Labor Pains (2009)

Cheryl Hines: Lisa DePardo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lisa DePardo : It smells like something died in here.

  Thea Clayhill : It did... my soul.

• Greg : You know, I find it fascinating that Kristin is only a month further along than you, and yet she's the size of a school bus while you're still over here looking like Kate Moss.

  Thea Clayhill : Uh, different strokes, I guess.

  Greg : Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it.

  [reaches for Thea's stomach, Lisa swats at his hand] 

  Greg : What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach.

  Lisa DePardo : Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg.

  Thea Clayhill : And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg!

• Thea Clayhill : I look rediculous. These jeans are elastic on the top. I feel like I'm wearing a condom on my stomach.

  Lisa DePardo : Trust me, you don't look like you've been anywhere NEAR a condom.

• Lisa DePardo : I need you to say 'My Name is Thea and I am NOT pregnant.'

• Thea Clayhill : Do you think he'll ever forgive me?

  Lisa DePardo : Do you want me to be honest? Or do you want me to make you feel better?

• Lisa DePardo : Ew. Look at those nipples!

  [reading a pregnancy book] 

• Greg : Congratulations, Thea.

  Thea Clayhill : Thank you, Greg.

  Greg : You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't cha? I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. It super stinks.

  Lisa DePardo : Hm.

  Thea Clayhill : Well, really? Do you think that it stinks that I wanna hire you to be my assistant?

  Greg : Really?

  Thea Clayhill : You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through.

  Greg : Oh wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I- I could kiss you right now.

  Thea Clayhill : You don't have to do that.

  Greg : I'll see you later, boss.

• Thea Clayhill : He's actually kinda cute, though. Don't ya think?

  Lisa DePardo : Who?

  Thea Clayhill : Um... Nick.

  Lisa DePardo : Um... No.

• Lisa DePardo : Pregnant. It's brilliant. Where'd you come up with that?

  Thea Clayhill : Oh, I saw it on an episode of Law and Order. Yeah, you can't fire a pregnant women. Discrimination, lawsuits, bad mojo... whatever.

  Lisa DePardo : Smart.

• Lisa DePardo : If you want people to think you're pregnant, you gotta start talking the talk and walking the... waddle.