The Last House on the Left (2009)

Michael Bowen: Morton

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Morton : [telling joke to Giles]  So the next week, he's even hornier. And this time, he's got twenty bucks instead of ten. He goes back to the whorehouse, he slaps down the twenty, and tells the madam he needs to get off, but he ain't going to screw no goddamn chicken this time. She says it still ain't much, but she can help. She tells him to go to the room at the top of the stairs. This time there's just a bunch of guys jerking off, but one of the jerk off guys assures him "oh hey, it's cool, it's cool" and he waves him over to this whole toilet they're all looking through...

  Krug : Oh, can we stop please? I really gotta take a piss.

  Morton : Fuck you.

• Morton : Praying now?

  Krug : Oh Lord! Won't you grant me an empty mayonnaise jar to piss in.

  Morton : You know Krug, considering the rather notorious nature of the prison you're headed to, I think I'd pray for something a little more substantial.

  [car suddenly gets hit by truck]