User reviews

A rather silly, uneven, flawed but appealing romantic comedy where pet photographer Bryan gets forced to marry a Croatian woman Masha, by her crime lord father so she can get fast tracked citizenship and make amends for injuring the family cat. Strangely Masha does not have much of a Croatian accent.

In order to convince the immigration service, they are sent off to honeymoon to Tahiti. Of course Bryan is told to keep his hands to himself as this is just a paper marriage and his father's henchman, Vinnie Jones has first tabs on Marsha. However Bryan is smitten with Marsha but she is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded. Bryan with some help tries to rescue her, but her family thinks he is involved in the kidnap.

The film has lots of flaws. Why does Marsha's father try to bribe the Immigration Service officials? Why does he want his daughter to marry Vinnie Jones when Marsha despises him. Why does Mena Suvari lust after Bryan and act like a stalker?

Its only the charms of the two leads and Tia Carrere that propels this uneven film. Rob Schneider does his unfunny shtick as if he is still in an Adam Sandler movie. There is some beautiful scenery as the film was shot in Hawaii, there are a few star cameos and its surprisingly sprightly despite the problems with the screenplay.

Bryan Lighthouse (Dave Annable) is a pet photographer in Chicago and Tonya (Mena Suvari) is his clingy assistant. He is taken by a Croatian mobster after an incident with his wife's cat. Bryan is forced to marry his daughter Masha Nikitin (Katharine McPhee) in a visa marriage. Brick (Vinnie Jones) is the gangster's henchman. Bryan's mother (Kathy Bates) actually tells him to marry her. The girl turns out to be nice and normal. INS agents are on the case. During their tropical honeymoon, they encounter the weird helicopter pilot Ernesto (Rob Schneider) and his cousin waitress Lani (Tia Carrere).

I have never heard of this movie. I'm surprised at the good cast. The extensive cast is not actually bad except for Schneider. By this point, he should come with a warning. Funny enough, he's probably the only true comedian of the bunch. Quite frankly, I can see this as an Adam Sandler movie with all of his gang. I have never heard of Rob Hedden. He seems to have been a Hollywood journeyman. The main issue is that non of this is actually funny. Annable and McPhee are not comedic powerhouses. At best, they're the straight men in a comedy. They need an actual comedian and Schneider is not close. Also I'm a little tired of Annable. This is not so bad that it becomes funny again. It's trying to be a fun silly comedy and it doesn't have that. On the other hand, Hawaii does look beautiful.

OK, it's a romcom, but does that mean it has to be dumb, unfunny, and trite? Obviously those who make such movies feel the movie viewing public must want their romantic comedies made like this. This film was made in 2009 and is just now seeing some viewing light. They should have kept it hidden and maybe burn all the copies. A complete waste of time. You can have as many decent actors in a film, but if the writing is poor and the script is an insult to our intelligence, you get what this film is - a mess! Nothing makes sense here, the acting is terrible but the script is so poor and filled with so many things we've seen before that most of us could write a better story without much effort.

I was randomly searching movies in comedy genre when a found this one ... i liked the title ... so decided to see it ... I had very few expectations from it ... but as the movie progressed i fell in love with the characters ... Both the lead actors r very cute and fit perfectly in their role ... the location chosen for the shooting is out of this world ... its not a brilliant movie , i should tell u ... but u can have a good time watching it in your free time ... it'll lighten u up ... i found it much better than movies which uses vulgar words or situations to bring out the humor ...

Don't think too much about the research work , the plot and the reasoning ... production team has not put much effort on that ... but come on , after all its a movie NOT a science project ... So just sit back and relax ... Have a good time .... after all thats what movies r made for :)

This film tells the story of a pet photographer who is forced into a marriage with the daughter of a criminal mastermind, so that she can get a green card to stay in the USA.

The film starts off with a very bad sequence of a cat and a dog creating havoc. Fortunately, the film gets better after that. The story takes us to the really beautiful Tahiti, where every natural scenery is better than postcards. The story is very predictable, Rob Schneider's character is annoying and the rather raunchy girlfriend wannabe is unbelievable, but "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is still a very entertaining film to watch.

Review: This movie is more silly that funny. I found the leading character pretty annoying, and Vinnie Jones is playing his usual cockney hard nut, but if you don't take the movie seriously then it's just harmless fun. The storyline is really unbelievable, and the ending was pretty corny, but that's what you expect from a Rom-Com nowadays. I was surprised to see Kathy Burke in such a weak movie, but she didn't play a major role. As I hadn't really heard of this movie before, I didn't have high expectations so I wasn't massively disappointed. Average!

Round-Up: If this film had a leading character that wasn't so dumb, then it might have been half decent, but he just got on my nerves after a while. It's obvious that the director didn't really think the storyline through that well because it got ridiculous after a while. It just goes from one weird scene to the next, which makes its unpredictable in some ways, but silly in another. It was a waste of a good cast, except for the leading character, but you can tell that there wasn't a big budget so it shouldn't have been a massive lose.

Budget: $6million Worldwide Gross: N/A

I recommend this movie to people who are into there silly Rom-Com's about an arranged marriage that goes totally wrong. 3/10

I actually enjoyed this romantic comedy. Sure it was as predictable as they come, but still it provided some good entertainment. The movie had all that you could want, more or less, in a movie; comedy, laughs, action, gun fights, car chases, and great scenery.

The story in "You May Not Kiss the Bride" is about Bryan Lighthouse (played by Dave Annable) who works as a pet photographer, who lives a fairly unromantic life. His mother (played by Kathy Bates) is breathing down his neck, asking for him to get married and give her grandchildren. One day, while on the job, Bryan's assistant Tonya (played by Mena Suvari) cause an accident involving a client's cat. The owner of the cat is the wife of a Croatian mobster (played by Ken Davitian), and he forces Bryan into marrying his daughter, Masha, (played by Katharina McPhee) so she can become an American citizen. But the mobster's minion (played by Vinnie Jones) is in love with Masha and doesn't approve of this marriage. The 'happily married' couple embarks on a fake honeymoon to a tropical resort where things get out of hand.

I found the story to be rather enjoyable and fun. It had a bunch of great moments. And the story was really helped along by the cast of great actors and actresses they had brought in. Especially Dave Annable was doing a tremendous job in this movie. But also Rob Schneider (playing Ernesto) and Tia Carrere (playing Lani) was doing good jobs as well. The story is fun to watch, and it has just the right amount of romance and comedy to it.

The characters in the movie were well-played and had good depths and personalities. Each were given good time to shine on the screen, and no one really came off as drones or generic characters.

I loved the idea they had come up with when one the kidnappers got that laminating resin thrown on his and the bucket was removed from his face. I was laughing so hard at the result of that. It was just brilliant.

If you enjoy romantic comedies, then you should check out "You May Not Kiss the Bride". It has a great love story, it is filmed in really beautiful locations, and it is great fun to watch. Don't' miss out on this one.

Hi! This is just one of the movies where everything go bad from the start. It seems that sponsorship of one tropical island and shooting on their locations are only purpose of making this movie. When you writing the script you must have some right facts, but that is not the thing in this script. Writer/director has choose some random country for birthplace of lead actress. "Croatian bride Masha Nikitin", with surname that don't exist in Croatia (i have searched) and name is so rare. Nikitin is from "son of Nikita", and it is Russian surname and Masha is Russian name. Why Croatia then? Maybe because father of bride looks and talks like Croatian guy? No, he looks like more like Bulgarian, talks Russian English (you can compare his accent with Goran Visnjic in ER - he IS from Croatia - and look too...). OK, then this is because of joke about coffee in Croatia? No, look at American winning documentary Wow Croatia, where is mentioned that around noon in working time coffee shops are full of people drinking what? Coffey! Because it is bad? No! Because it is good! Lead coffee maker in Croatia, Franck is formed 1892, and in Croatia it is big influence of Italian coffee products and Nestle... And that is just start of the movie. I think i don't need write more...

This is a pleasant and slightly predictable comedy filmed in Hawaii. The premise is cute. A marriage arranged for a green card for a Mob Boss's daughter turns into true love on a honeymoon on a resort island. Some parts are a bit slapstick and silly. It is obviously not a huge budget rom-com but it is still worth watching.

There are some winning performances. Katharne McPhee is lovely and slimmer than on Idol here. She shows she can act as well as sing. Dave Annable tries hard with the slightly silly material he is given. Rob Schneider was a bit under used considering he is the biggest comic star in the movie. Kathy Bates is a little under used as well. Tia Carrerre is a bit plumper and older but suits her role.

According to me a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, and this movie does. You can say it's not deep and it may have some flaws, some mislead facts and stuff but people, do you watch a comedy to learn about history? NO, you watch it for entertainment and this movie is hilarious on many occasions. To all those who rated this movie with a 4 or 5...think about the purpose of the movie, if you want a deep,meaningful movie then this isn't for you but if you just want to sit back and have a laugh then don't hesitate. Very decent comedy and quite different from the cliché Hollywood romantic movies. Everything has it's purpose. I didn't laugh this much since Due Date.

This movie had one of the most unrealistic plots I have ever seen... such as a very conveniently located canoe.

That said, I watched the whole thing...

So basically it is watchable: even cute at moments, incredibly dumb at others

A high point is the island... it is gorgeous

It actually made me consider a career in scriptwriting... I know I can write at this level for sure!

Keep your expectations low, and you won't be disappointed Actually, if you watch it with your boyfriend, he will probably enjoy it if he likes action scenes and crude humor (just a few things, but for me they detracted from the already flimsy story in my opinion)

I am glad to see they are still making decent movies in this genre (Romantic Comedy Blended with Action/Adventure). One Sunday I noticed this movie was airing on MoviePlex, and even though it was already a few minutes into the movie I gave it a watch. (I came in at the wedding.) I'd never heard of this movie or the two lead actors, and I expected it to be pretty bad. I was mistaken. The story was a bit silly, but nonetheless allowed for suspension of disbelief. Once the key event occurred and the action commenced, the pace was maintained pretty well with just enough laughs mixed in with the action to keep me on the couch and pleasantly entertained until it was over. It wouldn't (and didn't) win any Oscars, but it was far from a waste of two hours.

ACTING I had never heard of their names, but I quickly recognized the lead actress and actor from their TV work. They both did well as movie leads. I was surprised to see the two of them backed up by bigger names like Tia Carrere and Rob Schneider, along with Mena Suvari and Vinnie Jones. Everyone performed their roles well. I like Rob Schneider, but I usually don't like his movies. That's because a little Rob Schneider goes a long way and you usually get way too much. We got just the right amount of Rob Schneider in this one.

OTHER This was not a low-budget movie. It was filmed in a gorgeous Tahitian setting, and the cinematography, chase sequences, and helicopter effects were outstanding.

FOR PARENTS There is nothing in this movie that should keep most parents from letting their kids see it. While there are SOME amorous antics, they are extremely tame. The language is G rated as well. The main protagonists have decent morals, and one of their allies' lesser morals are depicted as silly. Vet the show if you feel you are a little stricter than mainstream.

Will you American ever learn how CROATIA ISN'T Russia!!! We don't look like this, we don't talk like this, our names aren't like this!!! Our music isn't like in the movie!!!!! Shame on you because you have some kind of education and all the people on this movie, some of you might open a Google if not a book. This is sooooo wrong!

It's actually a pretty nice comedy, with good cast, beautiful scenery and solid script, with couple of good twists. Yes, the facts about Croatia were ridiculous and untrue, but they weren't the main part of the script, or even very important part of it( it could have been any eastern European Slavic country )! Being Croatian myself, really can't see the reason to get overexcited about the fact that some people in Hollywood don't know geography, they have been known to make far greater mistakes in respect to other nations! So( to my fellow countrymen especially ) I don't think it's a good enough reason to trash a pretty good comedy!

Expectations are big when it comes to movies. That being said I went into this with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. There was actual jokes and some thought put into the plot. Not much...but enough for it to be passable entertainment. It's a pretty random selection of character actors who all add some humor. Rob Schneider is hit or miss but he wasn't too bad in this. Anyways, go in with low expectations and you might be entertained.

This film is just those films that has everything in it -- like Comedy, Romance, Action and adventure. The acting is also good, I am a big fan of American Idol and Smash so I know that Katharene McPhee will be just great on this Romantic/Comedy film. Dave Annable on the other hand was a surprise. Watched him on 666 Park Ave and I've never thought his acting would be that convincing for his character on this film. The storyline is simple but you'll get hooked to it. I don't know why the rating for this film here on IMDb is so low. I gave it a 9 because it made me fall in love with the characters. Just give it a try, if you're a fan of romantic/comedy films, Im sure you'll love this too.

Turned out to be funny and cute! Really enjoyed it and had a few laughs. Good acting too!

I know comedies supposed to be fun and light (which this one is btw, and that is the only reason it has 2 star and not one) but it would be better if they could actually have some minimal reality check. The girl is Croatian, her father has Croatian name but far more eastern slavic surname (Russian, Ukrainian). They supposed to be Croatians, but the daughter talks russian and her father croatian (but eats borscht and drink Russian Standard vodka) and the stereotype about ordering bride... Hell no! Balkan people drink raki(j)a (google it) and eat burek IDK...