Knocked Up (2007)
Jay Baruchel: Jay
Photos
Quotes
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Jay : Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah : What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!
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Jonah : We got pinkeye.
Ben Stone : Were you giving butterfly kisses or something?
Jason : Ha ha ha, very funny That's not how you get pinkeye. You get it from poo particles making their way into your ocular cavities.
Jay : Um, I farted on Jason's pillow as a practical joke. He farted on Jonah's, thinking it was mine, and then eventually pinkeyed my pillow. I'm not proud any of this, but I think we're all forgiven each other. Um, but we can't go anywhere.
Pete : You can get pinkeye from farting in a pillow?
Jonah : Totally!
Pete : That's awesome!
Jonah : Jesus, Martin got it bad. What, did someone take a dump on your eye?
Martin : No. No pinkeye for me. I'm just really... high.
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Jason : You stay here.
Martin : Why?
Jason : Cause your face looks like a vagina.
Martin : Dick!
Jonah : How's it going Crockett, been hanging with Tubbs lately?
Martin : Come on man, I'm getting it from all angles here, I really don't like it anymore.
Jonah : I know, me either. Was it weird when you changed your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
Martin : Yeah, it was really awkward.
Jonah : All right, see you later Scorcese on coke.
Jay : [Makes a roar like Chewbacca from Star Wars]
Martin : What the fuck was that?
Jay : You know, Chewbacca.
Martin : Oh, another beard joke.
Jay : [walks away, embarrassed] Fuck.
Martin : Fucking hilarious!
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Jay : Because your face looks like a vagina.
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Jay : [to Martin] That's the fun; you're supposed to be tempted into shaving.
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Jay : [shouts] I wanna get off!
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[first lines]
Jay : I got to get off! I got to get off! Got to get off! Got to get off!