The Open Door

I don't know about you, but I'm getting pretty tired of 30-year-olds pretending to be teen aged clichés. And this steaming cinematic extrusion packs in most of Canoga Park's middle-aged bartenders and wait staff into one long, unintentionally hilarious carica-turd of high school archetypes terrorized by...oh who cares? I mean, really, if you can stop laughing at grown adults pretending to be misunderstood adolescents, you'd be bored by the plodding mash-up of the Wishmaster, When a Stranger Calls, and a plethora of cursed-media movies (like The Ring). Seems the producers spent their entire budget on by-the-numbers post- production effects you've seen a million times before, and stock sound effects.

In the end, it's an unintentionally entertaining wad of poor acting and amateurish direction, wrapping disconnected plot ideas and an obtuse sense of contemporary dialog. If you're as high as the producers who green-lit this thing, then this is the movie for you. Just try not to wonder how "high school students" have male pattern baldness.