- Bo Beaumont: It was wartime! There was a rubber shortage. We tried painting condoms on with gravy browning, but they wasn't 100% effective.
- Bo Beaumont: Get a whiff of that. Nothing more irresistable than the smell of a mature woman's macaroon.
- Bo Beaumont: And for only £2 more, I got some multi-vitamin-and-truth-drug capsules, and a lemon-and-lime reusable gusset freshener.
- Bo Beaumont: Next thing, she's off to Bermuda with a suitcase full of provocative scanties! If she'd stuck to a lattice jam tartlet and a Vimto, all this could've been avoided!
- Miss Babs: No point asking you, Clifford, since you lost your memory in 1982 and never got it back.
- Mr. Clifford: I keep forgetting I've lost it.