Plot

Prison guard Vince tells Molly from acting class, that one inmate is his 24 y.o. love child. Vince takes him home to stay with his family - straight A son with fat girl fetish, college dropout/stripper daughter and cute wife.

The Rizzos, a family who doesn't share their habits, aspirations, and careers with one another, find their delicate web of lies disturbed by the arrival of a young ex-con (Strait) brought home by Vince (Garcia), the patriarch of the family, who is a corrections officer in real life, and a hopeful actor in private.—IMDb Editors

Vince Rizzo (Andy Garcia), a lifelong resident of the tiny Bronx enclave of City Island, is a family man who makes his living as a corrections officer, but secretly longs to become an actor. Ashamed to admit his aspirations to his family, Vince would rather let his fiery wife Joyce (Julianna Margulies) believe his weekly poker games are a cover for an affair than admit he's taking acting classes. When Vince is asked to reveal his biggest secret in class, he sets off a chain of events that turns his mundane suburban life upside down. Inspired by the exercise, he decides to bring his long-lost ex-con son Tony (Steven Strait) home to meet his family, and it soon becomes clear that everyone - including his college student daughter (Dominik García-Lorido), teenaged son Vinnie, Jr. (Ezra Miller), charismatic acting partner (Emily Mortimer) and drama coach (Alan Arkin) - has something to hide. A perfect storm of deception and half truths makes Vince and his family members realize that the truth may not set them free, but it is easier to keep track of than all their well-intentioned lies.

Living on City Island, in the Bronx, Vince Rizzo (Andy García), a prison guard, is the father of a dysfunctional family whose members all have secrets. Vince discovers that his secret illegitimate son is now the 24-year-old prison inmate Tony Nardella (Steven Strait) who is being held in the same prison where he works. Clam diggers are natives of city island. Muscle suckers are immigrants to the island, from outside.

Without revealing this truth to his family (or Tony), Vince consequently gets Tony out of prison and employs him as hired help (In order to build a bathroom in the outhouse within 30 days) at his own home in order to become closer with his unknowing son. Vince has also been secretly taking acting lessons, taught by Michael Malakov (Alan Arkin), and begins to form a platonic bond with Molly (Emily Mortimer), an aspiring actress. Vince confides in Molly that he told his wife that he has a poker game. He also tells her about Tony.

Vince's family is totally dysfunctional. His son Vince Jr, is not interested in grades as he feels he will only end up in a meaningless job like his dad. Vince says that better than being someone's secretary, which is what his wife Joyce is. Joyce says she would have got her college degree had she not gotten pregnant with their daughter Vivian. Vince tells Joyce that he knew Tony's mother from before, and she suspects him of having slept with her. Meanwhile, Vince Jr, asks Vivian on dinner table, if her breasts are getting bigger.

Vince continues to seek solace in Molly's company. Molly shows Vince ads of movies that are trying to get off the ground and even encourages him to go on audition the coming week. Vince shows up for the audition and finds a line that goes around several blocks. He learns that its a Martin Scorsese film and De Niro is starring in it.

Meanwhile, Vince's 20-year-old daughter Vivian (Dominik García-Lorido) (played by the real-life daughter of her on-screen father) has not told her family that she has been suspended from college (for smoking pot in her college room), lost her scholarship, gotten breast implants, and become a stripper to try to pay for her next semester; their youngest teenage child, Vinnie (Ezra Miller), has a secret sexual fetish for feeding large women, and fantasizes about their fat next-door neighbor; He goes to porn sites dedicated to large women and finds the next door neighbor there. He uses Joyce's credit card to enter the site. and Vince's wife, Joyce (Julianna Margulies), thinking she has lost all marital intimacy, sexually pursues Tony without realizing that he is her stepson.

Vince Jr discovers Tony's mugshot and now knows that he is a convicted felon and shares the same with Vivian. Vince successfully auditions for a part in a Martin Scorsese film (he sucks at first, but then the casting director goads him into getting inside the skin of the character and Vince delivers a perfect scene. He gets a call back), while his wife and Tony seek each other's sexual attention. Joyce cannot think about cheating on Vince and calls him at work. But she learns that he called in sick. She calls his mobile, and Vince was at audition, and he lies that he is at work. Joyce thinks Vince is cheating on her. Joyce drives Tony to a secluded spot under the pretext of buying supplies and wants to have sex with him. Tony refuses to have sex with her and reveals that Vince is not cheating on her.

Vince, Jr. befriends the neighbor, who helps to bring him closer to an overweight girl whom he has been attracted to at school.

Tensions rise as the family's many dysfunctions come to a head. Tony, finally deciding to escape the insanity of the Rizzo household, steals their car (On the way out he sees Vince sitting with Molly and believes that Vince was perhaps indeed cheating on Joyce) but finds Vivian working at the strip club. Meanwhile Joyce finds Molly's business card inside Vince's book. Tony decides to bring Vivian back home in the family car. Vince brings Molly home to finally admit the truth to Joyce that he is pursuing an acting career. But Joyce thinks that Vince brought Molly home to tell Joyce that he has a mistress. Joyce tells Vince that she touched Tony that day and felt like she hasn't felt in years. Just before the group is nearly torn apart in a violent outburst, Vince reveals the truth about everything (Molly is Vince's manager, Vince went on an audition that day, Tony stole the car and Vivian is a stripper), with Tony discovering in amazement that the dysfunctional family he sought to escape is actually his own. Vivian and the others admit their faults and Vince acknowledges the family's problems with the desire to work them out.

The finally relieved group reunites in forgiveness toward one another, welcoming the overwhelmed Tony as a new member of their bizarre but loving family. Vince lands the film role. Molly leaves town and returns to her own family.