Only You

From time to time, I like to take a chance on a film that I know absolutely nothing about: occasionally I discover a gem, but most of the time the result is less than favourable. Filipino zombie horror Izla (AKA Only You) is definitely one of the worst 'blind' watches I have had in quite some time. It attempts to blend humour and horror (with a little song and dance!), but Zombieland it ain't!

The film stars Paolo Contis and Archie Alemania as brothers Badong and Entoy, who agree to ferry a group of female vloggers - the V-sisters - to a forbidden island so that they can record their latest prank video. Once on the island, the group is attacked by zombie ninjas, the result of experiments carried out by the Japanese during WWII. Sounds like a lot of fun, but it's a total failure.

Izla spends a good half an hour on inane comedy before the zombies appear - there are lame gags about big breasts, erections and diarrhoea, with a really puerile scene involving a piece of corn - and I imagine that most sane people will switch off long before the end. Those of us who persevere no matter how tough the going gets are eventually treated to some really naff zombie action, the badly made-up undead pursuing the brothers and the vloggers. I hoped that everyone would die.