User reviews

The first Anaconda was passable, the second was pretty poor but nothing could have prepared me for this! Though the ultra low IMDB rating should have really come to mention it.

I guess was doomed from the start, it has a tiny budget by comparison, it's the third film in an already cheesy scyfy level franchise and the biggest star they could get to carry the movie was the "Hoff".

So yeah, it all looks so very terrible. I could do better sfx than this (And have), the snakes look pitiful and the cast look positively bored throughout.

Though Hasselhoff is better than usual he still can't carry a film and the incredible John Rhys-Davies has a heartbreakingly small role here.

To make matters even worse the plot is generic, the pace is snooze worthy and the whole thing is just seven shades of embarassing.

One more movie to go at time of writing, it can't get worse than this........right?

The Good:

The "Hoff" is better than usual

John Rhys-Davies

The Bad:

Poor cgi

Actually manages to be incredibly boring

The advertised "Stars" are barely in the film

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Always know the animal before the hunt

Cool girls don't look at explosions either

This gets my vote as the worst of the Anaconda movies. As a sequel and on its own terms, Anaconda III is wretched. The scenery/sets are quite nice and Crystal Allen is decent, but that's it. The photography is flat and rushed and the film looks as though it has been edited on a bacon slicer. The continuity is inconsistent as well complete with poor gore effects, the writing is vacuous and eye-rollingly cheesy in alternative to funny and the story is hopelessly predictable. The direction is sloppy, the music is generic and forgettable, the film is unevenly paced and unsatisfyingly resolved and the characters I didn't feel anything for. The acting is just dire, David Hasselhoff and Crystal Allen are the only ones who try and while the enthusiasm is admirable Hasselhoff is embarrassing in his acting and delivery, Allen however is far more believable and manages to be the film's sole redeeming quality. The other actors look bored and uninterested, and any scenes that tries to be suspenseful, atmospheric or frightening fails, instead it is laughable. Overall, dreadful sequel and film. 1/10 Bethany Cox

When a film features David Hasselhoff and his crack team of snake-fighting mercenaries facing off against a 60-foot-long genetically altered anaconda before the opening credits even roll, any fan of B-movie cheese can arguably presume they're in for a good time. Hasselhoff's self-deprecating humor and strange otherworldly charm make him an endearing punchline, and also translates well into the world of Sci Fi Channel stardom. Sadly, after that opening scene, The Hoff all but disappears for the next 45 minutes of the film, and what starts with campy reptile-killin' fun quickly spirals into boring laboratory diatribes about the dangers of gene manipulation and the real-world uses of unlikely immortality drugs.

Although the ads would lead one to believe otherwise, ANACONDA III actually centers on Amanda (Crystal Allen), a scientist who works for Universal Bio-Tech and the nefarious—and appropriately named—Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies, obviously still fuming over not being included in the new Indiana Jones film). It seems that he's been playing God with the reptilian world and has somehow managed to create an anaconda that's not only larger and angrier than any snake on Earth, but sports a three-foot machete growing out of its tail. This Ginsu butt comes into play numerous times during the film, and while the results are always spectacularly gory, a serpent's bladed posterior is inescapably difficult to take seriously.

Since all B-movie snakes carry the cure for (insert disease here), another round of unethical testing is underway, and it isn't long before our slithering behemoth breaks out of its cage, knocks off everyone but Amanda and her boss and heads out into the lush green wilderness of Romania. It's only then that Hasselhoff's Hammett and a group of ALIENS space-Marine rejects (resembling the United Colors of Benetton) are hired to eradicate the monster, which has taken up residence in a nearby farmhouse. With that, we've now got the prerequisite team of Special Ops, the cheap sets and the giant CG monster…everything required for a yet another weak entry in the recent string of bland Sci Fi Channel originals.

Director Don E. FauntLeroy, who served as DP on the JEEPERS CREEPERS movies and nearly 50 other films, has managed to shoot a good-looking feature, but fills it with every painful cliché imaginable. First-time screenwriters Nicholas Davidoff and David Olson sprinkle in occasionally fun dialogue, but their script is ultimately burdened down with bland characters and extremely corny, uninspired plot twists. Hasselhoff's Hammett, a fun antihero who deserves more screen time (and one-liners), is delegated to a glorified supporting role beneath far less interesting characters. Rhys-Davies, whose cameo appearances work quite well, will hopefully receive a beefier role in ANACONDA IV (the direct sequel shot back to back with this movie, scheduled to debut this December); otherwise, he served virtually no purpose at all. It's only Allen as the spunky Amanda who breathes any life into her role; a surprise, given her lack of substantial film experience prior to headlining this one. Unfortunately, given the material, even she has trouble rising above the movie's stupendous mediocrity. When all is said and done, ANACONDA III should have been a much better film, but it also could have been much worse. The cast is sorely mismanaged, the plot is all over the board and the digital FX—particularly a handful of atrocious greenscreen driving shots—are by-and-large laughable, but the cast and crew obviously worked hard with what little they had. With any luck, this sequel's surviving characters will find more to do in the next entry, and we'll end up with a film that's not just meatier, but more entertaining. A direct-to-cable second follow-up to a creature feature headlined by J. Lo and Ice Cube doesn't need to be a masterpiece, but it should be passable as an evening's fleeting distraction. ANACONDA III is just barely that, but it's still regrettable that something as inherently amusing as David Hasselhoff fighting a giant snake couldn't have ended up just the slightest bit more fun.

Harmless fun. A couple of giant, generically altered snakes break out and terrorize people. The snakes are not-great CGI, but they commit a lot of mayhem, probably more graphically than you'd expect. David Hasslehoff (yup, you read that right) leads the group that is chasing them. Best part of the flick, by far, is Crystal Allen, who plays a PhD and a snake expert, and she's my favorite type of snake expert PhD, the type that is a smoking hot blonde and spends almost the entire movie in a tight, form-fitting tank top. Crystal also works hard to sell her character, and she's fun to watch.

Debuted on Sci-Fi channel in advance of the DVD release, you could do a lot worse.

OK, this is such a load of horse poo i give it a minus 1. So bad and cheap and again bad it is actually not even funny. Filmed in east Europe but failing east Europe standards - that says a lot. The entire film budget probably would not last for producing half a bay watch episode. Note the elegant transition because this brings us right to ...

And then there's the thing where this movie has THE HOFF in it, which counts automatically for 3 points. Making a total of 2 points.

I take it all warnings to watch this crap are in vain because YOU MUST HAVE THE HOFF! And right you are.

Trust in THE HOFF, THE HOFF is good.

We went into this movie with incredibly low expectations seeing as we were looking for a bad movie that we could just laugh it. This movie far underachieved even my lowest expectations. The acting was worse then in a porno, there was no beginning or ending, it just went and at the first close up sight of the anaconda rather then feeling a slight chill every single person in the room burst out laughing. Throughout the entire movie I did not know a single characters name, because they didn't bother with character development of any sort. And the highlight of the movie was of course David Hasselhoff, who's mustache would mysteriously appear and reappear from scene to scene. All in all this movie was a masterpiece of terrible, perfect if your looking to mercilessly mock something with a group of close friends.

This is exactly the type of movie SciFi should be presenting and/or producing. Not a shoe-string budget, but not a student-project level production either; a name actor (even if the name is Hasselhoff), and enough humor/blood/story to keep someone interested when they're not in the mood for Shakespeare.

The talent involved in this movie was B level, top to bottom, but from the director-a longtime camera operator and cinematographer, to the former Baywatch star, it's made by longtime professionals, and the serious attempt at making a quality movie is noticeable.

And the snakes were as cool as you get for this kind of money (at least when they're not on a plane).

I'm looking forward to Anaconda 4!

Forget the horrible second film in the series (ANACONDA 2: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID) as ANACONDA III is a much better production and in much the same spirit as the ultra-cheesy original. Yes, this is a cheapo B-movie TV production, filled to the brim with cheesy CGI, bad acting and a script that goes around in circles for ages. But it's also a whole lot of fun.

B-movie fans will be in their element with this action-packed storyline, which sees a pair of gigantic killer snakes on the loose, pursued by a pack of bounty hunters with material reward in mind. Half the film consists of David Hasslehoff and John Rhys-Davies trying to outdo each other in terms of scenery-chewing, and the rest consists of the fake-looking snakes ripping up the human cast members in increasingly gory ways.

Yes, this is a film all about the kills, and they're satisfyingly bloody by genre standards, about the same as in my other cult favourite, AZTEC REX. Watching a series of poor actors getting munched on is an often hilarious experience, and it helps the film run along smoothly. ANACONDA III: OFFSPRING is certainly no classic, but I enjoyed the heck out of it.

For the most part I was Horrified! At the movie that is, the cgi was the worst of all 3 movies and the story was just plum stupid. Upon the original release of Anacondas back in 97, the cgi was great. Most of the time you couldn't tell that the snakes where fake. However in this picture every time you see one of the over-sized snakes, all you see is a glowing snake-like figure thats really shiny whom looks nothing like the snakes in the original film. Frankly I would be ashamed to be J.lo, Ice Cube, or Jon Voight! Don't get me wrong I loved the original, thats why I get so mad when someone does a sloppy remake! I really wish that someone could tell me why we are farther in times yet our cgi worsens with every year. Im a big cgi I nut, if stuff looks fake, I don't really care to watch it. Also the snakes in the first two films where proportionate, the weren't so big that you would never believe them to exist. This film is like a remade "Python". The snakes are probably a few hundred feet long! How stupid? If s0ny produced this film, then I have nothing more to say, they should loose their L's to shoot films.

I knew from the beginning this will be a poor film, but didn't expect so many failures. To such an extent that this is more amusing than the movie itself.

Yes, the CGI is from 60-s, the acting is poor, except for Crystal Allen and Patrick Regis in few moments. But it is so funny to see anacondas move in a straight line - which is impossible for snakes! Or when David Hasselhoff dialled on the phone with all fingers simultaneously! I was sure he is misleading his companions and was surprised the phone call was not fake...

In a summary - if you enjoy to find silly mistakes in films - you're on a right place! But don't expect anything else from that movie.

While researching an offspring of anaconda with transgenic for saving lives discovering cure for cancer and Alzheimer in the facility of Wexel Hall Pharmaceutics, the CEO Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) refuses to invest in a larger tank and more security and staff as advised by the head of the project, Dr. Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen). When he focuses a light in the tank, the anaconda attacks and breaks out the confined facility. Murdoch hires a team leaded by the mercenary Hammett (David Hasselhoff) to destroy the animal.

What a crap this lame "Anaconda III" is! This collection of clichés is awful, not funny, noisy and ridiculous, with terrible screenplay, acting and CGI. I believe the anaconda likes dyed blonde since the beast attacks everybody but the twenty-nine year old scientist along the story. Do not waste your time like I did is my final advice. My vote is one.

Title (Brazil): "Anaconda 3"

The original Anaconda was a fun B-movie bolstered by a good cast; Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid was a more than serviceable sequel, despite zero star power; Anacondas 3: Offspring is made-for-TV drivel shot in Romania where movie-making is cheap, and its stars are The Hoff and Gimli. No famous faces would have been preferable.

The risible plot sees sexy blonde herpetologist Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen) team up with ruthless hunter Hammett (David Hasselhoff) and a team of mercenaries to find and destroy a deadly snake that has escaped from a laboratory owned by terminally ill billionaire Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies), head of Wexel Hall Pharmaceuticals. For reasons too convoluted to go into, the snake is over 60ft long and still growing and has a big spike on the end of its tail with which it impales its prey.

With a terrible supporting cast comprising largely of local Romanian talent, diabolical special effects (the green screened backdrop used whenever someone is driving a vehicle is appalling), ridiculous creature design (in addition to a spiked tail, the snake also has glowing red areas around its head), and a script that rips off both Aliens (the mercs obviously inspired by that film's marines) and Predator (Amanda avoids being attacked when she is covered in mud), the film is barely watchable, its only plus points being some gore (severed limbs, decapitations, impalements) and the fact that Crystal Allen spends much of the time in a tight white vest.

To make things worse, the streaming site I found this on made me watch a music video by a whiny rapper called Pk3y before the film started. Talk about adding insult to injury!

Anaconda III (2008)

1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly horrid film has some scientist giving serum to an anaconda, which causes it to grow 60-ft and gain fast speeds. The thing eventually breaks loose so it's up to some hunters (led by David Hasselhoff) to track it down and kill it. The first film in the series is one of the greatest "animal-attack" movies out there. The first sequel was mildly entertaining but this thing here is rather painful to watch. I'm really not sure where to start on this one but I guess we'll go with the horrid special effects. The CGI effects are so incredibly bad that you can't help but shake your head. Just take a look at one scene where a man gets his head bitten off and the blood just starts flowing into the air and it never comes down! Other crazy stuff includes this large snake going through weeds yet the weeds never move. The blood is constantly shooting out and it looks like maroon paint. Why they even messed up the color of blood is beyond me but there wasn't a single shot of anything CGI wise that looked real. I'm sure many will blame the small budget, which is probably fair but if you can't afford something half-way decent then why not just leave it out and try to be creative in terms of scares? No, we just get the really cheap and really bad gore effects. The story isn't much better as we're thrown into PREDATOR territory again but there's nothing exciting here. The performances aren't much better with Hasselhoff looking very bored and wanting to rush off to cash his check. None of the supporting players really add much but the screenplay doesn't exactly do them any favors. I love giant snake movies because I hate snakes and these type of films usually freak me out but not once did I get that feeling here. This is just a horrid movie from start to finish.

Following its accidental escape, a snake-handler is sent on a mission with a team of trackers to return to the jungle and must use their hunting skills to track down and destroy the creature before they mate.

This was a highly enjoyable killer snake effort. One of the best elements to it is the fact that this one managed to cram a lot of highly enjoyable and entertaining action scenes so that it's never boring. It's pretty much non-stop from the beginning as the opening capture of the snake is a short-but-fun moment with a ton of gunfire goes off in every direction and features the novel concept of managing to not kill anyone off during the process. From there we get the rather exciting escape sequence where a lot comes into play, from the exciting sequence where it bangs against the glass with the released gas, stalking it through the hallways and heating ducts to the graphic kills and much more in a fun, lengthy sequence. The rest of the movie is non-stop action as it's one big sequence starting with the confrontation on the farm. The gunfire is used appropriately with the proper amount of damage to the snake and some nice deaths mixed in with the action incorporating some really new and unique set-pieces into an explosive scene, and even a wild car chase in jeeps with the snake rolling through the underbrush followed by the cars which is a nice plus. There's also the finale where the big confrontations are held inside a creepy, dank basement, which adds a fair amount of atmosphere to the events, the action is top-notch with the two snakes each getting in a rather fun moment and it ends the movie with a real blast. The last plus is that the film manages to keep it's early scenes in the laboratory quite interesting. It's all back- story, but it's not that dull, manages to make some sense when it easily could've been something else entirely and it sets up the later scenes quite effectively. Along with its quite messy and really bloody kills, these here are what make this one enjoyable against what is the only real flaw to it. This is the ever-present and totally fake-looking CGI for the creatures. There's a few moments here and there where it looks passable at times, then there's moments where it looks directly at the camera and its obviously-pixilated image becomes so goofy that it starts to become hilarious, especially when it's interacting with the present humans, where it doesn't match up at all. This is the film's only flaw.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and some Language.

Anaconda 3: offspring (2008) is a television horror film premiered on Syfy Channel on July 26, 2008, is the 3rd series of Anaconda franchise that started in 1997 ... This movie is good for entertainment with all its shortcomings .. The CGI effect is austere .. Acting the normal course .. So enjoy everything ... Anaconda 3 thats awesome!

I've heard that this was the worst of anaconda movies, but I've found it surprisingly entertaining.

Giant anaconda that was mutated for experiment is on the loose. The movie runs very much like the Python if you've seen it. Giant snake slithering around and people hunting and running away depending on which scene.

The story is bit thin, but acting is good, and twist and turn in the story keeps your attention glued to the screen.

Not a complete wreck by any means compared to some other monster creature based story. Recommended for a view.