- ALF: No offense, but, Kate, if you get a job who's gonna take care of me?
- Willie Tanner: ALF, you're 231 years old. You should be able to take care of yourself by now.
- ALF: You'd think so, wouldn't you?
- ALF: I can't believe it! You're gonna be a mother! Brian, get some papers. Lynn, boil some water.
- Kate Tanner: Well, ALF, the baby won't be here for eight months.
- ALF: Who's talking about the baby? I want a cup of tea and I want to read the funnies.
- Lynn Tanner: Julie and I stayed after school to protest cheerleading tryouts.
- Willie Tanner: Well, why would you do that?
- Lynn Tanner: I was protesting because I think cheerleading is a sexist exploitation of the concept of woman as perennial spectator. Julie was protesting because she was eliminated in the first round.