- Narrator: [shows McGillicuddy's personal makeshift toilet] Well, look at that. McGillicuddy's private one-homer. What a layout. Sunshade, library, toilet tissue, beautiful view, even gardenias... AND A HELL OF A GOOD HOME FOR DYSENTERY GERMS.
- Narrator: [after the decontamination squad dumped the culprit at the Head with a splash] McGillicuddy, you made your bed, now lie in it.
- Narrator: [after the soldiers got sick in bed] And now, because of one man's carelessness, a whole unit is flat on its back.
- Japanese Radio Announcer: [mock-Japanese accent; relaying a long message] Oh, Tokiyo carring... Oh, Tokiyo carring... . Oh, so good-o news: We discover we have a South-a Pacific Yankee Marine who help-a Japanese War Effort. This-a Yankee, all the time, make honorable bowel movement at wrong rocation. All his buddy Yankee get-a dysentery. Ohh, make weak rike pussycat. This honorable Yankee name: McGirrikaddy.
- U.S. Soldiers: [listening to radio, realizes who done it; together] MCGILLICUDDY?
- Narrator: [the decontamination squad gets to work] Yeah, McGillicuddy. Go get 'im, boys!