Beaver Lake Zombies

Oh my dear, sweet Lord!! A cheap knock-off of Redneck Zombies. My how low my beloved B-cinema has sunk. I would have loved to have seen the look on Lloyd Kaufman's face when the director of this movie suggested Troma pick this up. What nerve must it take to create something so terrible, and then ask even a company like Troma to pay money for the rights to it. Being the nice guy he is, Lloyd would agree to appear in the brief (and pointless) DVD introduction. If I was Lloyd, I would make it a point to never put myself in a position to be associated with Silver Bullet Pictures. I'm here to tell you, yes, it really was that bad.

Two New Jersey hit men, with stupid accents are transformed into zombies, after some green goo is dumped into Beaver Lake. You can tell they're zombies by how they stagger, and how they talk all goofy, now. Meanwhile, "Sexy coeds" and their fun-loving fifth wheel head out to, you guessed it, Beaver Lake for flirting, football, and other keen times, and if you can't figure out what happens next, this is probably the movie for you. Just kidding. I don't care how stupid you are, stay away from this one, as it may even make you stupider. Well, at least it had the common decency to last under an hour. For a Horror movie so low budget to not take itself seriously is usually a given, not to mention necessary, but what the guy that made Beaver Lake Zombies failed to realize is that it takes a little more than just being really, really bad for a bad movie to be good. Beaver Lake Zombies, you make me sick!! Oh, I'm sorry. And in case I forgot to mention, the Zombies in this movie talk!!

23 years after Redneck Zombies, there has yet to be a sequel. Oh, but it's cool, you can rest assure there is no doubt a sequel to Beaver Lake Zombies, entitled Detroit Blood City. In the directors defense, at least this guy went out there and became a filmmaker (sorta), as opposed to being just a mere filmtalker like Tromafreak. But just know this. If you ignore my warning and actually pay for, and watch this unforgivable sin against filmmaking, you will find yourself wondering what would be the point of creating something so pointless and irritating. Who knows? I may be talking about a future cult classic, here. That's the part that really scares me. Just forget you ever heard this intriguing title, and take my word that it's unwatchable, and go discover something awesome like Death Bed: The Bed That Eats, or Teenape Goes To Camp. As someone who has loved really, really awful movies for many years, I'm here to tell you that I despise this movie. And to think, I was all excited about Wrath Of The Skunkape. I think I've seen enough from this director. 1/10