- [a TV performer in a long ballgown has just come out of the studio]
- Helen McKay: My hem - it's all wet. Is there water on the floor?
- Jasmine Bligh: There had better not be. There's ten thousand volts of electricity running through...
- Stage Manager: Oh hell! Excuse the language, ladies. It's the cyanide again. No! Don't touch it! The cameraman's spilled his ruddy fixing fluid again. Extinguishers! As fast as you can!
- [two men spray the performer's dress with water]
- [over the studio talkback intercom, after the final rehearsal before the first transmission]
- Cecil Madden: Leslie, you were wrong. You don't look at all petrified.
- Leslie Mitchell: Well I could *see* my hands shaking.
- Cecil Madden: They're not in shot.
- Leslie Mitchell: My jowls were quivering. Lolloping about.
- Cecil Madden: Not noticeable, Leslie. The camera's shaking at the same tempo so it cancels it out. Sorry, Cameras! That was a joke. Everything's under control. Oh God!
- [he drops his notes and scripts on the floor]