Private Gold 96: M.I.L.K. - Medically Improved Love Konstructs

Pornographers Louis Moire (French) and Max Candy (American) made endless videos for Private Media a decade back, most of which score ridiculously high (fraudulent??) ratings in IMDb. This amateur-night junker with sci-fi as its hook is typical of their approach: hire a bunch of beautiful Eastern European models and deliver generic sex scenes as if it were "erotic" or "stylish" -not.

A couple of doctor/scientists in a lab wear masks in the connective footage, with dumb voice-over reminiscent of those cheap sci-fi paste-up imports from the 1950s. On a TV screen near the table where they toy with experimental subject Keana Moire is projected the movie's many sex scenes, all poorly directed with lousy white backdrops or fancy stutter-frame editing gimmickry.

This is a sloppy production by mindless folk, with one of the display screens early on having the misspelling "Ressources" that made it into the final print. Title has an idiotic acronym attached, but the scene of Keana masturbating in a milk bath, touted in the "Making of" short subject by Moire, is one big nothing.

In IMDb, a lengthy roster of credits is listed for "Moire Candy", which is merely the compound credit taken by these two louts, reminding me of those old "Armstrong/Steel" credits used by Brad Armstrong with collaborator Greg Steelberg early in Brad's directing career.