Dead by Midnight (Y2Kill)

Dead by Midnight is a public access TV channel presented by a female goth host, who introduces four stories of the macabre, complete with ghoulish commercial breaks.

This is one of those horror anthologies where each segment is helmed by a different director. Different directors, but a similar lack of talent, all four stories being utterly atrocious.

First up is Hellevangelist, directed by Hannah Fierman, in which an old woman with a grudge pays a visit to a TV evangelist. The cheap production values, lame acting and bad storytelling set the standard for the rest of the film.

Story number two, Jasper (directed by Torey Haas), involves an animator coming face to face with the murderous cartoon cat created by her father. Holy cow, this one is bad! The CGI effects for the killer kitty are awful (as is the character design) - if you don't have the budget or the technical know-how to do the idea justice, just don't do it!

Anissa Matlock's Clean UR Room sees a teenage slob being stalked by his dirty washing; it's every bit as crap as it sounds.

The penultimate story is Heroes of Time, in which a group of nerds playing an online, virtual-reality, fantasy RPG become trapped in the game and are attacked by a big smurf. Naff visual effects and terrible performances make this a stinker of epic proportions.

The final tale is Gut Cruncher, directed by Jay Holloway: three high school wimps are given a chance to pass gym class - all they have to do is survive six minutes in the ring with demon wrestler Gut Cruncher. It's played for laughs; it didn't get any from me.

The tongue-in-cheek commercial breaks are plain embarrassing.

Horror icons Kane Hodder and Linnea Quigley take time out from their hectic convention schedules to lend the film some 'star power'.

1/10.