly absent, worked well enough and weren't a distraction.
The pace is fine, however it's hard to keep track of time that passes within the film. Has a day passed, or a month? Contemplating this was a bother. In fact, there are a number of missing or incomplete components within the story that were slightly bothersome. They did not however, impede My overall enjoyment. I was glad to have watched it, and would watch it again.
There are a number of topless scenes, hilariously bizarre sexuality, and other graphic moments that make this film inappropriate for those under 17 and for those with a big stick up their ultra-tight posterior.
Despite a couple of shoddy performance moments and an unmistakably low-budget vibe, Creep Van manages very decent gore and a few laugh-out-loud moments. The humor is fairly original, as is the storyline. The characters and kills are curiously quirky. It is written nicely, and the film makes the most of its' budget by employing traditional stage effects and camera trickery rather than CGI tactics. The soundtrack and sound FX, though mostly absent, worked well enough and weren't a distraction.
The pace is fine, however it's hard to keep track of time that passes within the film. Has a day passed, or a month? Contemplating this was a bother. In fact, there are a number of missing or incomplete components within the story that were slightly bothersome. They did not however, impede My overall enjoyment. I was glad to have watched it, and would watch it again.
There are a number of topless scenes, hilariously bizarre sexuality, and other graphic moments that make this film inappropriate for those under 17 and for those with a big stick up their ultra-tight posterior.
- hi_im_manic
- Oct 7, 2012
- Permalink
I wanted to like Creep Van a bit more than I actually ended up liking it by the time this movie was done. In the beginning, it was very promising, a van that automatically creeps you, it almost gave a Christine vibe. It probably would have been more interesting if it went that route as there is a very human driver behind the wheel.
So we have a psycho and we have Campbell, a bit unlucky in the job department but still manages to find work, bless his heart. Campbell likes co-worker Amy (she of the strong face) and they seem to hit it off, but Campbell needs a car. His call to a guy selling a van sets off a chain of events no one sees coming.
No one sees it coming......because there is no logic to it. I recommend that those who haven't watched Creep Van to do so only to simply form your own opinion, but quite honestly, Creep Van is a movie that is less tongue-in-cheek than it is annoying at times. No rhyme, no reason, no "OMG, its you!" at the end. The gore effects are, for the most part, decent. There are characters you might want to like, but they don't stay long.
All in all, Creep Van is a selection for when you have nothing else to watch. It is low budget, plot wanting, a bit lacking in the acting department, but as a fan of all things horror, I give it 5 out of 10. What's next, Scott McKinlay? Ready to try again?
So we have a psycho and we have Campbell, a bit unlucky in the job department but still manages to find work, bless his heart. Campbell likes co-worker Amy (she of the strong face) and they seem to hit it off, but Campbell needs a car. His call to a guy selling a van sets off a chain of events no one sees coming.
No one sees it coming......because there is no logic to it. I recommend that those who haven't watched Creep Van to do so only to simply form your own opinion, but quite honestly, Creep Van is a movie that is less tongue-in-cheek than it is annoying at times. No rhyme, no reason, no "OMG, its you!" at the end. The gore effects are, for the most part, decent. There are characters you might want to like, but they don't stay long.
All in all, Creep Van is a selection for when you have nothing else to watch. It is low budget, plot wanting, a bit lacking in the acting department, but as a fan of all things horror, I give it 5 out of 10. What's next, Scott McKinlay? Ready to try again?
One thing I will say about this film...if you have seizures or are prone to headaches if flashing lights etc, as soon as the credits appear at the beginning, skip. I thought my eyes were going to explode watching that bit.
Anyway, the film. I liked it. True, its not an AAA title, but some of these films that are unknown can turn out to be real gems....sometimes.
So, this guy is down on his luck, starts work in a carwash, and due to public transport being a pain, wants a car/van etc. Rings a number, and thats when the trouble begins.
The van itself, has some very interesting ways to kill a person, obviously controlled by the driver. I was a little confused why no-one reported all these bodies etc, but that would have spoilt the film.
There is some humour in there, not a comedy type film, but just little bits that make you chuckle. Also, the sepecial effects are all the original type of stuff, no cgi/green-screen stuff, of which I mostly prefer.
If you like that kind of film, then give this a go, you may just like it
Anyway, the film. I liked it. True, its not an AAA title, but some of these films that are unknown can turn out to be real gems....sometimes.
So, this guy is down on his luck, starts work in a carwash, and due to public transport being a pain, wants a car/van etc. Rings a number, and thats when the trouble begins.
The van itself, has some very interesting ways to kill a person, obviously controlled by the driver. I was a little confused why no-one reported all these bodies etc, but that would have spoilt the film.
There is some humour in there, not a comedy type film, but just little bits that make you chuckle. Also, the sepecial effects are all the original type of stuff, no cgi/green-screen stuff, of which I mostly prefer.
If you like that kind of film, then give this a go, you may just like it
- eddie-32826
- Sep 14, 2019
- Permalink
I have seen Gag (2006) from director Scott W. Mckinlay and it wasn't my thing. It has taken a while, 6 years, before he made another full feature.
It's a different flick than Gag, Creep Van moves away from torture porn towards B-movie slasher. The effects used are really well done for a low budget but the acting wasn't always convincing. I guess it's a bit due the script not always being that good. When the killer appears the flick is okay and delivers for the horror fans and even the gorehounds. But it is in between that it sometimes become boring or even laughable.
The cameo from Lloyd Kaufman is funny because he's searching for Mr Kaufman. If you are into bad slashers from the seventies and even eighties then this is your thing, bad story, gruesome killings, gratuitous nudity.
Gore 2,5/5 Nudity 1,5/5 Effects 3/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5
It's a different flick than Gag, Creep Van moves away from torture porn towards B-movie slasher. The effects used are really well done for a low budget but the acting wasn't always convincing. I guess it's a bit due the script not always being that good. When the killer appears the flick is okay and delivers for the horror fans and even the gorehounds. But it is in between that it sometimes become boring or even laughable.
The cameo from Lloyd Kaufman is funny because he's searching for Mr Kaufman. If you are into bad slashers from the seventies and even eighties then this is your thing, bad story, gruesome killings, gratuitous nudity.
Gore 2,5/5 Nudity 1,5/5 Effects 3/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5
- poolandrews
- Dec 30, 2012
- Permalink
- smeet-299-56645
- Jun 21, 2015
- Permalink
This movie tries it has some interesting elements but the movie comes together as a mess of elements that don't work to make a cohesive story and some elements are so outright dumb that unless you were under the influence of some potent controlled substances would make you question "who could have filmed this and thought this was good?" It was hammy and fun at points though, it had some good mindless violence. The ending and some of the more tedious dumb scenes (like the job the main character had at the car wash place) just made the movie longer for no reason. The movie could have benefited from some scene trimming. The ending attempted to be a twist ending but just ended up being dumb and weird.
- brailsford
- Dec 2, 2014
- Permalink
When a film features a cameo from Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman there's a pretty high chance that it'll be very dumb, and it's almost as likely that it will be a low-budget crap-fest. Lloyd has a cameo in Creep Van. 'Nuff said.
But as dumb and as crap as this cheapo horror film undeniably is, I still had a reasonable amount of fun with it thanks to the inventive and rather graphic gore and a fair amount of female nudity (where there's Kaufman, there's usually a naked chick or three not very far away).
Creep Van stars Brian Kolodziej as Campbell Jackson, a loser who sorely needs a car of his own in order to improve his job prospects. For the time being, he takes work at a car wash, where he meets Amy (Amy Wehrell), whom he takes an instant shine to. Keen to get himself some wheels, Campbell rings and enquires about a van he sees for sale, unaware that the owner of said vehicle is a homicidal maniac who has fitted the van with all kinds of deadly booby traps.
Starting with a cool gore effect where a thief is bisected by the van's window, this film is loaded with enthusiastic splatter, making it a passable watch despite a terrible script and lots of lousy acting (Lloyd Kaufman gives one of the better performances, which should give you some idea of how bad everyone is).
Other juicy moments include a tough girl cut in half by the van, a chick in a bikini (played by porn-star Angelina Armani) having her head crushed, two of Campbell's friends being splattered while having sex, a guy's face mashed by an air bag full of nails, and a great death scene for the van's deranged owner.
I don't really want to make a habit of recommending Troma movies, but if you're in the mood for some seriously trashy entertainment then Creep Van might just about fit the bill.
But as dumb and as crap as this cheapo horror film undeniably is, I still had a reasonable amount of fun with it thanks to the inventive and rather graphic gore and a fair amount of female nudity (where there's Kaufman, there's usually a naked chick or three not very far away).
Creep Van stars Brian Kolodziej as Campbell Jackson, a loser who sorely needs a car of his own in order to improve his job prospects. For the time being, he takes work at a car wash, where he meets Amy (Amy Wehrell), whom he takes an instant shine to. Keen to get himself some wheels, Campbell rings and enquires about a van he sees for sale, unaware that the owner of said vehicle is a homicidal maniac who has fitted the van with all kinds of deadly booby traps.
Starting with a cool gore effect where a thief is bisected by the van's window, this film is loaded with enthusiastic splatter, making it a passable watch despite a terrible script and lots of lousy acting (Lloyd Kaufman gives one of the better performances, which should give you some idea of how bad everyone is).
Other juicy moments include a tough girl cut in half by the van, a chick in a bikini (played by porn-star Angelina Armani) having her head crushed, two of Campbell's friends being splattered while having sex, a guy's face mashed by an air bag full of nails, and a great death scene for the van's deranged owner.
I don't really want to make a habit of recommending Troma movies, but if you're in the mood for some seriously trashy entertainment then Creep Van might just about fit the bill.
- BA_Harrison
- Jun 28, 2014
- Permalink
I'll keep this short and sweet, and always, no spoilers.
You have your mainstream A-horror (eg Fridat t13, Rob Zombie, S.King, etc); you have your B-horror (eg indie films, Troma, Uwe, etc), which aren't all bad, only that they might be anywhere from limited budget all the way through having a budget but maybe no "name" stars; and then there are your C-horror movies. Most of these are barely tolerable and typically are what many people would qualify as "film-school" flicks. They aren't always awfully, but are typically bare-bones, home video camera shot, NO budget, but aren't all bad. This brings me to Creep Van.
This flick is definitely a step above C-level horror but does not make it into the realm of true B-level horror, as the budget is hideously limited, there are no recognizable actors, the special fx (while I have seen plenty worse flicks) are admirable but phony, and the overall film and production quality is just blah. Like I said...it's not the worst, but only by a small measure.
Interestingly, while the acting is poor (and very wooden) in most examples, the lead character (male) and lead supp character (female) both do at least B-level work in this (ie average), and while they are not stellar, it could certainly be worse.
When I read the synopsis, the first thought that came in to my head was "Christine," which isn't a bad thing. Make no mistake...there is nothing about this movie that deals with possessed or anthropomorphic cars. The van is a biproeuct of the lunatic driver, who you never really see and know no real history about. The plot, eluded to in the synopsis, I'm all for making "leaps of faith" in characters - typically found in B-movies - but there was ZERO explanation about the full how's and why's of the plot.
As noted, the special fx are indeed cheesy, but I give the writer/director credit. They were indeed a bit on the cheesy side, but they could have been much worse, and the production crew did an admirable job with what they were given. That said, I am a sucker for movies that include gore just for the sake of being gory, and that's definitely what Creep Van does. While it doesn't have $$ for solid players or solid tech, it's not for lack of trying, as there are some real "gory" scenes. There is simply not enough gratuitous gore in movies anymore (decent gore, anyway). True gorehounds won't necessarily rave about this, but casual horror fans might call it gory.
Overall, it's a forgettable C-level horror flick. There's no need to search it out, but on the same token, it certainly isn't the worst choice you could make. Just don't expect a lot. Watch it by way of taking everything you're given (no matter how far-fetched) and pretend like you're stoned on your buddy's couch watching this with a room full of high-ass suckaz. You might just enjoy it (a little bit). Stay sober at your own risk, but like I said...there are many worse films out there. Heck...I made it to the end.
Notes on parental content;
Something to have on late into a sleepless night. Otherwise, doesn't really hold up. You could do worse, however.
You have your mainstream A-horror (eg Fridat t13, Rob Zombie, S.King, etc); you have your B-horror (eg indie films, Troma, Uwe, etc), which aren't all bad, only that they might be anywhere from limited budget all the way through having a budget but maybe no "name" stars; and then there are your C-horror movies. Most of these are barely tolerable and typically are what many people would qualify as "film-school" flicks. They aren't always awfully, but are typically bare-bones, home video camera shot, NO budget, but aren't all bad. This brings me to Creep Van.
This flick is definitely a step above C-level horror but does not make it into the realm of true B-level horror, as the budget is hideously limited, there are no recognizable actors, the special fx (while I have seen plenty worse flicks) are admirable but phony, and the overall film and production quality is just blah. Like I said...it's not the worst, but only by a small measure.
Interestingly, while the acting is poor (and very wooden) in most examples, the lead character (male) and lead supp character (female) both do at least B-level work in this (ie average), and while they are not stellar, it could certainly be worse.
When I read the synopsis, the first thought that came in to my head was "Christine," which isn't a bad thing. Make no mistake...there is nothing about this movie that deals with possessed or anthropomorphic cars. The van is a biproeuct of the lunatic driver, who you never really see and know no real history about. The plot, eluded to in the synopsis, I'm all for making "leaps of faith" in characters - typically found in B-movies - but there was ZERO explanation about the full how's and why's of the plot.
As noted, the special fx are indeed cheesy, but I give the writer/director credit. They were indeed a bit on the cheesy side, but they could have been much worse, and the production crew did an admirable job with what they were given. That said, I am a sucker for movies that include gore just for the sake of being gory, and that's definitely what Creep Van does. While it doesn't have $$ for solid players or solid tech, it's not for lack of trying, as there are some real "gory" scenes. There is simply not enough gratuitous gore in movies anymore (decent gore, anyway). True gorehounds won't necessarily rave about this, but casual horror fans might call it gory.
Overall, it's a forgettable C-level horror flick. There's no need to search it out, but on the same token, it certainly isn't the worst choice you could make. Just don't expect a lot. Watch it by way of taking everything you're given (no matter how far-fetched) and pretend like you're stoned on your buddy's couch watching this with a room full of high-ass suckaz. You might just enjoy it (a little bit). Stay sober at your own risk, but like I said...there are many worse films out there. Heck...I made it to the end.
Notes on parental content;
- some adult language throughout. Not gratuitous but not mild either.
- alcohol & drug use is mild. Cigarettes are smoked, marijuana is smoked once, there is a scene with a large amount of MJ visible, and a drink or two is consumed. In no way do drugs or alcohol permeate the story
- there is a mild amount of nudity and sexual situations, but the sexual situations are more moderate. Multiple scenes with bare female breasts and male toplessness, multiple views of topless women with bikini bottoms only, and some rather fun looking (but kinky) BDSM - consensual BDSM. Nothing hardcore, but kind of tongue-in-cheek.
- Violence and gore is moderate. Most folks would likely classify this as "severe" but the affects are rather crude, making all the violent scenes far more tame and less intense." It's definitely a horror movie, but due to the film type and the fx budget, there isn't anything that is truly horrific to view. It's way more "fun" than not.
Something to have on late into a sleepless night. Otherwise, doesn't really hold up. You could do worse, however.
- Mike_T-Little_Mtn_Sound_Archive
- Jun 6, 2019
- Permalink
Campbell Jackson (Brian Kolodziej) is a 20-something, unemployed misfit in Detroit. Forced to take a dead-end position at a local car wash, Campbell sees a dilapidated 1970s van for sale... but this is no ordinary van -- it is the creep van!
We start the film with a character remarking that "only bad people own vans". I love that, as I think it is a widely-held sentiment. The featured van here, a Ford Econoline, is popularly known as a "rape van" (or "creep van" in this case). I am glad someone took the idea and ran with it.
Well played to Robert Hall on effects. Almost Human does some great work, and this film is no exception. At one point, we see a person who has lost their face. This is an excellent example of top-notch gore from these guys.
In cameos we have Angelina Armani (Hall's girlfriend) and Troma legend Lloyd Kaufman. That was a nice touch. The film as a whole has a nice, light-hearted approach to horror that I appreciate, and there is one scene that takes what could have been gratuitous sex and makes it actually entertaining in a non-sexual way.
Great horror film? Maybe not. But they knew what they wanted to do, did not try to go beyond their means, and pulled it off. I would take more films like "Creep Van" over the majority of the horror out there any day.
We start the film with a character remarking that "only bad people own vans". I love that, as I think it is a widely-held sentiment. The featured van here, a Ford Econoline, is popularly known as a "rape van" (or "creep van" in this case). I am glad someone took the idea and ran with it.
Well played to Robert Hall on effects. Almost Human does some great work, and this film is no exception. At one point, we see a person who has lost their face. This is an excellent example of top-notch gore from these guys.
In cameos we have Angelina Armani (Hall's girlfriend) and Troma legend Lloyd Kaufman. That was a nice touch. The film as a whole has a nice, light-hearted approach to horror that I appreciate, and there is one scene that takes what could have been gratuitous sex and makes it actually entertaining in a non-sexual way.
Great horror film? Maybe not. But they knew what they wanted to do, did not try to go beyond their means, and pulled it off. I would take more films like "Creep Van" over the majority of the horror out there any day.
Young down on his luck Campbell is trying to build a new beginning, he gets a job at a Detroit car wash and shares a place with a guy who likes fetish sex with his girlfriend. Just needs some wheels, he sees an old van for sale and calls the seller, unfortunately the owner is a maniac (The Creep) and uses the van to kill people. And kill he does, often and very violently, the van has been specially adapted to murder. Slasher and gore fans will not be disappointed. I am not a big fan of horror comedies, they either work or they don't but thankfully Creep Van falls into the latter, it is often very funny but equally it can be quite dark too. This is a low budget movie so don't expect great acting or effects but the makers have managed to do a great job with their resources. In addition to plenty of gore we are treated to several scenes of sex and gratuitous female topless nudity. There are some fun characters, movie legend Lloyd Kaufman pops up as a disgruntled customer. Right at the start a mother tells her young son, "Stay away from vans. Only bad people own vans!" Brilliant! I am very surprised by the current 4/10 score, I highly recommend it. With a cast/crew member called Erik Porn, what B-movie fan could resist that alone!!??
- Stevieboy666
- Jun 17, 2022
- Permalink
It was actually more a horror comedy
Even if it wasn't meant to be one
I found myself laughing at lots of the cheesy scenes.
If you're a Troma fan (like me) you could do a hell of a lot worse than giving this a spin.
Sure the acting is very ordinary but this film knows what it wants to be and wears it's schlock on its sleeve like a badge.
Some great prosthetic fx kills (no cgi to be seen thank god) some mild, often weird nudity for the sake of it (not complaining) and a decent plot.
A lot of fun for a mindless Sunday afternoon watch. Give it a go.
Sure the acting is very ordinary but this film knows what it wants to be and wears it's schlock on its sleeve like a badge.
Some great prosthetic fx kills (no cgi to be seen thank god) some mild, often weird nudity for the sake of it (not complaining) and a decent plot.
A lot of fun for a mindless Sunday afternoon watch. Give it a go.
- daviddaveinternational
- Sep 27, 2013
- Permalink
Some loser living in Detroit without a car finds a job washing and detailing cars. The cashier girl develops an interest in him. His boss likes him, but his co-workers don't. Apparently he rents a room in a house of some sexually adventurous people. Eventually he decides to buy the cheapest car he can find. Nearby parked is an old van. He calls the owner but gets no response. Then the owner starts calling him and harassing him. We've seen this van before. It and its owner have killed a bunch of random people gruesomely. The van is rigged with all sorts of devices to brutally kill people. It's like a moving Saw trap.
Our loser runs into a strange customer. It's Swami Ted who forgets a bag full of marijuana at the car wash, which is quickly picked up by the other employees. Ted blames the loser and threatens him if he doesn't return the drugs, when suddenly the van appears and nearly runs over Ted, if the loser hadn't saved him. Now Ted is grateful and offers to help him whenever necessary.
Eventually the creep in the van grabs the girl and the loser and Ted will have to confront the creep.
Creep Van is an endearing C-level horror movie. Acting isn't all that great, the loser character is likable enough though. It was filmed in Detroit and has the independent East-coast film feel. The characters are human and actually talk to each other, unlike your big budget Hollywood productions. There's plenty of gore and it's first rate quality gore. No cheap CGI blood here. There's some nudity, too. Overall the story works, even though we learn nothing about the creep. The ending is surprising and good. But there's not a whole lot of sense of dread and it's not quite what you would expect from a movie called Creep Van. There should have been more pretty innocent victims killed the the van/creep. In a way the movie focuses too much on the loser and not enough on the bad guy.
Our loser runs into a strange customer. It's Swami Ted who forgets a bag full of marijuana at the car wash, which is quickly picked up by the other employees. Ted blames the loser and threatens him if he doesn't return the drugs, when suddenly the van appears and nearly runs over Ted, if the loser hadn't saved him. Now Ted is grateful and offers to help him whenever necessary.
Eventually the creep in the van grabs the girl and the loser and Ted will have to confront the creep.
Creep Van is an endearing C-level horror movie. Acting isn't all that great, the loser character is likable enough though. It was filmed in Detroit and has the independent East-coast film feel. The characters are human and actually talk to each other, unlike your big budget Hollywood productions. There's plenty of gore and it's first rate quality gore. No cheap CGI blood here. There's some nudity, too. Overall the story works, even though we learn nothing about the creep. The ending is surprising and good. But there's not a whole lot of sense of dread and it's not quite what you would expect from a movie called Creep Van. There should have been more pretty innocent victims killed the the van/creep. In a way the movie focuses too much on the loser and not enough on the bad guy.