The Amazing Screw-On Head (2005 TV Movie)

Molly Shannon: Patience the Vampire

Photos 

Quotes 

• Screw-On Head : You let America down...

  Emperor Zombie : You let me down. You went on and on about how sweet the candy was, then told me not to put it in my mouth, and got mad at me when I did.

  Screw-On Head : If by "candy," you mean ancient forbidden evil, then yes, I told you not to put it in your mouth.

  Patience the Vampire : I think your forbidden evil is fresh as a daisy.

  Emperor Zombie : Thank you, darling.

• Screw-On Head : Nobody moves or Patience dies. Again. Permanently!

  Emperor Zombie : Ah, yes, if you can't have her then no one can. Patience, darling, do I have permission to let Head stake you if it means world domination?

  Patience the Vampire : Yes, my love.

  [whispers] 

  Patience the Vampire : No!