Thank You for Smoking (2005)

David Koechner: Bobby Jay Bliss

Photos 

Quotes 

• Polly Bailey : [in a restaurant, referring to Heather]  You didn't tell her about us, did you?

  Nick Naylor : Who? Heather? No!... I mean, maybe in passing.

  Polly Bailey : In passing.

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Oh God, he fucked her. I tried to warn you...

  Polly Bailey : Hey, he didn't fuck her. You didn't fuck her, did you?

  [Nick doesn't answer] 

  Polly Bailey : When?

  Bobby Jay Bliss : In passing.

• Nick Naylor : [Narrating]  Right there, looking into Joey's eyes, it all came back in a rush. Why I do what I do. Defending the defenseless, protecting the disenfranchised corporations that have been abandoned by their very own consumers: the logger, the sweatshop foreman, the oil driller, the land mine developer, the baby seal poacher...

  Polly Bailey : Baby seal poacher?

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Even *I* think that's kind of cruel.

• Bobby Jay Bliss : [in a restaurant]  Did you know that you can fool the breathalizer test by chewing on activated charcoal tablets?

  Polly Bailey : Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal."

  Nick Naylor : Won't the police ask about the charcoal in your mouth?

  Bobby Jay Bliss : There's not a law against charcoal.

  Polly Bailey , Nick Naylor : Yet.

• Polly Bailey : How are you feeling?

  Nick Naylor : First time I'm thinking these cigarettes are really dangerous

  Bobby Jay Bliss : [Puts a gun on the table]  you might be right about that, it might be small but it'll do the job, one shot BAM

  Polly Bailey : He's not going to shoot anyone

  Joey Naylor : Cool

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Yeah? I mean guns should be treated with respect you understand?

  Nick Naylor : You make a great father

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Thanks

• Polly Bailey : [in a restaurant]  How about it Nick, are you a tit man?

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Don't answer that, that's a trap.

  Nick Naylor : Depends on the tits.

• Bobby Jay Bliss : The way I heard it, D.C. police found you naked, laying in Lincoln's crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said...

  Polly Bailey : He doesn't need to hear the details.

  Bobby Jay Bliss : It was some pretty fucked up shit.

  Polly Bailey : Shh!

• [the Merchants of Death pass through a metal detector, which beeps as Bobby Jay, the firearms lobbyist, passes through] 

  Bobby Jay Bliss : [to Nick and Polly]  You guys go on ahead, this might take a while.

• Nick Naylor : [seeing him an apple pie covered in cheese]  That's disgusting!

  Bobby Jay Bliss : It's American.

• Bobby Jay Bliss : Last week, we had another disgruntled post man. Of course, an hour later, the. Washington Post is calling me on the phone. Godless Swine! I said to em, " Now if a plane crashes on account of pilot error, do you blame the Boeing corporation?

  Polly Bailey : Nice.

  Nick Naylor : That's a good one.

  Bobby Jay Bliss : Thank you!... If some booze-besotted drunk runs someone down, do you go banging on the door of General Motors?

  Polly Bailey : Tell me you didn't't say that.