User reviews

Haunted Boat, what a movie name! Sounds like a working title they forgot to update doesn't it?

It tells the story of six 20 somethings who go out on a boat to party and weird things happen and.....yeah....so.....wow.

I was immediatly struck by its low rating, at time of writing it's sat at 2.1 and that's incredibly low. It takes a special breed of movie to get a rating like that and I was convinced this wouldn't be one of them. It is, it really really is.

For me to rate a movie 1/10 means it has no redeeming features at all, it means it fails on literally every single front and that's an accomplishment in itself and very rare.

The story is non-sensical, the sfx are awful, the cast/characters are forgettable, the construction is dire and the soundtrack! Is so poorly done I can't even put into words. They play stock music that doesn't even remotely go with the scene and it's so inappropriate I actually laughed out loud.

Haunted Boat is one of the worst films I've seen in years, it's a masterclass on how not to make a movie and something that makes the Sharknado films look Oscar worthy by comparison.

The Good:

Hahahahahahaha NO!

The Bad:

Terrible cutaway scenes

Laughable sfx

Really poor title

Awful cover art

Random soundtrack that just doesn't fit the scenes

Stock screams

Dreadful "Plot"

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

You can identify Amish folk by their faces

The "I fear no evil" passage of the bible has never worked in the history of movies

I checked this movie out when it still had 6 votes and it said like 7.2 or something, but seriously this is a horrible movie. Lets break it down. The first thing you notice about this movie is that it was filmed on a hand-held digital camera owned by a freshman at a community college. the next thing you'll notice is that the actors, are all friends of said freshman (he probably met them at the pub the night before. Third on the list you will notice that the musical editing is horrible, and they try to cram many songs into this movie, at 30 second intervals... also all digital editing is done on said freshman's home PC... probably using windows movie maker. This movie was horrible... pretentious, had an undeniably bad script, and acting that followed suit. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone I know, but I do sentence the writer and director to watch this movie in hell for an eternity.

This is easily one of the worst 5 movies I've ever seen. It's not scary or any of the other things suggested in the plot outline. This movie is agonizingly slow and I was bored for almost all 98 minutes. While the acting is mediocre at best, the biggest problem is the script, which is poorly written, slow and plodding with no real direction. Occasionally an eerie mood is set only to be broken by some useless line or event. I'm not surprised that the entire cast was sick and throwing up between shots, they did after all have to try and digest a terrible script. As a huge fan of good horror movies, I'm always irritated that something this bad gets made. Save yourself 98 minutes you'll never get back.

"Haunted Boat" is probably, if not definitely one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And here's why.

You could not ask for worse acting, to me I personally thought this was a college media class, where a group of students had to make a scary movie.

Secondy, the camera work is worse than terrible; I wouldn't be surprised if they were using a video phone.

And I can write so much more, but would be here for hours! All in all, please please please do not watch this. It is 90 minutes or more which I will not ever get back of my life, and I'm saying this for your benefit.

This film on paper looked like it could possibly be good, after watching though i realised that this film was completely terrible!! The plot has no meaning, and i think i counted the best part of 5000 cut scenes each one making the film more annoying boring and ridiculous. I watched this late night pitch black no noise at all just to add to the SCARINESS of it but the truth is the only thing that scared me was the music, what they would call tragic music, they play opera i mean be serious!! This film sums up all of what is not good about this type of film. To be honest ill say no more but watch at your own risk this film is just complete rubbish, ENJOY!!

I saw this film yesterday. I must admit, it weren't my cup of tea. Although it's supposed to be a horror movie of its kind. But as I was watching this, I was thinking.. 'This movie isn't making any sense at all..' Where on earth did this guy in the dark coat came from? Where were the two guys were going when they left the girls behind? Where on earth did a shark came out from?

All these elements in this film somehow didn't add up. I felt as if these filmmakers wasted so much time and money on a film that was so bound to be so crap.

I've seen many good horror movies in my time, but this is one of the most worst horror flicks I've seen. At the end of the movie, I said to myself that I wouldn't watch it again.. So much pappy show in this film, I've decided to give it the thumbs down! Count me out on this one! 0 out of 10!

Sure this movie wasn't like. 16 blocks, inside man, an American haunting. etc...

But It was a great mystery that can happen to anyone of us.. i found this movie really great and scary.

I live exactly where they filmed this movie "san pedro, California" And we have heard true stories based on incidents of this movie.

I dunno if you've heard of the famous boat in long beach "Queen Mary" Well that boat is haunted. i believe in spirts, illusions, and parallel or however u spell that. is real. everybody's in there own universe.

and the mind is a powerful thing.

i recommend to watch this movie. it's great, and not bad directing at all.

for those who rate it a 1. they don't understand the film. its meaning. its plot, its view. and how bad the ocean life can be for each and everyone of us.

Ty.

Victor

do not ever watch this film...it is the biggest pile of sh*te i have ever come across in my whole life. and thats saying something. the acting, storyline and filming were absolutely dire this is THE WORST FILM IN THE WORLD!!! seriously doesn't it even give you a hit seeing as it cost my 99p from sainsburys and it was only made in 2005? hahaha this film is like a cheap college movie you can even see the camera in the corner of the screen....although if u really wanna watch it you gotta watch the "scary shark scene"...possibly the best piece of acting i have seen in my life...ha ha. i mean seriously this is the biggest waste of 2 1/2 hours EVER!!

I really can't see how any one can find in this flick a psychological, philosophical or spiritual subtext of any significance. In fact, when it tries to go this route, it becomes pretentious and confusing.

However, despite the plot and the generally mediocre acting, this film did manage to hold our attention till the end, and delivered a few genuine shivers. I did get the feeling that had I joined the characters in smoking a 'doob' I might have the whole thing more profound..

Haunted Boat also offers some nice ocean scenery, and some babes in bikinis.

If you're looking for a fairly decent time killer for a rainy night, this might do.

Haunted Boat sells itself as 'The Fog' meets 'Open Water'. In many ways this is accurate. There are scares and weird looking people to keep you interested.

However the acting ability is poor at best. Showing clear signs that this is merely a bunch of friends making a horror film. Which in all credit they do to the best of their ability. When you accept the low budget makes it very difficult for special effects, with the ghosts looking pretty much like men with rubber masks on.

Many aspects of the film are creepy and strange. But it suffers for using too many twists and turns in a short space of time which just leaves you bored and confused. In terms of keeping you awake the film does it very well. Ignoring the irrelevant twisting every 5 seconds near the end, you actually want to know what is going on. And are willing to wait the 1hr 35 minutes for the climax.

This is no Ghost Ship but it'll definitely do for an evening in front of the T.V.

I was sitting around incredibly bored so I elected to watch this movie. Terrible acting, terrible writing, i could film higher quality with my cell phone from 4 years ago. My brain has officially turned into poo mush after watching this crap. Im no critic myself however I do know if I have a mild sense of entertainment, and this film most assuredly to not accomplish that. How this movie was every considered to be worth producing and showing to the public I have no idea. The one and only perk of the movie is you see one characters boobs for a second, other than that there are lots of things to do that make you feel like your time and / or money was well spent. Save yourself the time and watch paint dry or grass grow. Both are much more entertaining than this.

While I agree that the film is hurt badly by the technical merits, particularly in the first third, it does move towards a very surrealistic feeling that reminded me a lot of Carnival of Souls. That film was similarly pretty low rent, but managed to create a very unearthly atmosphere. Haunted Boat seems to be at least trying for the same thing, although with less internal logic. So I give it a few points for ambition.

I'm fine with 0 budget movies and unknown actors, writers, directors. I really have nothing positive to say about this flick. I lasted about 15 minutes before turning it off. I had to reread the plot synopsis and genre because this film comes across as a " what not to do" when making a film. Let's put together all the cliches of people who are in their 20s. Everything was awful. Run dont walk away from this "film"..

This is actually better than the occasional low budget crap fest. I have seen many, and this is among the better of them. It actually has some originality, and is almost smart in a way. Now it has a lot of flaws, but it has it's good qualities too. They actually did fairly well with the extreme low budget this movie must have had. The acting is okay, obviously not going to be the best. Many of the scenes take place during night, where there is a lot of mist, which was smart so the boat didn't have to be on water during filming. The ending, which I half expected, but it is actually a thinker. Give this movie a try, it's not the best, but it doesn't deserve it's rating on here. It was better than Haunted Forest and Acts of Death.

Some of the reviews on this movie make it seem like a super intellectual movie of parallel worlds and peoples deepest fears... I think its just a frustrating, boring,and confusing mess of ideas that don't lead anywhere. The ending makes no sense and it takes a excruciatingly long time to get there.