- Felicia Petunia: Well, uh, I sure would like Adrian to find somebody. Although, god knows, marriage is like committing suicide every single day of your life.
- Percy Petunia: Here, here!
- Charlie Petunia: Well, aren't you hungry?
- Robin McDougal: Starving. But it's a... it's a detox. It's a cleanse. It's a rebirth.
- Charlie Petunia: It's morally condoned anorexia. Why not just work out?
- Charlie Petunia: This is messed up. She doesn't know whether it's yours or his.
- Adrian Petunia: It will look the same either way.
- Michael Petunia: I'm just ready for this wedding to be over, and the marriage to start.
- Adrian Petunia: The wedding's supposed to be the easy part.
- [George finds out that Charlie's apartment is just above his]
- George McDougal: Oh, you're right on top of me.
- Felicia Petunia: Ambition is great. I mean, if there was no ambition, there would be no special Olympics.
- Dr. Markowitz: I think with a few simple procedures, we could have you *easily* not look a day over 55.
- Felicia Petunia: Hmm, but I a... am 55.
- Dr. Markowitz: Then we right the wrongs of time.
- Vivian Petunia: I think I like you more than him.
- Adrian Petunia: You're supposed to like me more than him. You're married to him.
- Vivian Petunia: You know, if it wasn't you, it'd probably be somebody else.
- Adrian Petunia: Yeah, I guess it's better to keep it in the family.
- [Vivian controls her laughter]
- Charlie Petunia: Vivian, you can't drink with the baby!
- Vivian Petunia: Charlie, that's a partial myth.
- Charlie Petunia: No, it's not. You'll get the baby drunk.
- Vivian Petunia: Hmm... lucky him.
- Robin McDougal: I don't want to be one of those people that settles for a shitty Because the Alternative takes too much work.
- Robin McDougal: I don't want to be one of those people that settles for a shitty life because the alternative takes too much work.
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